Breast lump, rectocele and I think I'm depressed

[Elizabeth222]

Hi all,
I am 22 years of age and had a lump in my breast that my partner spotted a few months back. I had an ultrasound and they took a biopsy of it straight away as it didn't look or feel right. I was given the all clear and told it was just breast tissue 5 days after and I was so relieved. I went back for a routine 2 month check at Breast clinic for the doctor to turn around and tell me that he was really concerned as it had grown down my breast and was very solid and was roughly measuring 3-4 cm. he also stated that the biopsy scar did not go through the lump but over it. I was then sent for an emergency lump removal surgery 2 weeks later, 2 weeks ago. I have had a letter through to go back to breast clinic on the 1st of June for my results. But the one thing I'm concerned about is that after the surgery I had a dip in my breast. Yesterday I had a feel and it has grown back into a solid lump :(
Has anyone else ever had this? I'm just so annoyed as everything just seems to be going wrong lately and I'm really not feeling myself. On top of this I have been recently diagnosed with rectocele and hemoroids and with that ontop of my boob I just seem to be closing myself off. It's ruining my relationship and life because I'm constantly feeling disgusting, paranoid and very uncomfortable. The fact I can't poo properly anymore is making me pile on the weight one minute and the next I'm losing way to much and look disgusting :( to be fair my partner is totally understanding and still try's his hardest to make me feel beautiful and be there for me. But day by day I seem to be pushing him and my family away and just keep wanting to just sit in the corner and cry. My mum thinks I have depression but instead of listening I just snapped and started to cry and left. I'm just trying so hard to look happy for my 2 year old daughter but I can see that even she is becoming effected by my mood and the fact I can hardly interact with her because of the constant discomfort and pain. The doctors just don't seem to be doing there jobs :'( and I just want to be a normal mum :( any advise please

Hi Elizabeth222, sorry you are feeling like this. I can really only answer on the rectocele part because I have experience of that. I know it can make you feel really down and helpless. Have you had any specialist physiotherapy for it? It can really help to get taught the right pelvic floor exercises, they do take some time to work. The physios deal with this all the time and it can really help with the pooing and just the feeling of heaviness etc. Also they advise on lifestyle too. It's not something that you can talk about with your friends either, so its hard to get support from others I know. Its kind of an invisible thing that makes you feel bad about yourself I know. And when its acting up you are reminded of it every time you go to the loo which is quite often! Or even getting up and down from sitting positions. Or sitting on the floor playing with your little girl, or picking up the toys. So its on our minds a lot. I had an op that has helped mine, but as you are very young you may well get a decent result from specialist exercises if you persevere with them.
sorry you are worried over the breast thing. Maybe someone else here can advise on that. After your clinic appt in June you will know what you are dealing with. What you are dealing with certainly would cause you a lot of psychological stress that's for sure. No-one would blame you for feeling like this. So seeking support from specialist services might help with that. Your mum sounds like a good source of support and your partner too. I know dealing with kids is very tough when you feel down and in discomfort and worrying. You could go back to the GP, especially if you are worried about the breast again and to tell them how you feel generally. Or is there a nurse or advisor at the Breast Clinic who you can ring? I know it is hard to seek support when you feel like this, but seeking support is what helps.