WHAT CAN I DO?!?!?!!??!!

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yes, its a name change because its such an embarressing topic. I've been sexually active for 5 years now, but never had an orgasm. it never bothered me till this year. why can't i get it. i never did. i'm feeling rather stupid asking this, but its the only place i know i can ask without anyone knowing who i am. please no one make fun as i've started to feel depressed about it lately. what can i do?!?!!?

get a mirror and have a play yourself and work out what does it for you, especially fiddling around with your clitoris

have you ever tried using a vibrator?

No but is it not possible to orgasm with your partner through normal intercourse?!

try pelvic floor exercises!

so, basically the answer is no, its normal not to unless i do exercise (for how long)?
thanks everyone who's replied

not many people can orgasm through intercourse apparently. ive only managed that a couple of times and its pretty explosive!

depends what you mean by 'normal intercourse'.
I have had only one orgasm through penetration but orgasm perfectly with other forms of stimulation.

it is possible but sometimes different positions work better than others and if you are thinking about it all the time when doing it then it prob wont happen, i would experiment with yourself a bit first get to know what you like and where its nice to be touched, i think a vibrator might be usefull if all else fails not just for penetration purposes but to stimulate your clitoris with the vibration

agree with buktus, and once youve learnt what your body likes you can bring yourself to the point of orgasm THEN let your partner hump you and hopefully enjoy a joint orgasm.

it wont happen overnight though but you will enjoy trying

7up
normal as in, you know, penetration from whatever position. what other stimulents are there? the clit, but that doesn't work either (i feel abnormal sometimes )
the vib is a thought, but wanted with my partner

does oral do it for you or not?

oh its only happenend twice in my whole life the joint orgasm thingy so not much to be jealous about. thinking about it i think it probably happened when both my boys were conceived

when you say the clit doesnt work, do you mean you dont get any joy at all from having a play (god this is embarassing)?

it only happens for me when im on top as well

eeek

Can't even be bothered to namechange. I've only ever managed it once about five years ago- like you sometimes feel a bit abnormal because none of the stuff people usually recommend works for me. I know this doesn't help you, but you're not alone. Several good friends admit that they rarely orgasm either.

I enjoy sex, but the big 'O' is completely elusive.

Didn't really start until "got to know myself" a little better, now mostly too tired with DD but does work better when I'm on top!

Take some time out on your own ime, dh/dp will be grateful when you can show him what you like even if it isn't the big O (IME)

are you setting yourself up properly? I mean, if you are worrying about it happening then it probably won't happen. Can you think of something that turns you on or read a book that gets you going and then errrr try a bit of DIY? If you can do it to yourself, you'll probably feel a bit more confident about getting dp to do it.

You need NQC really, she's good at this sort of thing,

Oh god, very few women orgasm through intercourse alone. 30%? Something like this. Please don't feel guilty about it! Guilt isn't conducive to having sexual fun, anyway.

From what I know about anorgasmia, your best option is to first work out how to manage it on your own, and then you can help your partner learn how to do it, iyswim.

For most women, direct or indirect clitoral stimulation is the key. For some women, vibration in that area is good.

There is, of course, the possibility that you are having orgasms without realising it. I'm serious - some women who believe they are orgasmic, are having orgasms, but not finding the event as impressive as all the press indicates.

(You might also want to try reading porn to get yourself in the mood? Or do whatever works for you ... but relax, enjoy yourself, and see what happens.)

crikey, what a blardy let down that would be - to find out you've been having orgasms all the time but they weren't as mind blowing as you thought they'd be

Well, presumably you could then work on making them better? More build up, maybe?

Still, yeah, that does depress me.

I have certainly, um, met some blokes for whom orgasms were a bit, "meh", a lot of the time.