I had a baby late December.
Since then I have had irregular periods/bleeding. I am on no contraception. I am 25.
I have had blood tests for hormone imbalance. First test came back I had very low oestrogen. So they did another and this came back normal. I was sent for an ultrasound scan on my ovaries and uteruse. Normal.
I had a smear ten days ago and I'm awaiting the results.
I am so worried. I suffer from extream health anxiety. I can't eat and sleep for worrying about the results if what the smear letter is going to say.
I jump every time I even look at the post box. It's my birthday on Friday and my OH has made all special plans for my two DS and myself but inside I'm screaming I don't want to do anything except from go to bed and sleep until I get my results from my smear.
Today I woke up and I had blood in my discharge which is still there a tiny bit now.
The GP put me on tables for my anxiety a couple of weeks ago, I don't know if they are making any difference. Only difference I feel is that normally if I found blood in my discharge I would be rocking and going dizzy. This time round I'm outwardly calm... And numb.
For the first time in ages I have felt like just ending my life. I don't want to wake up in the morning. I had a sleep before and when I woke up I sobbed inside at the thought of having to worry about my smear letter and this blood again.
Please don't scear me and tell me I'm going to die. It would be better if I killed myself rather then going to hospital appointments for months and then being terminally ill anyway.