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General health

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Original poster

Medical assessment worries

27 replies

Clarkey2345 · 01/10/2015 20:50

I attended a medical assessment Tuesday on behalf of the job centre and now have to wait for a phone call from someone to let me know if they decided wether i am fit for work or if i can carry on receiving money and on top of my relationship i don't know what to do please help

OP posts:

Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 11:06

Is they any reason why no one is commenting on any of my posts on here??

OP posts:

redexpat · 04/10/2015 11:13

Well you havent given much detail. You have been assessed/reassessed for benefits which is stressful in itself. But you havent told us anything about the relationship. Is that stressful too right now? Why?

Cherrybakewells1 · 04/10/2015 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 04/10/2015 11:34

Your op isn't a relationship issue.

Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 11:46

Hi redexpat yes the relationship is stressful right now because i am currently in a domestic abuse relationship and don't have any friends or family for support as over the years he's stopped me going out with friends and family also.

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ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 04/10/2015 11:51

Is thrre anyone else you can contact for support?

Do you have children? Schoo/nursery/children's centre should be able to signpost you to someone who can support you.

Obviously without knowing your health issues, it's difficult to say, bit could your health /employment situation be improved by getting away from him?

Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 11:56

Hi Cherrybakewells1 i am new to mumsnet so not sure what posts go where to be honest.

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Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 12:01

Hi ThisIsStillFolkGirl there is woman's aid who are very supportive but unless i leave him and go into refuge there's isn't a lot they can do to help me, yes i do have children but they aren't in my care at the moment so that's very hard for me also.
I have anxiety/depression at the moment so wouldn't feel able to work at the moment as i am on medication for my depression/anxiety and have regular GP visits to discuss how my medication is helping me, also my partner is also checking up on me so that would making working very difficult for me.

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Cherrybakewells1 · 04/10/2015 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redexpat · 04/10/2015 12:09

Ah. Yes that does make things harder. Can you tell us why you dont want to go into a refuge? It might not be a particularly nice first step, but it would only be one step. It wouldnt be permanent.

Please wipe your internet history if your dp is checking up on you.

Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 12:33

Hi CherryBakewells1 I know there are so many things on this website i don't really know what posts are meant to go where

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ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 04/10/2015 12:33

I wondered if your health issues were going to be depression/anxiety related. I'm on medication for anxiety/depression and work full time in a very stressful job. It can be done if everything else is sorted.

Are your children not with you because of him? Assuming you still have PR/contact, the school should still be able to work with you to signpost you.

Is there a reason why you won't go into a refuge? They're not a longterm solution, just a means of getting away from him.

Sorry for the questions, just trying to understand.

If you were able to get away from him, would he be able to find out where you were/worked?

There is a way out of this, you just can't see it at the moment.

Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 12:34

Hi redexpat because of my anxiety going into refuge with stranger would be difficult for me even though they have people there to chat with you, my partner cannot use my phone and also i have a phone lock so he cannot get into my phone only myself.

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Duggee · 04/10/2015 12:37

Can you give more details so we can help? What are your medical problems? Why are you children not in your care? Why won't you go to a refuge temporarily?

If you answer those we could help a little more

Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 12:41

ThisIsStillFolkGirl i am on medication at the moment but it's not working so i have another appointment with my GP to discuss my medication, no the reason my children aren't with me isn't because of him there are other reasons.
Due to my anxiety/depression i cannot go into refuge, yes he knows where my family live so would be difficult to leave if i am honest.
I have read a lot of stories on here and also a website called hidden hurt forum are also great to use, had brilliant advice from the ladies on there and also there are stories on there written by ladies who have been in domestic abuse relationships and managed to leave there violent partners with help and support.

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Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 12:43

Hi Duggee the answers for yours questions are in the posts i have just posted on here if you would like to have a read through

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ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 04/10/2015 13:19

Clarkey there are people who can help you, and there is a wealth of support here. But even with the support here and people/agencies in rl, you are the person who has to do this and make the change.

Difficult, yes. Impossible? No.

Remember that even a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. It's about finding the courage to take it.

Itisbetternow · 04/10/2015 13:34

Hello OP. I think you should ask for your title to be changed as there is a lot of help on here but peeps will not realise what help you need from your title. I think if you report the post Mumsnet can amend the title is you want. Keep strong.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 04/10/2015 13:39

That's a good idea, itisbetternow

Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 14:45

ThisIsFolkGirl yes your right only me leaving him can change anything in the relationship.

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Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 14:47

Itisbetternow as said before as i am new to this mumsnet i don't know how to change the title to somewhere else.

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Walkacrossthesand · 04/10/2015 14:53

Hi clarkey, if you click on the bottom of one of your posts (there's 3 dots on my phone, don't know about otger formats) and click the 'report post' and 'other reason' options & ask MNHQ to look at thread and edit the title, that should do it.

Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 15:15

I have reported the post and asked it to be put in the right section on mumsnet

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redexpat · 04/10/2015 15:48

So going to a place with strangers is out. Is there any way you could meet someone from the refuge before you leave? I dont know if that's possible.

You say he has isolated you from friends. Could you contact any of them again to see if they could help? They might have other things going on, but they might not and might be able to help. Does he know where they all live?

Original poster

Clarkey2345 · 04/10/2015 16:09

I think you can meet with the people from woman's aid you can pop into there local office for a chat, no he doesn't know where any of my friends live and to be honest i don't really have any friends because i haven't been out to make any.

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