DS's testicle has died....I feel so sad

[PickleAndPudding]

sorry in advance for the one-handed typing - giving ds a cuddle.

just a rant really, but would appreciate any positive stories.

ds (3 months old) had a twisted testicle about 4 weeks ago. docs thought they had saved it - it pinked up nicely when they untwisted it. however this weekend it looked swollen again and docs think it has probably died he's on antibiotics in the hope that will help it to die 'happily' and wither away, otherwise he'll have to have another op to remove it.

i'm gutted - was so relieved when they 'saved' it. was so glad that he still had a 'spare'. had no idea that this might happen, so it was quite a shock. going through lots of 'what ifs' - when it originally happened we had to really hassle the docs to treat it as an emergency (we'd looked up symptoms on the internet, and strongly suspected it was testicular torsion. Spent a good 5-6 hours at two hospitals waiting for someone to confirm the diagnosis.

I'm sure it would have had a much better chance of survival if they had acted sooner. (I'm not blaming them - I know they had to be v sure before operating on a 9 week old baby, but still....)

I know that this is a relatively minor thing...but I just hate to think of any horrid brats teasing him about it if they find out...or worse, something happening to his other ball! How do I make sure he's 'careful' with it without making him paranoid? Should we advise him not to tell anyone? Hate to think of him having a 'secret', but also hate to think he might get hassled about it.

Most of all...I just want him to be all healed - one ball or two. I'm going to be on tenterhooks for the next five days to see if this infection is getting worse or not. Soooo don't want him to have to have another op.

Wow that was long.

Thanks

Mary

I'm sorry. I have no idea what to say, just that I hope the infection clears and all is well with his remaining testicle.

So sorry mary, have no advice but will keep my fingers crossed.

Mary, hi, we too have a DS(2) with only one testicle. In our case both DS1 and DS2 had undescended when they were born. DS1's was happily brought down by an op but DS2's sadly died and they found the withered old thing when they operated. I remember crying when the consultant told me and I was so so sad. In our case we did not tell ANY of our friends etc. and just said that he had a hernia. Reason being is that I didn't want him to be at a disadvantage with the other kids because of what we had said. So nobody knows. When we spoke to the consultant he said that when DS2 is in his teens he can pop back for an implant. But he did say that in most cases (and he has to deal with a lot of professional footballers with this) the boys did not want to have an op. I too worried that someone would notice and be cruel but as the consultant pointed out to me 'boys do not stare at each other's bits in the changing rooms' so it made me feel lots better. I do worry that he will injure the healthy one but unless I wrap him in cotton wool I will always have that fear along with all the other fears that go hand in hand with being a parent. I too like you have a few 'what might have beens' as when DS2 was born they did say he had two healthy testicles and at his 6 week check they ticked the positive box in the red book. It was not picked up until 8 months old and I do sometimes wonder if I wasn't vigalent enough. I also wonder if there was anything that contributed to both my boys having this in pregnancy i.e. did I eat something, should I have had that glass of wine.... and it goes on. I think you will find that today there are many boys with this as you will read on MN posts. I can also promise that there are lots of positive stories on here where men with one testicle produce lots of healthy children. If you want me to find some for you to read just let me know. XX

aw how sad for you, hope the antibiotics clear up the infection though and ds isnt in too much pain.glad flowertop had the same experience to share with you

my brother only has one (after a strangulated hernia as a child). He has never had any comments, and has 4 kids.

Hi Pickleand pudding,

I too have been in your shoes and so far, have come out the other side. I noticed ds's testicle was swollen when he was 9mths old, although he had no pain. GP thought it was an infection but in hindsight, it was probably torsion. The testicle gradually shrunk and withered. I took him to see a private pAediatric specialist who recommended that he remove it as he suggested that there was a chance that it could become cancerous when older. So that is what he had done at age 3yrs. It was a quick op and at the same time, they fixed his remaining testicle in place with a few stitches, to prevent it from poentially twisting in the future. He was up jumping around within a few hours much to my relief. It's amazing how quickly children recuperate.

The specialist did suggest that when older, he could have a silicone prosthesis fitted but given that he still has a 'sack', thought it probably wouldn't be necessary cosmetically. In terms of future fertility, he said that having one testicle lowers fertility by a small percentage so he certainly wasn't worried about this.

