My dental hygienist was a total cow. Never going back!

[Katherine]

Just taken my kids to the dentist.
DS (8.5) needed a filling. Was disappointed as he is very diligent about cleaning his teeth. DD1 (6) was fine but DD2 (only 3!) also needed a filling. The dentist commented on snacks and I said we didn't have much so he sent me through to the hygienist.

Well I have never been made to feel so bad. She said they must have loads of snacks and sweets. I said no. She asked what they drink. I said fruit juice (good for you!) and occassionally squash. "Oh that nasty stuff in small bottles" - no the decent stuff thanks. Then she got really nasty and said I was obviously doing something as there is no reason for kids these days to need fillings.

I commented we don't have fluoride in our water, would that make a difference and she didn't know. So I said well it must if they insist on adding it to mains services.

She was just so horrible. Said it was about time I started using disclosing tablets (I hate dyes and stuff) and she gave them to my kids. I have to say although they had missed some bits at the front they didn't look that bad but she went on and on at me about how they had really old nasty plaque in there.

I was almost in tears. I've never liked her but I've never been spoken to like that by anyone. Certainly not in front of my kids. I came out in a foul mood and shouted at my kids when they asked for sweets. Went to boots to get the disclosing tablets but couldn't find any so got even more cross. Then DD2 errupted into tears because she'd lost those stupid stickers they insist on giving them even though they always get lost.

I know I don't supervise them enough, especially the youngest and we are lucky if they get done in the mornings (but always well at night). I have no doubt I need to do more. I do feel terrible. But now I feel like I never want to go there again. My husband will have to take them for their fillings. She made me feel like such a terrible mother.

Go again in six months or whatever. Decide beforehand what will you say to her. And be firm, woman! Tell her she has no idea what your family's eating habits are and you would appreicate a less patronising tone of voice.

Tell her.

Message withdrawn

My sil is a dentist. Her dd is only five and has such bad teeth, she has already had to have decayed tooth removed. Sometimes, it's just really bad luck, and bad genes. You're doing your best Katherine, so try not to feel bad.

Both my mum and I have very soft tooth enamel and are very prone to needing fillings. My dentist once asked her mum if she was a secret polo eater because he couldn't understand why her teeth were so decayed. She isn't, so after lots of questions it turns out that as my mum eats lots of fruit it is the fruit acids that are causing her teeth to decay (coupled with the fact the enamel is softer than normal). The dentist's advice was to eat less fruit! So a good diet doesn't always equal healthy teeth. Not that I'm advocating a bad diet! Don't be too hard on yourself some kids with really crap diets will never need fillings it's just sod's law.

I would write to their practice manager about updating their interpersonal skills training. and if you can,change dentist.

WE had something similar. I didn't supervise DS2 as well as I should when DD was born (trying to sort out a baby and get the two of them ready for school, something had to give and it was watching them brush their teeth) DS eneded up needing a couple of fillings, but was so spooked by the Dentist when she tried to do it we ended up being referred to the Dental Hospital. We've been up there 4 or 5 times now (he's down as being prone to caries, so will keep going there rather than our dentist) and everytime i have the same conversation about his 'high sugar' diet. He doesn't have one, I rarely buy sweets or biscuits. Since we cracked down on the dental hygiene his teth have been fine, but oh no bad teeth brushing couldn't have caused it - I have to have been force feeding him sugar

The first time it happened I felt so guilty anyway that he made me cry, but now I just argue back Some people are just naturally arses. You aren't a terrible mother, if you were you wouldn't have bothered taking them in the first place!

