My hearing aids are also over-the-ear aids (not NHS, so I don't know how different they are to yours), but I have never had a problem with how they "sit" on my ears.
I have never had any pain, soreness, or "ear moving" problems.
If the connecting tubes are changed (the bit hooked over my ear), I have occasionally had a problem if they use one which is a bit too long, and it just doesn't feel right, so it has been changed for a shorter one. If your ear is being moved, maybe the tube is actually too short?
If the inner bit that goes into my ear has been replaced (it has a small rubber end), that can sometimes feel a bit irritating for a while, and is very itchy deep inside my ear, but wears off within a short time as I get used to it, and I am not even conscious of wearing the aids at all.
I have to wear glasses for reading/computer work, and wear sunglasses, but put them on as normal. I've just had to feel where the arms of my glasses sit, and they are just above the battery compartment. I took my aids out, and put my glasses on again, and they are in the same position. The glasses/aids do not seem to interfere with each other.
I use a phone as normal too. I don't really understand why you have to hold the phone up high to use it?
I think you need to go back and ask them to check how they have been fitted, because they certainly shouldn't be causing you any pain.