Medised overuse

[enolagay]

Hi all i am new to this and i joined to get your opinion because i am so worried. I am pretty sure that i am overusing medised. My baby has always been a akward sleeper and i have a very impatient husband. She is one now and there hasn't been a night when she has slept through. I tried to talk to other mums, but to be met with blank faces as their little treasures sleep from seven till seven every night.
I work full time, i had too as finacially i cant do part time work, but i have found a briliant nursery which i am extremely happy about.
the problem is this because bedtime is a hasstle, my husband always insists on using medised to get my baby to sleep. The most we use is about 1ml, If we don't use it we will be awake about five times. As it is i am only getting four hours sleep stints.
I have tried evrything- GF, bedtime routines- which we still follow, but she still wakes up about twice or three times.
Please don't think i am a bad mother because i love my baby so much but does anyone know of any long term effects and has any one know of any advice of how i can come off medised?

Enola if you want to look at alternative ways of helping your child to sleep and stay asleep look here for lots of ideas. It is really normal for children this age not to sleep through and I am sorry your friends have given you a different idea. IME people with good sleepers talk about it a lot - people whose children wake up a lot are embarrassed to mention it - so we all get the idea that everyone's child except ours has slept through from 6 weeks.

I am glad you've asked for help here - this stage is tough if you are not getting enough sleep - but it does pass and as you know yourself, using Medised is not the answer.

Enolagay.
I can't believe all the bad comments on this thread, you are only doing your best. It doesn't help when you don't have a very supportive partner (I know how you feel).
I had used medised for the last 2 weeks with my ds as he had a very bad cold and he slept through every night so it is tempting to keep on using it. I have stopped for the last 2 nights and he has woken in the night but that is to be expected.
Just stop using it and see how your dd gets on without it, there is no harm in using it when she has a cold so keep it in the cupboard just in case.
My ds loves having teddys to cuddle at night and this helps him sleep better.
Anyway, I hope you get on ok and believe that you are a good mother, you know what is best for your child and you wouldn't have asked for help if you weren't! .

If she keeps it in the cupboard the chances are her 'impatient' husband will drug the child.

You know the answer you don't need to ask for advice.

I have been using aromotherapy, my friend mixed this sleep blend for my dc. Have been using it for 2 weeks and they haven't woken. One was getting night time terrors and the other was suffering from teething.

I would always try to use a natural therapy before using drugs. I can always pass her number onto you, (she isn't expensive)? My husband was really sceptical about it but he has been amazed by the effects.

Your Dc needs to learn how to go to sleep and settle themselves in the night when they wake. At a year old I do not think that having to get up a few times a night is that bad, I can remember being camped on the floor beside DD's cot some nights - and yes I was working too! But that is what having children is all about in the early days.

Perhaps you would be better asking your HV to refer you to a sleep councellor just so they can assess your situation with a fresh pair of eyes.

And I do use Medised, but only when my DD has a sympton it is recommended for. And yes it does help her to sleep - but it is a short-term solution to a short-term problem.

I really suggest you get some professional help if the situation is as bad as you say - but I think you'll find you're not alone and you and your DH will have to accept this is part of the joys of having children. And patience is a virtue!

Sorry to be so harsh - but the memory of lying on the floor next to the cot, holding my DD's hand while she went back to sleep, gradully edging closer to the door, with nothing more to keep me warm over me other than DH's dressing gown is one that I will recall for may years, and if I can do it, so can you!

Well, i felt terrible yesterday after al the comments. I did take some advice and asked a neursey worker for some strageties she suggested controlled crying and some other helpful suggestions, but as she know me well she has tole me to do it when i am having a brak from work (which i will be soon).
Last night there was no Medised, as a result i have had 4 hours sleep. Trying to act professional on this little sleep is very tough and i am making mistakes all over the place. Will it ever get better?

i'm sorry if i sounded harsh...just sounded quite extreme to me,. i shouldn't have been so quick off the mark

it will get better.. absolutely....it will take some time though..but it will happen....you are not alone with having a baby not sleeping through and there is lots of good advice on here for non -sleeping babies ( and mums )