Yeah, got accused of feeding Ds coke in a bottle at age 5, as only that could have caused this certain pattern of decay. Ds hated coke, and as for a bottle, wouldn't have one at 3 months, never mind 5 years

Ds now 13, and believe me the dentist is a breeze compared to orthodontist. Unless I supervise teeth cleaning (yes at age 13!) they don't get done. Have rebelled against this as feel ds is old enough not to need me....but the humiliation in the orthodontist about state of his teeth is awful. You can't win!

depends on teh mood of my dentist.

my son aged 15 nearly 16 at the time went to dentist ( along with twins) and just used mouthwash.

the dentist had a tirade - rightly - imo - about having to look inside his nasty gob - he was looking at me whilst he was going on with himself

i just smiles shrugged and said - hes a bit old for me to do it for him.

so he started on ds.

thank god the twins teeth were ok - or i would have died.

OK, first, her attitude was way off, you could complain if you wanted. Please do not feel terrible, you can turn this around.

I have 15 years dental nursing experience. I'll give you my comments on what you have written.

Fluoride WOULD make a small diiference, but it would go hand in hand with a good diet & good oral hygiene.

What do the kids eat on an average day? From breakfast to supper?

Whatever they eat there will be an acid attack on the teeth for 20 minutes after the last mounthful, which is detrimental. This attack happen each time they eat/drink.

Hidden sugars reside in all sorts of food, soup, crisps, tom sauce, baked beans. The 'decent' squash as a high amount of sugar in it. Juice has natural sugar. With all the will in the world you could not avoid sugar completely.

The three year old should still be having her teeth brushed, she simply does not have enough manual dexterity to do it herself. I can understand how she could need a filling if you are letting her brush her teeth & not helping her.

The older ones would still need some checking too.

They should be brushing in the morning. After breakfast, if they are not doing this you are allowing plaque to sit on their teeth ALL DAY. This is causing enough problems in itself.

Use the disclosing tablets, they will help. They will not do them any harm.

And the stickers are meant to help the children feel comfortable in the visit, yes, they do get lost sometimes, but this is a harmful, well meaning gesture.

Katherine I would not worry about what the hygienist said. I have had probs with my dd who is 8 now but had surgery at 4 because her molars came through with no enamel on them.

At that time surgeon said we need to brush her teeth until she is 12 as kids don't have the dexterity in their wrists to brush all over correctly.

Also juice is worse then cordiall. The natural acid in juice strips the enamel from their teeth. She said we were better off giving diluted cordials then juice.

Other thing mentioned was honeys and jams. My dd loved honey and had it daily. The natural sugars are also really bad for teeth.

It was v rude of this woman to go on at you like that but I imagine she sees some horrible things in her job and perhaps she had a few that day and took it out on you.

Thanks for all your support. Have calmed down a bit now but am still insisting that DH takes them for their fillings. Will make sure I have a speach about how important self esteem and empowerment are in changing health beviours (I have a health psychology background) ready for next time I see her. That should shut her up.

And I have made more effort with their teeth cleaning which is most likely the problem here. I do feel bad but I just think its awful the way they attack you in front of your kids. Next time I will bit back though

I agree that genetics make a difference too.

My Dh has about 3 fillings in total but can not remember his parents bothering about him cleaning his teeth and doesn't think he went ot the dentist that often as a child- every few years perhaps. I however had a mother who was fastidious about dental health and our diet and I have dozens of bloody fillings.

dp never brushes his teeth (bleurgh) and yet at 24 doesn't have a single filling. He also lived for a while on sweeties and cola.

Another friend was really careful to always brush her teeth and took really good care of them, but had a lack of something in them (had to take supplements) and had loads of fillings.

I make sure I try to take care of ds's teeth, but hopefully he's inherited the same ones as me (I don't have any fillings) and dp have got (I do brush mine btw, and floss and use mouthwash - I think I'm subconsciously making up for dp).

My DD had bad baby teeth and i always got told off my dentist. She had no enamel along bottom edge of front teeth. A friend told me this could have been caused by medicine she had before she was 12months, when she was very ill.

Her second teeth are fine.

I agree that telling you infront of your children can be hurtful. I have been there too.

what is it with hygenists?? they are so scary!

would lay off any drink other than water or milk though - fruit juice v bad for teeth.