How can I support my friend through chemo

[NotdeadyetBOING]

A dear friend of mine is about to start chemo and will be staying with us while she recovers after each round. I have heard that everyone reacts v. differently, but just wondered if anyone could give me any tips for things that might be helpful (or deeply unhelpful). TIA.

Don't panic if the 'plan' doesn't go exactly to plan - it never usually does.

Very small portions of food/nibbles are much more appealing than main meals. Taste is often affected.

If nausea is a problem ask for stronger anti-emetics; ondansetron and cyclizine.

Do not use corsodyl for chemo-induced sore mouth; mugard and gengigel are much better. Caphosol is useful too. If eating is very painful it's very slightly beneficial to put a small amount of oil on food such as soup, mashed potatoes etc as it doesn't stick to your mouth quite as much.

Relaxation by whatever means (except alcohol) is important. And a quick turn outside. Melatonin tablets are usefulfor getting off to sleep at night and are very safe. Milk thistle tablets help to tolerate chemo (slightly too) - very safe - they have been trialled on children receiving chemo for leukemia.

There are lots of very safe nutritional supplements made by nutritionists working with oncologists available.

If your friend is getting a platinum based drug s/he will become very sensitive to the cold especially on the hands, feet and nose/mouth. Gloves, hot drinks, comfy socks/slippers.

A low dose of steroids is often given for part of each cycle - this results in being hyper then having a bit of a crash when it stops!

It's totally acceptable to shout rude things at the telly when ads for cancer charities involving super-cheery heroic types running marathons while having chemo come on

Hand-washing is more effective than using anti-bacterial hand gels.

Supportive relationships; whether it be friends/partners/colleagues/family are known to be a factor in improving the outcome of treatment for cancer.

A huge thank you Rogue. Tons of really helpful stuff there. I really appreciate it as want to support her as best I can. One quick question on food: Someone told me that eating v. v.healthily (to the extent that anyone can tolerate food) is NOT a good idea as it will feed the tumour. Counter-intuitive, but super foods etc. should be avoided until the chemo is over - after which you obviously eat super well. Would you agree with that/is it something you have heard?

I have heard that. I'm not a nutritionist or medic, but my understanding (from having had chemo and doing a little bit of research into complementary therapies) is that super healthy eating and nutritional supplements such as anti-oxidants will not 'feed the tumour' or interfere with the effect of the chemo. They might have a slightly protective effect on the healthy cells.

I took a mushroom supplement which is supposed to help the immune system recover more quickly but had to have the dose of chemo reduced quite early on as my 'bloods' were too low for the full dose, but I have a funny immune system anyway (multiple food intolerances and chronic fatigue)

My oncologist was happy for me to take supplements but I think it varies from consultant to consultant. A nutritionist (not a dietician) would probably be happy to advise.

You might like to google the Budwig diet.

Also green tea, turmeric and reishi mushrooms. Ideally your friend should probably avoid refined sugar but Tbh if her mouth is sore and/or her appetite is fragile or her sense of taste goes awol the motivation to eat super-healthily can get squashed.

Shark cartilage is not worth bothering about btw.

I got quite paranoid about avoiding infections but everyone is different in their approach. Sometimes, 'rebelling' against being super-cautious and sensible is probably good for the immune system too!

One thing I found is that there's usually a lot of waiting around at hospitals for blood tests, appointments, prescriptions etc. There's no point getting het up about delays or hoping that everything will run to schedule so that you can do something at a fixed time. If I was sitting beside anyone who was complaining about the waiting I'd excuse myself and go and wait somewhere else! I used to 'use' the time to think about things, send texts, doze, people watch, flick through magazines etc.

But I couldn't stand reading about superwomen who had worked fulltime throughout their treatment despite being exhausted etc etc blah blah. Good for them. But I didn't feel the need to push myself for the sake of it. There were times when I made myself go out as I knew I'd feel the benefit of being safely inside again and a couple of events I was determined to go to come what may, but everyone has their own way of coping.

Also, I don't know which cancer your friend is having treatment for, but I used to get irrationally fed up of hearing about breast cancer (mine wasn't breast cancer).

The medics won't prescribe your friend more chemo than she can cope with.

It is so kind of you to share your experiences. I think the way you choose to handle the inevitable waits sounds very wise. No point stressing & wasting energy on things you can't change anyway.

My friend is in the breast cancer camp actually. She has tested positive for the BRACA gene so is having to do the full bilateral mastectomy & ovary removal after the chemo. I have read about turmeric, green tea and mushrooms, but was wondering about that whole 'feed the tumour' thing. Interesting what you say. Felt counterintuitive to deliberately eat badly.

Delighted to say I haven't heard any tales of superwomen charging through it without missing a board meeting…… Good to know that such stories can do the rounds, though. Hugely unhelpful, as you say rather like all the tales of women sailing through labour without so much as a paracetamol

Oncologists dont go in much for the 'feed the tumour' hypothesis, it's more of an alternative thing. In general they are much keener for you to feed yourself with whatever makes you happy and keeps your weight stable despite the nausea etc as if you are strong, you can tolerate the chemo better and finish the course which is your best bet for getting rid of the cancer. And there are no superfood really, that's just marketing hype.

I'd suggest you take your cue from your friend - some people really like support with alternative diets etc and some just want to switch off and talk about something other than the cancer for a while.