Hi, here's a copy/paste of something I posted on a sleep thread a while ago - it's a summary of how we did controlled crying, it's horrible but it did work (slept through for first time age 1):

this is what we did:

crying starts. set kitchen timer for 1 min. go in to child's room. stroke child's head or pat tummy or whatever, saying softly oh dear, poor you, time to sleep etc, then leave room. set timer for 2 mins. back into room, same thing. timer for 4 mins, back in for same again. then we made it up depending on how strong we were feeling, 6 mins, 8 mins, don't think we could ever stomach more than 10 mins.

the rules we had were: no picking up, never staying in the room more than about 30 secs, only talk softly (eventually ds got the message to be quiet if he wanted to hear).

from memory it took less than a week. was horrible, cried loads, but so so worth it in the long run.

enolagay you have my total sympathy 4 hours sleep must be awful. but you are doing the right thing. is she getting enough calories during the day to sleep through the night is she waking up hungry? my 7 year old still will wake up in the night hungry every couple of months if he does not eat very much that day. In fact I have had 5 hours sleep as he was not feeling well, it is horrible. maybe if she eats more in the day and does not have a long nap and is stimulated in the nursery by moving around alot burning energy. Is hard for mee to think of things as my son did not sleep thorugh the night untill a year old and then not always, but I had him in bed with me so was not as tiring, that way. controoled crying might be difficult is the dh is not very patient as I could not stand it. i just had my ds in bed with me and fed him up during the day

As with Lulamuma - apologies for the harshness, but your DH in particular needs to stop being imaptient. Things will get better - remind yourself by the time she is a teenager you will be prising her out of bed.

Things that worked for me were staying and calmimg DD then gradulay leaving the room - not to be tried at the same time as controlled crying else it confuses them. A ceiling projector that shone pictures for her to watch, and a night light. We also had a few play centres in and around the cot for her to amuse herself with as she dropped off. Basically we made her cot, and room as nice and welcoming as possible.

hello enolagay,

i haven't read much of the thread, but i was thinking about it last night a little. I doubt 1ml would have much effect in sending your baby to sleep (mine don't sleep better when they have a full dose when they are ill) so I wonder if it is your attitude that changes the bedtime routines for you. That when you have given her her meds you are calm when putting her to sleep as in your mind she will go sleep, but the thought of not giving it to her makes you panic as "she definatly won;t sleep"etc and thus gives rise to you being stressed and baby sensing that?

I hope you can find a solution and that your husband realises that babies don't always sleep when you want them to (or indeed any number of other things!)

hth

Enola Gay is a Smiths song too btw.

WE fell into the Medised "trap" for 3 weeks or so when dd had a terrible cold which kept her waking 3/4 times a night. Medised sedated her just enough to send her back to sleep - also cleared her nose brilliantly.

I dreaded the night whenI knew she was better and I didn't need to give her the Medised and sure enough she had forgotten how to fall asleep without the sedation. We had a week or so of unhappy dd and then she was fine and sleeping reasonably well.

I had a thread on going cold turkey a while back but I'm not sure where to start looking.

I think this is a genuine post FWIW and I'm sorry the OP has had such a lynching

Get the sleep problem sorted - it may take several nights but it's possible - honest

Doh - I mean OMD - too young for 80s music really

Tell the nursery to note the times and for how long she is asleep and ask them to not let her sleep for so long - that will help.

I've just got to say, I can't believe how mean people can be!!! Somebody comes on here for help, advice and at least some comforting words and all they get is suspicion and a public lynching!!! Shocked! We've all been there with problems with sleepless nights- it is sooooooo difficult to handle. I was a single mum, working 45 hours a week and I fell into the phenergan trap after some well meant advice from a relative but I was so desperate that i would have tried anything! I used it for 2 nights enjoyed blissful sleep but the guilt was astounding so I stopped. But if you are trying to cope with a mean ununderstanding partner that is almost worse than being alone!! And its so easy to do something just for a quiet life. I would advice enolagay, if she ever bothers with this site again!, to speak to her health visitor and get some advice from someone who won't judge, will understand and actually help.

BTW my daughter is 3 now and sleeps through every night after 2 years of waking up 3-4 times a night. there is light at the end of the tunnel. x much love x