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**Tamoxigang 53** Roll up, roll up... Anyone with any cancer (or test-waiting) welcome!

990 replies

MarthaCostello · 18/07/2015 23:19

Good evening all,

The old thread had nearly run out when I posted so I have taken the liberty of starting a new one before it fills up completely.

I hope the title is OK - there isn't actually that much room, I was trying to fit in that people should come along even if they haven't been diagnosed yet.

If you're new here welcome to the Tamoxigang thread. This is a great place for anyone with any type of cancer (it originally started out as those taking Tamoxifen for breast cancer, hence the name, but has expanded). Please introduce yourself and make yourself comfortable! You're more than welcome here if you haven't been diagnosed yet too, sometimes people find it helpful to talk through their fears whilst waiting for results. And we will hold your hand until you find out, and hopefully wave you on your way with an all-clear :) Flowers

There is almost always someone around to chat, or to answer any questions. Nothing is off-limits here. This is somewhere to offload any fears and frustrations, in a safe place where someone will have been there before.

I hope everyone has been enjoying the gorgeous summery weather Flowers

OP posts:
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royalmama · 28/10/2015 15:33

Lavender, sorry about your cousin. As mrs said, it could be one of those cases where the risks of surgery become a reality. hope she is better soon.
Marshy, sciatica is such a bother. I got it when pregnant with DS2. I lost if afterwards but have had restless leg syndrome since then:(
Hope your DD coming over cheers you up big time.

LavenderRain · 28/10/2015 16:04

Thanks for your kind words royalmama and
marshy sciatica sounds a real pain, I hope it gets better soon,
I bet you can't wait for DD to come home from uni, my DD has just left home, we've still got 2 DC here but it's very odd without her.
I have just heard that my cousin has some drains in place that she will need to be discharged with Sad

Thanks for you both

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 28/10/2015 18:03

Lavender sorry to hear about your cousin, I hope she improves soon.

Being discharged with drains seems to be fairly standard for breast ops, most people seem to have them removed within a week or so, so hopefully they won't be a long-term annoyance! :)

fresta I hope you are feeling better today, take it easy Flowers

Waving to everyone else Star

StormyLovesOdd · 28/10/2015 21:17

Hi - I have been lurking and doing lots of reading for a couple of days after being pointed here by a few people.

I am waiting for results from my biopsy after the clinic found 4 lumps in my breast. The consultant warned me on Monday that he is 99% sure it is cancer. I get the results on Friday.

The waiting is horrendous, I feel totally floored.

LavenderRain · 28/10/2015 21:52

stormy so sorry to hear of someone else going through this
Thanks for you. The waiting is the worst. I can vouch that you will get lots of support on this thread.
Have you got support in RL? It can be a lonely time waiting for results. Be kind to yourself.

Marshy · 28/10/2015 22:12

Hi Lavender
Have been thinking of you today and hoping you're doing ok.
Where you are now is rubbish and no mistake. It will get better though I know that's hard to believe at the moment. Hang on in there Flowers

Marshy · 28/10/2015 22:13

Stormy obvs...d'oh!

mrsrhodgilbert · 28/10/2015 22:42

Hi stormy, I think I read your first post in chat, I'm glad you've come to join us. I remember the week of waiting very well last year. Suddenly my whole future just froze, I couldn't imagine having one. The next couple of days are going to be really hard, there's no denying that.

Hopefully, if the results are positive, you will come away with a 'treatment plan'. Breast cancer is dealt with with ruthless efficiency. You'll also be appointed your own specialist nurse who you can call anytime to explain everything that's going to happen, when you have got the time and ability to properly take it all in. In the meantime we're hear to listen.

amberlight · 28/10/2015 22:45

Hi Stormy, and everyone else here.

I'm one of the old-timers, having had my diagnosis five years ago, followed by two sorts of chemo, surgery, radiotherapy and Herceptin.

Occasionally I pop in with nifty news and top tips.

Nothing scarier than the wait for results and a cunning plan. We've all been there. Really flummoxing stuff.

OK, the good news is that lumps in a boob cannot kill you. They are very annoying, but you cannot die from them. Treatment is so good now that even if it's got beyond the boob into some other place in the body, you're still unlikely to die. For example, if it ended up in the liver as well, these days they have five excellent treatments for that. A good 9 out of 10 people will live every bit as long as everyone else, after having breast cancer. Some live with cancer long term, and still continue to go on holiday, down the pub or whatever else. It's becoming a long term nuisance like having diabetes, for a growing number of people. The unlucky 10% includes people who were jolly ill with other things too, or very elderly and not so able to cope with treatments, or people who didn't go through with all the treatments, or had the occasional baffling team who don't use the most recent treatments. So it's very hard to die from it now.

