at a loss to what to do next , GP is just not listening to me .... [sad]

[43mumof2]

what can i do next , my GP is just not listening to me and my symptoms , saying all down to anxiety ..

another awful night, had bad indigestion and woke me at 5 am , im going to doctors this morning , i hope she listens to me , im so depressed with it all , ijust cant carry on like this

Good luck this morning 43mum.
Sorry you had a bad night. I hope your GP helps

Gosh 43mum, no woder you feel as rhough things ate getting on top of you, with a story like that. Anyone would struggle to cope.

I wonder wonderetif CBT is the most appropriate thing here? I think you posdibly need deeper help to 'rebuild' or 'repair'your idea of yourself - some sort of therapy? But in the meantime, for me anxiety is quite a physical/chemical thing. Decaff tea and coffee are absolute lifelines for me, as is regular exercise, hard though it is to fit in, I know, and possibly out for now cos of the vit d issue.

Cant remember if gp was yesterday or today but if today, good luck. Really hope she's sympathetic.

just back , my GP was lovely she really took time with me today , i said it all how i was feeling , how low iv been feeling , anxiety over everything , she is reffuring me to a gastrologist to talk things through and let them decide if they want to do any investigations further , she thinks this is best as i will just go round in circles until i get this done , she doesnt think i have Bowel C or stomach C , but can see this is taking over my life and im strugling to function with this hanging over me , so thinks its best to see them and go from there , so i think thats good ...
has added further blood tests to ones im getting on Monday to check everything again for me , so again think this is good ....
and talked through ADs with me and wants me to start them ASAP and im seeing her in just over a week again to discuss blood test results and see how im getting on with the ADs
so i do kind of feel better , anxious about what will be done or found ...but glad that she did listen to me and is doing lots to help me , she was very kind to me and i was very greatful as im feeling so low today cant stop crying ...
im going to my concilor now so will come on later .

thank you for your kind ness , i need lots at the moment and yes quite a story my life , i do have 2 lovely children in that , and there the only reason im carrying on they mean the world to me and it terrifies me ever leaving them ..

Glad to hear your GP was helpful and took your concerns on board. You have masses to cope with, it is no wonder at all that you are feeling as you do. The ADs do sound like a good idea in this situation. Hopefully with a programme of tests ahead you can work through eliminating some of the suspects, and work towards a solution.

thank you , i think i feel better from just being listened to ,its been so hard and today with the doctor i let it all out , she was very understanding so im hoping that i can relax just a little knowing that all is being done that can be at this stage , i can do no more , and just got to wait for appointments etc ..
this will heighten my anxiety the waiting part so will try to keep myself off google , hope that all my symptoms are just anxiey linked and nothing synister ...but i wont know that for sure will i till iv had tests etc ...

another night of anxiety , im pleased iv been listened to but still so anxious of what they will find , i had a hot bath last night came down sat chatting to DH for a while then when i looked my stomach had the rash on it like heat rash , it always goes after i get cool again , but why do i get it ..? hot again today , fingers are hot , and im tired , i do think something inflamitory is going on in me ...is this another sign of Bowel C ? or another C going on ... just keep thinking the worst ...
doc wants me to take the ADs but im terrified to ...
just went to town and see if could get an optitions appointment , as my sight seems to have got worse , but that sent me into a panic of anxiety as what if they find something ?
this cycle is with me constantly ....

will this ever get better ...

Although I suggested and still suspect some sort of longer term therapy might help you I also feel you should be really strict with yourself and get out that notebook and practice the CBT every time you get these panicky thought. Even if you can only get your terror down fron 95% to 80% each time, its still worth it to put a lid on the escalating fears which clearly have you in their grip.

So red speckles on tummy after bath. How terrified am I it is an inflammatory condition? 90%. Looked at rationally, Who gets that? Loads of people including Sonja'sSister. How terrified am I now? 80%. Write it down look at your fears on the page and challenge them. It will help you get through.

I do think the ADs might help you.

And if you drink coffee, STOP.

Chamomile tea is your friend :)

thanks sonjas, i will try it , i get into waves of utter panic, fear and anxiety , i just want to feel ok ...its the uncerntanty i find so hard to deal with , waiting for tests , test results ..., uncerntity = fear

i dont drink coffee so thats ok , 1 cup tea in morning , rest water or mint tea and i dont drink alcohol either well if i do its a glass and , at the moment its a no no as i know it makes me worse with anxiety , feel good for half an hour for the followning low hit after ..not worth it

Ugh, I remember that feeling. Perhaps you should consider that all the stressful events have depleted important substances in your brain and a course of ADs might help them build up again? It worked for me

thank you , could that be the case , i feel utterly shattered 90% of the time its just awful ,

Reading your posts I get an overwhelming urge to go to your house and hug you!

