Bladder issues and anxiety - please help

[Needinghelp1]

Whatever this is is just ruining my life.

I have quite severe anxiety problems and now a bladder problem.

I get the urge to go to the loo for a wee and I just have to go. It's at inopportune moments when I'm in a conversation with someone or at a meeting at work and I'm then filled with terror at the prospect of wetting myself.

It's so embarrassing and has taken hold of my life. I am off work at the moment from the job I love and can't see me going back.

It's ruining my social life and just life in general.

I can't see this resolving. I have tried to battle through as I have done before with anxiety but it's just not working.

Very slight leakage has occurred in these 'attacks'.

Any message of hope for a cure or advice would be so much appreciated.

I have had a scan of my bladder and although I don't have the results yet the person conducting it said she saw no cause for concern.

I can't go on like this.

I have a very weak bladder. If I know there won't be a toilet, like on a bus journey I literally don't drink anything for hours before hand. It's the only way I can be sure I won't be caught short. Then I end up dehydrated and with headaches.

It's not nice.

I'm an extreme case, as am coming up to 6 weeks post op from having my bladder removed due to overactivity and hypersensitivity.

However, there are lots of medications out there that can help, and other treatments that aren't too invasive.

You need to have urodynamics tests to diagnose overactivity, a scan won't do it. Dr may prescribe you tablets, if these work great. If not push for urodynamics to find out what's going on.

Oh God Ilovefluffy! Are you okay? I hope so. How long has it been going on and what symptoms did you have?

What will you do going forward?

In the short term you just need TENA products, they will stop you being so scared of leaking. Then you need to talk to the GP since it depends exactly what the bladder issue is. Over the years I have had drugs to ease bladder over-sensitivity which helped, then eventually a vaginal sling to support the bladder (surgical procedure. It worked.) Apparently duloxetine (an anti-depressant) is also good for urgency problems and might help with your anxiety too? I hope you find a solution soon, I know it's not a nice problem to have.

Hi Needinghelp,

I have your exact same problem! I expect it's nice to know there's someone else in the same boat - I felt like a total fruit loop when it happened to me, and was far too embarrassed to tell anyone about it. It developed about five years ago - I was in a meeting at work, and realised I needed the loo. But, for some reason, I developed an overwhelming terror I was going to wet myself, and from then on it just spiralled. I felt like I couldn't work, couldn't go anywhere, as I didn't know when the problem would strike. I'd love to tell you there's a permanent cure, but sadly, I haven't found one yet. What has helped, massively, was a) getting antidepressants, specifically Citalopram which is good for anxiety, and b) having Cognitive Behavoural Therapy (CBT). It was great seeing the therapist, she told me she was seeing several people for the same problem! I had never heard of this issue, but apparently it's quite common. She gave me coping techniques for anxiety, trying to stop the spiralling, and gradually it has got far more manageable. Literally, when it first struck I couldn't travel on the tube, had to leave the house wearing TenaLady, was literally shaking at the prospect of meetings at work. Often the anticipation of the event is worse than the reality. The therapist told me that it would likely always be an anxiety issue for me, but my life is so much better. I still have difficulties with situations where I feel 'trapped', like on planes, at the cinema, even very occasionally still at work if I'm having a conversation with someone. This is where your anxiety management techniques come into play, so I would really recommend starting CBTas soon as you can, There is unlikely to be a physical problem as it is an anxiety symptom - I think it's so unfortunate that feeling anxious can make you need the loo, when it's needing the loo that makes you anxious in the first place! A vicious circle.

Sorry to have blathered on at length, it's so rare you find someone who admits to the same problem. Thoug oddly enough, I plucked up the courage to tell my best friend about it, and she told me she suffered the same! So I think it's far more common than people realise. It will get better, though I know it is absolute hell when you are in the grips. PM me if you want

I'm ok thank you needinghelp. Massive op and I still have a long way to go. As I said, mine was an extreme case, they don't just go whipping bladders out from everyone!