Regarding protecting the remaining testicle, ds who's now 7yrs old, knows he has to be careful with the one he's got. In saying that, he's an exuberant boy who loves all things physical. Riding a bike was mentioned by the doc as potentially dangerous and his viewpoint was that you can't prevent your child from living, which I agree with. He doesn't discuss his 'bits' with his friends as it really has never been an issue with any of them.

When he's older, I may look into freezing some sperm samples, if this is whaht he'd like to do. But as another poster said, there's probably nothing to worry about, in this regard.

Hope this helps and good luck.

I have just taken DS to the doctor regarding the fact that I could only find one descended testicle. The doctor agreed, although he thought the other one was just a bit further up but definitely only one in the scrotum so we have been referred. DS is 5 and has been checked previously (noted in his red book).

Whilst I am concerned I am also aware that his Dad only has one and we have had no trouble with conception. I do feel sad though at the thought that DS might require another operation - he has had four already.

Thanks for your responses - feeling a bit more upbeat about it all now

Weirdly, most of the people I've spoken to seem to know someone who has only one ball. Who'd have guessed it was so common!? Seems like a bit of a design flaw in that area...tsk, men eh!

summer111 at what age do you think we can arrange to get sperm frozen as this has always been on my mind to think about doing too. Didn't even consider the bike thing. To be honest my DS2 is a nightmare and typical boy, always getting into scrapes. I think if I think about his remaining ball too much I will worry myself silly. Just have to pray that it won't get hurt.
P&P glad to know you are feeling more up beat. One thing I have learnt on MN is that there is always someone who knows exactly how you feel. In fact I don't really know what I would have done without it over the past few years.
XX

Hi Mary. My ds1 also only has 1. When he was about 18 months old he had terrible swelling so i took him to the gp who prescribed ab's as it was an "infection". After a few days it just gor more and more painful - he was walking by this time and could not even stand. Just lay nappiless crying. In the end my dh (who is a lot less bothered about "wasting People's time" than me) called an ambulance. Doctors suspected testicular torsion and were talking about transferring him to Gt Ormond St for op as he was under 2. Reason for op was they thought they may be able to save it. Alas was too late and he has only one now. Bothers me much more than him as i think it is quite noticeable. People close to us know about it and have put it on medical history for starting school (deliberated long and hard about this!) I have also heard that fertility unlikely to be affected. By the way the GP came knocking on our door once she heard what had happened - was ultra apologetic - am convinced she just wanted to avoid litigation - but if we had pursued it would not have changed anything.
my biggest fear is the same as yours - mickey taking as he gets older. sure they will all be fine. maybe we should start a new category in the "clubs" section!!

There was a thread a few weeks ago about only having one - loads of people (including me) knew men with only one. It won't affect his ability to father a child. LOL xx

Flowertop, in answer to your question, I suppose at some stage in his teens although I haven't really considered a specific age or at what age/stage in development, it is prime time to collect sperm. When I initially posed this as an option to the specialist who operated on my son, he said that I was the first parent to ask him if it was possible!!

I suppose thinking about my reasoning behind freezing sperm would be just in case he damaged his testicle at some later stage...my presumption is that my sport mad son will develop into an equally sport loving teen! I'll look into it in greater detail when that time comes though.

P&P, my friends ex has only the one and recently became a dad!

To reiterate what others have said, hope all turns out well. Also, my partner has one functioning testicle, and conceived no problem.

yossa can I ask what made you decide to put it on his medical history? We are not yet at this stage with DS as he still has to see the consultant but I will need to think about it. And also re the telling people but that will depend on what the consultant has to say. ATM we have told no-one, although I have tried to explain to DS.

This is going to sound really thick question but if a man loses both testicles can he still have a sex life? Sorry, Sorry if this sounds a stupid question but just need to know.
XX

If the testicles are both removed, it affects the production of testosterone, which in turns affects sex drive. I suppose erection may be possible, but the affected man may have no inclination to acheive one.

I don't think a man can be fertile without testicles, can they? as semen is produced in the testicles.

Yes but you can have a sex life without being fertile, thinking vasectomies here.

Well Flowertop I actually asked the doc about this at the weekend - just wanted to know what would happen if anything did happen to the healthy ball. She said that he would have to have hormone therapy to put him through puberty and allow him to have a sex drive etc. Sounded like it would be a lifelong thing. Obviously no possibility of having kids naturally. So not the end of the world, but not great either.

Ok but is it possible for the man to 'come'

I don't think so, as no semen is produced. Although they may still orgasm but no ejaculation, iykwim.

I think we are talking about no testicles now