I totally get what you are saying OP. The round in circles thinking, nausea, churning stomach. Yes to all those.

All gone once I got my head sorted. Keep posting. X

Oh so sorry you are having such a rough time 43mumof2 and you sound exactly like my sister. I truly don't want this to sound unkind but I think you do have health anxiety which is in itself an illness if that makes sense. And it's a horrible illness because nothing really re-assures you and you think that more and more tests will re-assure you but they don't of course.....that's the nature of health anxiety.

My sister convinces herself that she has all sorts of illnesses, and it is wearing her out, as anxiety is very wearing, so you feel tired all the time, and things go round and round in a viscous circle. She says she feels like she's in a mad maze that she can't find the way out........she won't take meds for anxiety even though I think they would really make a difference to her.

And please stay away from Dr Google - he is not your friend. My sister is always on it, and says she does it to re-assure herself that she hasn't got a particular illness, but the opposite happens and then she gets into a panic and that makes her feel sick and dizzy and unable to sleep and round and round it goes.............

I think your anxiety might have its roots in your troubled childhood and if you could get the anxiety under control, I think life would be much better for you. I hope you can accept this post in the spirit in which it's written and don't take offence. Anxiety means fear and that's what happens when we are anxious - we get afraid and more afraid and that leads to panic and then we get physical symptoms - a right old merry-go-round. Time now I think to do what you can to tackle the anxiety, take the meds and try and stick with the CBT - it's all going to take time, there are no quick fixes but once you realise your illness is anxiety I think that will be the first step on the journey.................I wish you well.

Avoiding refined sugar really helped my anxiety. As did taking magnesium every night.

I really hope you find something that makes you feel better both mentally and physically. Really understand how hard it is when you feel like you're being fobbed off and not listened to. Your GP sounds very good though.

Keep going love, you'll be ok.

thank you all for suport and kindness , , and Nananina , i totally get what you are saying , your sister sounds just like me , can relate to all you have said , i to am on google at any chance i get , although im trying not to but it is hard , i also go on illness forums looking up symptoms .. ans search for a posotice result ...but as you can imagine that rarely happens ....i have many doctors appoinments booked in advance (just in case ) , all these things are for reassurance , or trying to get reassurance , and your right that is very short lived ....it lasts only minuites now till the next thought comes along ...
i avoid situations to , magazines , papers , TV programs , conversations , if someone starts talking about a friend or someone with illness i ask them to stop , or i will walk away , or sometimes i will wait and hope the out come is ok ...
im currently having CBT which is helping a tiny bit , my councilor is so nice to me and that is a help , as most people have little compassion or understanding to this illness , its a living hell i can honestly say , and the guilt i feel for feeling like this is huge keeps me in this cycle as i feel im not worthy of happiness , and so the cycle continues .
i have some ADS to try im looking at the packet daily but im scared to take them , but i know that i must as so many people have said they will help ..

i do hope your sister is not as bad as me , and i hope she to finds a way through this , im going to try my best to get better and shift this pattern , but for now i just take a day at a time .x

You say "I do hope your sister is not as bad as me...." you (nor my sister are bad) you have a mental illness called anxiety and it happens to be focussed on health. And mental illness causes us to feel guilty and bad about ourselves, whereas this isn't the case with physical illnesses.

I am sure my sister could give you a "run for your money" - she's "had" MS, throat cancer, stomach cancer, ME, brain tumour, bowel cancer, FM, and that's in the space of 2 years. I've probably forgotten some of the lesser "illnesses" that she's had and she's always at the GP - and the truth is she isn't physically ill, she's mentally ill and given the choice I'd prefer physical illness I think, as mental illness is a torment as I suffer from intermittent depression which can be severe.

Once you accept that your illness is mental rather than physical you will be on the way to recovery..........so yes - take the tablets. They're only a low dose, so might just take the edge off the anxiety. And be kind to yourself BUT and I know I've already said this keep away from google !!

thank you NanaNina , we sounds so similar your sister and me , how is she doing now ? how does she cope ?
iv just had blood tests done this morning , for all sorts and i know now im going to worry and watch the phone all week , seeing doctor next monday for results so i need to distract myself , going to try the tablets tomorrow ...its just taking that first one i think ....

