Yesterday my mum told me she had been raped recently
I was totally shocked and it was totally out of the blue!
It happened about a year ago, it wasn't a stranger, it was someone she knew through work and whose wife she knew. He barged into her home and attacked then really hurt, then raped her, then walked out. My mum lives alone.
She never told anyone but did have to go to the doctor and get treatments and tests.
She told me yesterday, he died at the begining of the year and while in a way that made it better, as she wasn't scared of him turning up again, it also made it worse.
Since then she has been having counselling, her counsellor told her to move on she had to tell the people closest to her, so she told her sister the other week, and me yesterday and I told her best friend.
I feel confused, upset, loads of things. Mostly guilt, my mum lives 5 minutes away and I speak to her everyday, and I didn't notice anything was wrong. We are really close, I can't believe I didn't know something was wrong, I am obviously rubbish.
I knew she was off work and a bit depressed, but I thought it was because of an illness she has.
She said she tried her best to keep it from me, so not to beat myself up about not knowing, but I am, I feel I've let her down.
She also said the reason she didn't go to the police is because he was a well respected man in the community, well liked etc, and she said she wanted to protect me and my family from the rumours and talking behind our backs that would have gone on if she had reported it. I feel awful about this, if she had told me we could have got through it and dealt with anything anyone said. I wish she didn't feel she had to protect me at a time when she should have been thinking of herself, and now he's dead it's too late
Not sure what my point in posting is, I just wanted to get it down.
I have changed me name, if you know who I am please don't say!