Got a confession to make, after totally freaking out on you lot here and being completely unreasonable to the gp who said the wrong thing by accident,,, I then spent til 3am writing a document for the GP 
Based on suggestions here then filled out with my own stuff... And then brutally edited with the delete button in the morning. Then edited some more by the printer, when Ds decided to 'help' and promptly broke it, so only 1.5 pages printed!
Will copy and paste some into Herr when on my computer... It had an intro, a contents which had a few diff topics but only 2 filled out, and I suggested that if he felt it was helpful if do other couple of topics for another appoint... He didn't say yes exactly (kinda how he was all the appointment), but he quickly booked another appointment.
I'd done a 3 sentence summary. I have x which is difficult to manage. I also have x which is also difficult to manage. Then I had pancreatitus and need gallbladder op.
Then I'd included an excerpt from a paper that says eds is systemic and gives a few examples. Didn't go through it, just left it there. And then the meds list and my qs / actions around the meds.
I also has a bullet point list of my own symptoms which is long as, well, it's systemic! So wasn't going to attempt to go through that anyway, unless he wanted to start there... And lastly I wrote a few paragraphs on how disabled it all makes me and how low quality of life is needing carers, bedbound 24 hrs x 5 days a week, 20hrs x the other two days etc, whixh didn't waffle (unlike
On here!) but didn't pull any punches either. which would have been useful to read out when I got stalled about the mh stuff, as its h&f to explain (justify) why you're on the edge unless you understand how shit and all encompassing my illness is, and the high stakes (my son & me. No safety net, no support. No alternative for Ds if I go)... but that's all what the printer ate!
Anyway, I didn't do a good job of explaining a lot of it but he helped anyway, so maybe, for a while anyway, he's reserving judgement and acting like I'm reasonable whatever else he really thinks... Long may it last!
God I'm relieved it wasn't my worst fears.
Anyway the short doc really helped when I was busy behaving like a lion in the Gp office .., ha! Typo meant loon not lion but either gives the right impression of just not being at my most rational (though I didn't actually growl at him.., I think?!)
He was being very very careful to keep himself very wrapped up and sort of removed somehow, don't know how to describe it exactly, but I initially found it difficult to deal with as am used to it being the exact opposite, me trying to get heard above the internal assumptions and external voice that was speaking much more importantly than mine. Was expecting the same so was utterly wrong footed. But as you lovely people are giving me the space and listening ears, am thinking it through now, and maybe this will be better for me.
Ah, I have another way of describing it. It was like his deliberate reticence left a vacuum in the room that I'd in a more normal frame of mind get sucked into the floor to fill the vacuum. As I was v nearly having a v quiet breakdown, I felt the pull but had no trouble resisting it as I was busy imploding into my self as a defense mechanism as well as a freaking out thing. It's definitely a strategy on his part, as I was undr no illusions who really had the power in the conversation, and he was the opposite of a push over, and I saw him put it on (iyswim) when he was trying to clock who I was and I was introducing myself and the Physio talking to him. So I don't know what the Physio said, or maybe he didn't even remember but just clocked how nervous I was, but either way, I hope he carries on being like that and doesn't change tack when he decides about me...
I wonder if he was mirroring me actually? I actually hope not as I don't know where I stand with him and whether I can rely on this experience being any indicator of the next.