I've had it all my life. Called a weak bladder when I was a child, used to go out of lessons to the loo. Started seeking help when I was 18. Medications didn't work, had a couple of kids, got worse as I got older. I has to ask for a second opinion, as my pct at the time were rubbish. I did some research and got referred to university college hospital, london, which is a national centre for urology.

My symptom was frequency, that was it. But the frequency I was going took over my life. I had big surgery last year designed to cure it. Unfortunately it left me with 24 hour a day sensation of being desperate to go, which as I'm sure you can imagine was horrific!

Only route left open was removal. Whilst recovery is hard, I haven't needed a wee since my op at the end of July. I can't tell you how amazing that feels! I have a new bladder made out of bowel, and a catheter channel made of appendix that goes through my belly button to my new bladder. I will go to the toilet by passing a catheter through the channel, so wee standing up!

I am actually back in hospital tomorrow for them to test my new bladder has healed, then remove the bags and tubes and learn the new process. Am a bit nervous, but excited to be getting my life back.

Thank you SO much everyone and thank you so, so much Boite.

This is exactly the problem to a tea - exactly it.

I'm totally fine at home - it's out in the world it strikes. I was battling through at work until there was an important meeting and honestly I just freaked and left. It's such a shame as I love my job.

Boite did you have any time off? Il on sick leave and just won't be able to face going back until this is resolved as I'm in an open office and I'm 'holding' myself all day and going to the loo 60+ times. I hate being off but as you all will understand it's literally hell.

I do have the odd slight leak but nothing alarming. It's this 'I need to go NOW' in meeting and when talking to people that's the worse. I'm sure some has come out on occasion which obv adds to the terror.

I even feel as though I have wet myself.

It's so odd and depressing.
X

Sheep I'm so sorry about the op that went wrong but your new op sounds so amazing and I'm really happy you feel like you're getting your life back.

Do you mind me asking how old you all are? I'm early 30s. Two DC.

Has made me feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one x

Also Boite did you ever see yourself?

Wee!

Yes, I'm perfectly ok at home as well (apart when I succumb to major panics and think it's going to take over my life at home too, but that passes). I never took any time off work, though with hindsight perhaps I should have, but I was determined to not let it stop me doing anything, even though I put myself through massive stress achieving this. I found setting myself little goals often helped, like I would wait one whole hour before going to the loo again, and when I managed it I was so pleased. It's also key not to beat yourself up about it too much if you 'fail' which was another thing I did loads. It doesn't help and you need to be kind to yourself. After I started on the antidepressants the anxiety spiralled less, and after a couple of months I didn't need to wear pads any more (the first time is always the worst!), I would let myself drink if I was out and about - because realistically it doesn't matter if you drink or not, does it? You'll feel exactly the same stress because it's all in your head. It's so hard to ignore though, isn't it - the physical urge is so strong and so visceral. You feel like the urine will just leak out anyway, which physically it can't. So sorry you are experiencing this too. It's a bummer.

That is it. You absolutely have it to a tea.

Thank you so much for your answer.

I had severe anxiety issues after both DCs and I felt exactly like you in terms of it not stopping me doing anything. Even to my detriment, like you say.

It's almost like with this relapse I don't have the courage and strength to face the battle again - does that make sense?

I'm conscious I'm off on the sick as I'm not that kind of person (who is I suppose). I've been off just over a week but if I were to head back in I don't want to then need to run out again. I want it sorting - or improved.

I've been diagnosed with anxiety disorder which I've had before - and GP said he'd heard of the issue before. It's all about 'loss of control' which is what my anxiety has centred on in the past.

So interesting to 'chat'.

Yes to Tena lady too! So similar. Even had DH drop them off at work one day as I was just convinced without I'd have an accident.

Sorry, have moved from ipad to computer as can type better and actually see what people reply! No I never did wee myself, though I think I came close on a few occasions . Are you sure you actually have? Because sometimes I was convinced I had, but when I checked there was nothing there. It all adds to the stress though, doesn't it! I found it helpful to remind myself how the bladder works, it won't open unless you contract the muscle, its default position is 'shut', so when you feel you have to 'hold it in' you really don't need to. But when you're in a panic it's hard to remember, I know!

