Giving up alcohol - have you become teetotal? How has it been for you?

[hmcAsWas]

Whilst I am not alcohol dependent, I do drink more than is good for me (4/5 nights per week, and probably 5 or 6 units some evenings). I just really enjoy it - in the way that other people have a thing for chocolate.

As I am getting older and am taking more care with other aspects of my health, I think it can only be beneficial to consider dropping alcohol too. Its bad that my first concerns are personal vanity - alcohol is counterproductive for my weight maintenance and it is very ageing ....but also I know that it is generally implicated in various diseases and health conditions...

If you have given up alcohol I would be very grateful for your frank assessment of how it has been for you. Are other people a total pain about you not drinking at social events? Do you miss it horribly? What have been the good points or bad points? Has it been hard to maintain?

We do sound similar. Can I ask, if people suggest cutting down or just drinking one glass, would you like me think, well what's the point in that? That, to me, was when I realised I wasn't drinking because I liked the taste/ritual of a G and T, or because red wine went with spag Bol, or I only liked white wine with fish, or the baby was teething, or whatever other bollocks I said. I was drinking to get drunk, or if you prefer, tipsy, or relaxed, or to unwind or "blur" the day's events. It was alcohol, preferably in large quantities that I wanted! Even after realising this I kept drinking, with the justification that that is why everybody drank...that's just modern life, normal for my social circle etc.

It's only being sober that I can acknowledge how it limited everything in my life. I do feel so much better. I would (like a bloody annoying reformed type ) urge you, and everyone really, to think about and try an alcohol free period and weigh up the benefits. It's hard to break a habit or an addiction, but the benefits (mentally as well as physically) in doing so are immense. It's worth giving it a try.

I'd recommend to anyone who wanted to cut down that they stop completely for three months. Do a reboot on the whole alcohol thing and then make a decision.

I'd suggest a month tbh - 3 seems like a long time when you're going from it being part of your daily life to nothing. Start small, see how you go after 4 weeks, then go for 6 weeks, then 8 and so on ..work up to it. Of course, you may have far more willpower than me - in which case ignore me

SirChenjin, I think a month is too short to have to face at least one situation where you definitely would have had a drink and have to choose not to, e.g. leaving do, party, meal out or whatever. The aim is to look at all the triggers that lead to drinking particularly if the aim is to find a way of drinking moderately.

I was under the impression that the drinking in question is daily as opposed to limited to social occasions? If it's only social drinking then longer is probably more appropriate, but if it's daily or every few days then I'd still go with a month to start with and gradually build up.

I don't think OP is looking to cut down, it was a more general comment prompted by Purple's post.

Yes - and I thought Purple was drinking daily? Which is why I still believe that going from that to nothing for 3 months is too much. You don't have to agree with me though, it's only a suggestion

I stopped completely 11 years ago when I was pregnant with DS1.

I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol for years, I knew I drank far too much, I knew I couldn't drink in moderation and had to stop, but I could never do it.

I think a lot of it was tied up with my low self esteem. I didn't think I deserved to give up for myself IYSWIM, but giving up for someone else (my unborn baby) made it easier.

It was never my intention to stop drinking completely, but I had such a rough time with DS1, the thought of throwing alcohol into the mix with a baby who wasn't feeding or sleeping properly was horrendous.

Around 4 years ago, I became extremely unwell and have since been diagnosed with bipolar. The meds I have to take don't mix well with alcohol and it would just be a really, really bad idea for me to even have a sip.

As part of my treatment, I saw a psychologist who was not surprised in the least that I was self medicating with alcohol. There are still days now when I wish I could just get shit faced and forget everything for a few hours, but so far, I've managed not to.

One of the benefits is that I can go to all sorts of social occasions and I never have to worry about getting home because I can always drive. I also never find myself in vulnerable situations any more (been in many in the past when pissed) and I can have plenty fun without drinking alcohol which is something I could never have imagined in the past. No hangovers and it saves a fortune!

That's good to hear Mawbroon - so many positive experiences.

Day 4 so far - danger point will be this weekend, but I will prevail!

brightbaglady you have described exactly why I went tee total 6 months ago. I only had a couple of drinks per week, but had started to find that even the smallest amount of alcohol made my mood low for 48 hrs afterwards. The 2nd 24 hrs were always worse than the first, for some reason. I just decided that it wasn't worth feeling shitty for 2 days just for the sake of a tipple. I have felt gradually better over the past couple of months, but initially I had a few ups and downs. I can honestly say I feel liberated now though. It feels like such a positive thing to do for myself.