Having said that, there's no guarantees, of course. And the treatment is doable, but isn't a lot of fun although I worked through chemo, rads etc (quite mad, but some bodies don't seem to really mind it. Herceptin didn't like me, though...).

Anyway, right now you need a strong virtual cuppa, and the chance to chat to the good folk here. Whatever's ahead, there are people who have been there before you, and know what's what. You're not alone. And when you get your treatment plan, you may find it's a relief and doable.

StormyLovesOdd · 28/10/2015 22:46

Thanks Marshy and Lavender I look forward to getting to know you all though obviously this is a thread we all wish we didn't need.

My DH and my Mum have both been really supportive. DH is going with me on Friday for the results.

I cried a lot yesterday but I think I doI feel a tiny bit calmer today, I suppose I'm slowly getting used to the new norm, though this week seems to be lasting forever. I'm wishing Friday was here and dreading it at the same time.

Worse thing is trying to act normal in front of my DD, I have no idea what and how I'm going to tell her, her Grandad died from lung cancer last year, DD is only 7 I'm so scared I'm not going to be around for her.

LavenderRain · 28/10/2015 22:51

amberlight I love your posts. That is so reassuring Thanks

StormyLovesOdd · 28/10/2015 22:54

Mrs and Amber - thanks for the lovely positive posts. That is really good to hear. I've been avoiding googling anything so far as I don't want to scare myself anymore than I already am.

I've already been assigned a nurse but was too much in shock to take in anything she said.

Marshy · 28/10/2015 23:12

She will be a great resource for you stormy. Make sure you keep her contact details to hand.
There is such a lot to take in at first, it really does feel overwhelming. You will gradually pick your way through the info that you need. Take it steady. And remember Amber's wise words.

My dc were teens when I was first going through this so different issues but there are women on this thread with younger dc who I'm sure will share with you.

Holding your hand from afar.

royalmama · 29/10/2015 03:08

Hello stormy welcome to the thread. I was diagnosed in June , had surgery in July and am currently on chemo to be followed by rads. I echo what the fine ladies before me said about the waiting being horrendously painful, but as they told me when I first came on, as soon as the treatment plan kicks off you surely become more focused and calmer. It is the unknown that freaks us out! None of us chose to be where we are, but trust me it is doable. I did my fair share of crying and "i will die nd leave my children", but sooner or later, as Amber said, it becomes more of a nuisance disease you are dealing with like diabetes or heart disease. i too have young children. They do not know everything, but they were told about the surgery and then about me needing to go have medicine( chemo was not explained to them) because my diagnosis meant canceling a very looked forward trip ( they were so upset) but i have spared them the details of my condition and they are doing really well. They understand there are days when mummy is tired and they try to help, bless them. Children get scared only when they are totally left out, but they also fear change and and so be gentle and slow in explaining to your DD what you and your DH deem she should know: how much, whether you choose to use the word cancer( we opted not to) etc
I wish you all the best and, whatever the outcome, this is the place to come to for honest advice and support.
Take care all.

dinster · 29/10/2015 07:01

Hi Stormy, I was where you are just a few weeks ago and am now about to start chemo next week after surgery. It's such a bewildering time - flurries of information and activity and choices to be made followed by horrible waiting periods, and repeat... I'm thinking of you.

One thing I've found, and this may not be the case for you at all, but I've had a huge range of reactions from the (not that many) people I've told and dealing with that has been tricky at times - feeling responsible for their worry or momentarily disconcerted by their unbotheredness! I think it's important to feel that it's OK to feel however you feel inside - even if you don't know what that is! - especially when you're having to be 'normal' for children/family/colleagues etc.

Wishing you all the very best for Friday.
Waves to all.

StormyLovesOdd · 29/10/2015 08:08

Thanks everyone, you've made me feel very welcome here and it's helped "talking" to others who have been/going through the same, makes it feel more normal somehow.

I think keeping the word cancer out of the conversation with DD is a wry good idea.

