Gynaecologist talked down to me and made me cry

[Ohla19]

I had a hospital appointment yesterday with the gynaecologist.

First of all I had a long wait, It's only a small department and I seen people that came when my app was due getting there appointment before me and I was just sitting there thinking have they forgot about me?

I finally got called and went in which she then told me that I shouldn't have been in that department and that she doesn't know why I was there? I had seen her before and she had done a cold coagulation as I was experiencing bleeding during intercourse so she done that but I had brought my partner that time which she said he wasn't allowed in the room and another gynaecologist before had said I had signs of HPV.

This time she kept talking down to me like it was my fault that I showed up for the appointment like the letter had said and it felt like she was blaming me and talking to me in a horrible tone saying that there had been a miscommunication by this stage I burst in to tears as all the waiting and just wanting to know why I don't know what's wrong with me? then she says "was it something I said?" I couldn't help but cry as I've been worrying about this app as I've had two smears that were refused and a biopsy that came back inconclusive then they discharged me! I was refused smears before as I was 19 but i've been 20 for months and my local GP's nurse isn't trained to do smears, after all this she said she'd have a look then told me It looked healthy so I went back in to the toilet to get my things on and when I came out she said she could do a smear so I had to go back in to take my things off by this time I felt sick as one minute she's telling me i'm all healthy then the next?

I just feel frustrated and when I had been in the waiting room I had seen a notice saying there was a study for women with heavy periods and that there were treatments for this and to ask the gynaecologist for more information when I mentioned this after her telling me it was pretty much a waste of time me being there she just went "this department doesn't deal with this" making me feel even more stupid..my partner told me I should complain as he seen how upset she made me feel but I don't think anything would come of it as she's above me..

This is awful, I am so sorry you had such a bad experience If you can cope with it, then I absolutely think you should contact PALS to make a complaint. It is awful that you were treated so badly and it sounds like your overall care has been poor too. Did you get the results of the smear test yet?

This is unacceptable, and the hospital should have a clear complaints process for you to follow.

Even if there has been a mix up of some sort, that isn't your fault and is absolutely no reason for you to feel talked down to.

Was this a colposcopy appointment?

I had to ask when I found find out my results of my smear which took me courage to do as by this point It felt like I had took enough of her time and she told me 4/5 weeks :(

That sounds a fairly standard time for the result to come back. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry in this time.

By the way, she is paid to see you, it is what her job is about. So you didn't waste her time at all.

The receptionist took the letter which they don't usually do but she was on the phone and just kept it which I wish I had been able to keep for details but I know the doctors name and typed it in to google to make sure and she comes under as a Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist.

I agree with others. An already stressful appointment made worse by the way you were treated. It doesn't cost to have manners but they was she treated you could risk your health (by you not going back etc)

Can I complain or is it just silly? I live in Scotland but wouldn't want to complain direct to hospital?

It's not silly. If you did something in your job that upset someone (even inadvertently) you would want to know about it, wouldn't you? If you don't give feedback - and you could call it that, rather than a complaint - then the doctor won't know that you were so upset, and probably won't think to change her approach in the future. Think of it as benefitting other patients as much as yourself, if that helps you justify writing the letter