I only tend to get the low mood after a particularly heavy session...

I've gone booze free for 10 days so far - has been surprisingly straight forward. I guess that I was 'ready' for it

Well done!

I used to be hungover the next day and depressed the day after.

Thanks Mawbroon

I'm going to give this a go too. I did Dry January, which was fine to start with but got a bit more difficult as the month went on. Drank last month, a few glasses of wine, a few times a week, but I can really relate to the depressed feeling for a day or 2 after drinking. I seem to spend every Saturday in a foul mood, and I've only recently associated it with my Friday night wine habit! Drinking really buggers up my sleep too. Hoping to make it a longer-term thing this time. Day 2 for me x

Good luck Pippinn. I've found it astonishingly straight forward so far (circa day 15 now) and I haven't even been tempted by the free bar in the hospitality suite at football. I think I must just be 'ready' for it

I now sit in the pub with a lovely mocktail or a brew. I honestly love it, and my friends often skip the alcohol and join me. It's sort of become cosy and fun rather than raucous. I have noticed that I'm getting irritable though, and I wonder if it's because I used alcohol to drown feelings IYSWIM?

Do you find they do non-alcoholic cocktails at most pubs madmomma? I tend to ask for diet coke - am sick of diet coke!

Well anywhere they'll do normal cocktails there will be someone who can make a mocktail, even if they have to invent one. I don't think the place I go to have been asked before but he enjoyed the challenge and now I get allsorts. Yeah diet coke just isn't the same.

Bumping this up. I have been considering going alcohol free for a while too. I haven't actually had a drink for 3 months now and really haven't missed it. However I haven't had any big social occasion yet and I'm worried how I will handle that. Mainly a holiday with friends I have coming up. It's usually involves plenty of drinks with nice meals etc. And honestly I really enjoy it.

I'm not a big drinker anymore since I've had kids. I used to be on my 20s. If I could just stop at a few that would be great and sometimes I do. But far too often I go too far, get ridiculously drunk and say or do something I regret. I do recognise I have had a really bad relationship with alcohol in my life and the worst things that have happened me have been due to alcohol. I also have a lot of great memories of fun nights with friends, growing up together and alcohol was a big part of that. I'm rambling now! I'd just like to know how people have dealt with things like nights out/ holidays etc

I'm almost eleven years @therockinggazelle and admittedly I don't have too many nights out these days, but anytime I have since stopping, I love the feeling that I'm out, part of what's going on, but will wake up 'clean' and bright the following morning. And I love being aware of everything on holiday, having the energy every day to really enjoy my surroundings and what's on offer, unlike in my drinking days when I could miss half the holiday being ill (and usually paranoid) in bed. Over time my friends have got on board with my being teetotal and prefer me that way, which really helps. Also, I only go out or away with people who understand that I don't drink and don't ever want to again. I wouldn't swap even the occasional anxious episodes I get while out now for the old days of crap that went with drinking.

Pretty much stopped drinking 5 months ago, not completely on purpose though - it just sort of happened. This has probably contributed to losing 22kg in that time. Have tried drinking once or twice recently but it just makes me feel crap now so I'd rather not bother. Have just calculated how much money I'm saving by not drinking any more too -will probably work out at £1500-2000 over a year...bonus!

I stopped drinking at 19/20 and I’m now in my early 50s , there is a family history of alcoholism on my mothers side ( she’s not she’s tee total) and at the time I’d have said I had an addictive personality so didn’t want to start down the slippery slope . I’ve never found it an issue , dh doesn’t drink either and neither do our now adult children . We will buy wine / beer in if we have guests ( as does my mother) but I’ve never been tempted to have any .

Just found this thread: hooray.
I stopped drinking completely just over a month ago, and , apart from feeling utterly bollocksed with tiredness all the time, am thrilled about the results – I’m happier, my skin is better, I’m remembering to work out/floss/muck out the pets/brush my hair/moisturise, my work productivity is miles better.
This weekend is going to be a bit of a test. I have a VBF[very Boozy Friend] and her children coming to stay, and the expectation is that we’ll get slaughtered (VBF and me, not the children)and tell scurrilous secrets about mutual acquaintances. Not sure whether to tell her I’m not drinking, or whether to slosh alcohol free wine/Seedlip and tonic into my glass, and say nothing. I haven’t told anyone, yet, except partner and kids. I’m tempted to rely on candlelight, good food, Cards against Humanity and the fact she’ll be sloshed, and keep quiet.