I'm going to keep busy today in an effort to distract myself. Planning to clean the house top to bottom as I've done nothing all week, getting my hair cut this afternoon and we're taking DD to a Halloween event this evening. Hopefully after all that I'll be so tired I'll be able to get some sleep tonight.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

WinoHamster · 29/10/2015 19:01

Thinking of you for tomorrow Stormy - but as I said on the Chat thread, even if you get the diagnosis you desperately don't want, you should have some idea of a treatment plan which will give you something to focus on. As Mrs said, it all moves at lightening speed, which is great - I was in surgery within 6 days.

Amber your posts are amazing, thank you. I am sitting here crying my eyes out - I still somehow think I'm going to be in the 10% who don't make it long term (despite the consultant reassuring me a million times otherwise!), but your post just makes so much sense. Thank you.

Hope everyone else is ok? I haven't posted for a few months - busy with radiotherapy, then getting myself back to work (unfortunately!). Still feeling quite tired even though I finished about 2 months ago but definitely improving.

AnnaFiveTowns · 30/10/2015 04:40

Stormy, these first few weeks will be the worst and then it all calms down you will cope with it. I'm a wimp and I'm amazed at how well I have dealt with it all so far; yes, you'll have wobbles and shit moments but you will find an inner strength to get through this.
I, too, had 4 tumours in my breast so they recommended a full mastectomy which I had 5 weeks ago, and they managed to remove all of the tumours with a good margin.
I started chemo today and feel very sick and ive been throwing up but dh has just gone to the out of hours for some extra sickness meds!

foofooyeah · 30/10/2015 05:29

Hope the mess work for you anna

Haven't been on here for ages .... I finished treatment over a year ago now (chemo, BMX, more chemo, rads).

Big wave to all ... Old and new.

royalmama · 30/10/2015 06:23

Anna, hope you feel better soon.
Take care all and to those who pop in from latter times, good to see you again and hope all is well your way.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 30/10/2015 07:41

Waving excitedly at foofoo! Grin

Welcome Stormy and good luck today Star sorry you're here! but hopefully this will only be a short visit for you.

Anna sorry you're feeling so sick, I hope the extra anti sickness helped. Keep taking them for a bit after the nausea has worn off. I ended up taking some of mine every day throughout chemo, then extra ones when nausea struck. It's easier to prevent it than to get rid of it once it has started. After the first cycle you should have a better idea of when nausea is going to be a problem so you can take the medications in preparation :) it's a good idea to keep a little diary of your symptoms.

I found that salty foods helped, I still get nausea sometimes so I always have a bag of mini Ritz crackers in my handbag. I also found Lotus caramelised biscuits good. Other people swear by ginger in various forms. I wore sea sickness bands when it was bad. I have no idea if they helped at all, but at least made me feel like I was doing something.

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon Flowers

AnnaFiveTowns · 30/10/2015 09:23

Thanks for the advice; going to try to nibble on a ginger biscuit but the hospital have said I'll meed to go in for an injection or possibly be admitted overnight if things don't improve. Hey ho!

Marshy · 30/10/2015 12:32

Hi Foo! Nice to see you and I hope life is good.

Just popping on to wish stormy well for today.

Anna I hope they get your nausea under control soon. It must be vile.

Still hobbling here and feeling zonked on painkillers. Sciatica sucks. I've used annual leave this week as well so as not to have any more sick time as will be straight onto half pay owing to all the boob-related sick leave I had. Hope I can get to work on Monday.

mrsrhodgilbert · 30/10/2015 13:11

Oh you poor thing Marshy. Is sciatica something that goes away at some point or will you always have it now?

Hi Foo, hope you are well and enjoying life.

Stormy, hoping you get all the answers you need today. We're here if you gave questions.

Anna, it must be grim if they're thinking if admitting you. Maybe they will be able to get it under control properly for next time.

I'm having dramas with dd2 who is struggling a bit in her first term at university. She's quite overwhelmed with it all and sounding like a small frightened child on the phone, not like her at all. All suggestions of help are falling on deaf ears.

fresta · 30/10/2015 13:18

stormy, yes it is very scary, and although I am still somewhat in the scary uncertain stage once you get a treatment plan it becomes easier to accept.

Had a rough week with the chemo, and slight infection in biopsy scar but coming out the other side now Smile

Anna, I've been sipping fruit or ginger tea this week to help with nausea- digestives or salty crackers have helped too.

But more bad news for me I'm afraid, all 3 sentinel nodes they took were positive. Scared stiff about having axillary clearance and the side effects, but I should have 6 months to come to terms with this. Still gutted though as it stages my cancer at stage 3 from my reckoning and the statistics are only 60% 5 yr survival rate- so scared of leaving dd and can't shake the impending feeling of doom Sad