Well my sister isn't doing well 43mum and hasn't done for years because of her health anxiety and she won't keep away from google and she constantly complains the Drs are not taking her seriously. She doesn't "cope" really because her quality of life is so poor because she is always thinking she's got some illness and no matter how many times I try to be patient and tell her that it's all anxiety, she doesn't get it - so I'm at a loss really. I am empathetic because I firmly believe she (like me) has a mental illness but they are different types. Yes blood tests galore - and always come back normal.

She goes around and around in circles, and feels lumps and bumps anywhere and everywhere and I can't feel anything and yes she too waits in dread for the results of the blood tests, and she's never had one that has been anything other than normal! Blood tests results get through to the GP very quickly now and don't in any event show up anything serious, so you don't need to worry! I am seriously thinking of taking my sister's laptop away so that she can't google as that is one of the major problems.

I honestly don't understand why so many people are afraid of taking ADs - they are a very safe drug and have been used for over 50 years. You probably won't feel any different with just a 10mg dose, but if you do get side effects they will usually subside in a week or so but if not there are other ADs your GP could prescribe.

all sounds so similar to me , im the same with the doctors convinced there all laughing at me , and i can tell when i see them there all fobbing me off ...sometimes i see them in the corridor they look at me and im sure thet think oh god theres that nuts one , hope i dont get her today ...
i get blood tests done and then get a print out look up the results to compare , i never phone up for results as i cant bare the silence as they look them up ...i either go in in person or like this time i have a doctors appointment on monday to find out results of bloods taken yesterday , but in the mean time im on edge every time phone rings incase they will call if theres something really wrong ....
its truly awful ...
hard for you to to see your sister like this , mine is the same she gets cross with me i know ...
how old is your sister ? does she have a partner , DH to help support her to

but iv been brave though today as iv just taken my first tablet ... feeling abit shaky and scared and anxious but i really do want to feel better and i utterly hate myself now so iv got no choice but to try them ...cant feel much worse than i do ....its a living hell at times so im going to try my best to get better ..

not sure going to carry on with these ADS i feel awful today so anxious worried about my blood tests and gatro appointment ..i now have been getting like acid reflux ..so convinced sinister in connection with my IBS all other symptoms going on , perhaps will leve till i et all answers to my tests and meetings ......

Please keep going with the ADs, love - you've only had them one day, and it's the first week that's the worst. Please do try - we're all here cheering you on, and we know how hard it is.

You were really brave to take the first one - you can do it again.

And for what it's worth, I never ever had a problem coming off ADs - just stopped taking them and it was done.

got myself all worried just feel so low ..googled a bit so thats not helped i know ....
thanks for support does help

I don't know if my experience will be of any use to you ....

Three years ago, I started to have some pelvic pain on my left side. I was worried so I went to my GP, obviously in my head, it was ovarian cancer. Whilst waiting to have a scan, I got very anxious and started having all sorts of twinges, weird, odd little symptoms - I lost my appetite, muscle twitching, itching, lots of odd little symptoms. I googled it and came up with various diagnosis, all of which would be fatal! I eventually had the scan and it was clear. So I went back to my GP who referred me for physio. It didn't help. So she referred me to someone else. It ended up in MRI scans all which revealed nothing (I had private health insurance) any way ended up seeing a gyneacologist. Had a operation where my Fallopian tube was removed as it was full of cysts. Nothing else was found. But I was still in pain.

It took some time, and a great deal of distress on my part to realise that, in actual fact, the Drs were right - there was nothing physically wrong with me, it was actually depression. It was very hard to admit that, actually, I was on a different page to everyone else. This brief tale actual went on for six months and also coincideded with the seven year anniversary of the death of my mother, from cancer. I had absolutely no idea I had depression. In my case it was severe and I had days where I felt suicidal. My dcs kept me going. I started to take antidepressants and within a few weeks I was back to normal. I had no idea that depression could cause physical symptoms. My GP said it was a 'breakdown' and I just couldn't cope anymore.

Sine then I've not looked back. I've been off the antidepressants for about six months but I looking out for that 'feeling' just in case.

I don't know if this rings any bells for you? Perhaps your symptoms have a physical cause but please also bear in mind takes such as mine. Anxiety and depression are awful, I wouldn't wish them on anyone. It was only after taking medication that I reaslied I'd actually had it for some years, before it finally all came to ahead. Be kind to yourself and step away from google, there aren't any answers on there