Hi there, me again, sorry about the delay in getting back to you but I've been out and about.
I haven't totally got it under control but I'm in a totally different place to where I was last year and the difference to my day-to-day life is just fantastic! I was struggling along under a big black cloud and although I wasn't depressed, I was allowing myself to get buried under all my anxieties. This effected every element of my life (even though it was mainly concerning driving) and must have been truly draining for my incredibly patient husband. I can't think that I would have been so patient had it been the other way round! I no longer have the 'cloud' and actually I'm bursting with contentment at some point most days ... and I'm nothing special so if it's like that for me then it's probably like that for other phobics who've had some treatment too. I bet you are often really tied/exhausted too ... that'll be the 'burden' of the stress but that will lift when you start sorting it out.
Talking completely out my backside (I'm not qualified at all to say any of this by the way!), I would say that the reason you've had so many illnesses on and off over the past years is all stress relating to your phobia. You may possibly have some kind of 'agoraphobia' as I do. Agoraphobia is not actually a fear of open spaces, it is (if I've got this right) the fear of the reaction (ie. panic attack) that you get in certain situations and it is a nasty vicious circle. It is extremely common and can be treated using CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) to help you understand and overcome all the negative connotations leading to your panic attacks and to give you ways of helping yourself deal with the situations that spark you off. I had that but I also had some adrenalin suppressing tablets from the doctor to help me break the cycle of getting diarrhoea/nauseous etc. on the build up before getting into the car. I'm on these for 6 months by which time I hope to have broken the association and to carry on on my own without them.
Go back and see your GP as you (and your DH/DC) really don't have to live with all this anxiety and stress and swallowing your pride in order to help yourself get this sorted has got to be a small price to pay ... no matter how embarrassed you feel. By the way, I meant that last bit in a slightly more sensitive way then I possibly expressed it as I do understand what you are going through. Perhaps you could see another doctor if you really feel that strongly about seeing yours again? Tell him that you believe that you have an anxiety disorder which is what's been screwing you up for the past couple of years and could he please refer you to a consultant? Unless he's a complete git then I'm sure he'd be only too happy to do anything he can for you.
If you have a phobia then it's hard to come to terms with it and to understand it yourself sometimes so don't be too hard on yourself with regards to what does and doesn't stress you. You have the plane/loo thing going on which logically you know should not be a problem but it is for you at this point of time. I am a good driver (although a little on the inexperienced side) and the mad thing is that once I'm in a car then I actually quite enjoy driving BUT the build up to getting in to a car was horrific ... get that for logic!
Sorry this is so long but I hope it helps you feel more positive. I've done it, so can you