For Mums of Older Boys

[Rhiannon]

Do you get your boys to wash under their foreskin when in the bath by pulling it back? My DS is just 7 and I've been getting him to do it for a while now but mentioned it to a friend with an 8 year old and she never gets hers to do it. Thanks in anticipation of your never ending infallable (sp?) advice. R

Funny you should mention this, Rhiannon. I was under the impression that my son (now just 9) always washed under his foreskin but he was complaining recently that his willy was sore and itchy and it turned out that he doesn't.
So now he does and it's fine. Probably varies with individual anatomy but it seems like a good idea to me (unless they're circumcised of course but that's another forum!)

A few years ago, my dh told my 7 year old son how to clean under his foreskin. I've seen my son do it, so I know the lesson has sunk in.

When my son was younger, I used to stay in the bathroom when he had a bath - he didn't clean daily then. I assume he doesn't clean daily now. He doesn't usually complain of feeling itchy, but if he does, he has a bath and, I assume, he cleans under his foreskin.

You've worried me now, I better ask ds what he does and when.

when should I be concerned about doing this with my son - he is only 2?

jodee, I'm not exactly sure of the appropriate age, but you physically can't do it when they are very young because the foreskin is more attached; as they get older it becomes looser.
Your HV can probably tell you when you should start.

jodee I asked my HV about this the other week, DS is 3 years 3 months, I had read somewhere that you should start cleaning under the foreskin when they are three but didn't want to do it if it wasn't necessary. Anyway I asked my HV and she said it was not necessary only if he had an irritation and at that she advised I take him to the Doctor first. I would assume mind you it is good hygiene for an older boy to clean under there and personally I am waiting until DS is ready to take over responsibility for washing himself then DH can explain it to him!

Jodee I spoke to my midwife about this very thing last week as ds is approaching two and dh and myself had different views. She said to leave alone until they started to play with it themselves, around 5/6.

Thanks everyone - it sounds as though I should leave it a couple of years, but next time I speak to the HV I shall enquire as well.

jodee - and anyone else interested - this was on the Health page in the Times today:

Q: Is there anything wrong with my son?s foreskin?

Our four-year-old boy has asked us why his foreskin does not pull back like his friends?. In our home medical book, it says that it should eventually stretch by the age of five. It shows no signs of stretching at the moment. Does it occur suddenly? Should he be fiddling with it to get it to stretch? Should we try to stretch it? I don?t want to have to have him circumcised. What can we do?
Name and address supplied

A: It?s usual for a boy?s foreskin to be non-retractable at this age. As long as the skin at the tip of your son?s foreskin is supple and soft, it?s likely that it will retract of its own accord and should be left alone. The age at which this could happen varies greatly. For most boys, the foreskin should start to retract by the age of seven or eight, and fully retract by nine or ten. If your son?s foreskin has white scar tissue at the tip, becomes sore and red, if he develops an infection under the foreskin (balanitis), has a urinary tract infection or has painful erections, you should consult your doctor. He may refer your son for a specialist opinion.

BTW the same page had questions about late toilet training and picking-noses-and-eating-it, if anyone wants to look them up!

(www.thetimes.co.uk)

Janh, many thanks for digging that out.

Curious to know where the 4 year old and his friends got together to compare willies!!!

mmm - good point, jodee - probably best not to pursue that question!

Thanks janh, I had the same thought as you jodee! I suppose that's just boys for you!

I found a really helpful site on these 'boyish' problems (not nose picking, which I think is entirely cross-gender!). It's an American fathering magazine - I don't know what the rest of it is like, but this advice is (I hope) going to spare my son an operation! Its www.fathermag.com, and then search on phimosis

An American fathering magazine - that sounds interesting. Reminds me I must post a message on the missing person's thread...
Thanks for the info Janh and Copper.

A cautionary tale on the retracting the foreskin front: before meeting dh I went out with a young man whose foreskin was tight. One night during a particularly inebriated lovemaking session his foreskin tore of its own accord. You can imagine the effect on both of us of copious quantities of blood suddenly issuing from his penis (and dripping onto his mother's living room carpet - try explaining that one away!). Let's just say we sobered up pretty quickly! Luckily close examination under slightly brighter lighting conditions revealed what had happened, but it was all a bit of a shock. So keep an eye on your sons and spare them this potential experience!

Enjoyed your story very much Azzie. Love the thought of explaining the blood on the carpet (a nosebleed?).

Back in the days when I was a gal of many experinences, realising that the blood was on the inside of the condom was interesting.

I tried to explain the cleaning bit to my 5 year old son today by as gently as possible peeling his foreskin back - it gave us both a bit of a shock ( he hated it and screamed ) and I feel a bit worried that I've done it wrong. It didn't feel tight or anything,it's just the surprise for both of us seeing the inside of his willy !! any advice ?

Binker get him to do it when he's in the bath, wash it with some sensitive soap and gently does it!