How long have you had this problem for, and what are you doing to try and help? BTW I'm mid-30s with no DC - my DH and I are thinking about maybe having some and I feel like I'll have to have a caesarian as I don't want to do anything to damage my bladder and make it worse stupid, I know...

Sorry, keep cross-posting! Interesting that your GP knew about it - I'm sure mine though I was crazy! 'Loss of control' is just right, I think that is the underlying fear. That and shame - I even saw a hypnotherapist about it, and he was the one that brought that up, and I think it is a fear of shaming yourself in public.

One thing that helped with work was that I told then I had anxiety problems, but didn't specify what. Just that I had 'panic attacks' and sometimes needed to leave a room if I felt trapped. That way you have an 'out' of a difficult situation, but no one knows the exact reason why.

It's odd as I never had anxiety problems before this - had suffered from depression about 10 years before, but never anxiety, it was a total bolt from the blue.

Sometimes yes a small 'streak' has come out but I'm not sure if this has been to do with the panic attack or if it's normal slight leakage that can come after having two DCs!

In fact I think I've always had a very slight leak think but I've never been bothered - and now with this everything is totally amplified!

I analyse every little sensation. Do you do that too? But only at work or in a social situation.

It's a shame as I can't have the AD - had a bad reaction to them in the past. But I do know when I have a glass of wine the problem disappears so if there was something that could chill me out a bit it would help. After Googling I know some women have used antihistamine!

I have this, it started on my first day of university last year when I felt trapped in a row of about 30 people, I was bang in the middle and desperate for a wee. I now realise that I had a panic attack and it developed to not drinking before travelling and excessive toilet trip's when I was away from home 'just in case'. Being on placement as a student nurse has helped me immensely as we have to hold our bladders, this and recognising the signals of a panic attack and using distraction techniques and calm breathing has really helped me.

I'm 40 (just!). Got a 17 and 16 year old.

Needinghelp - that's a shame about the anti-d's, I've found wine very helpful too . I drink a lot on flights. Never tried antihistamines, maybe I'll give it a go. Over analysis is a killer, I'm sure that's what triggers me in meetings, waiting for a symptom!

Portly - I would have thought that being a nurse and knowing you have told hold it in would make it worse?! That's a nightmare scenario for me. Recognising the symptoms and distraction techniques have been very useful for me too though, sometimes I play word games in my head.

I've just had a horrible experience picking DS up. I was literally hopping from foot to foot with the certainty I'd wee myself. It's absolutely horrendous and I'm at a complete loss. Bladder scan was clear.

I couldn't really worked out if anything 'escaped' as if walked for a good forty mins there are back so it was a bit sweaty - so sorry if that's TMI. Really gutted.

Sorry to hear that it's so crap isn't it? Though I'm a lot better than I used to be, I had a bad episode a couple of weeks ago when I took the dog to the vet - I could barely focus on what she was telling me as I was so panicked, she must have thought I was really rude . Was there nowhere you could nip to the loo? I used to hate asking people, but have got over myself a bit now - eventually I asked the vet could I go and there was no problem! Have lost a lot of my embarrassment about that. Do your kids know about your issue? That's another thing that worried me about having kids - having to do things for them and having this panic, and not wanting to pass it on...

My DS is four and just kind of hooking into the fact his mum goes to the toilet A LOT.

It's just so weird. At home now and totally fine. It's like in the midst that I am actually having an accident and I can feel the wet sensations. It's so horrible as you know.

Yep I'm coming across as rude a lot at the moment and I'm such a social person usually - people will think 'what the hell is wrong with her?'

I was pacing around the playground, not able to focus on task at hand. I was even considering adult nappies on way home

Does it feel physical with you in an attack Boite?

I think I like have asked to use the loo but I don't want it to become a 'thing'. I'm back to feeling the same straight after too in that situation I'm finding.

Lo and behold when I got home after the 40 min round trip I did need a very small wee. That's all.