What is 'too ill' to do stuff?

[Orrery]

Since becoming a Mum I have a slightly different take on what it means to really dig deep and carry on, a few days late working hours to meet a deadline seem slightly silly when compared to getting up 4 times a night, every night, for months and months. But lately I'm starting to give in to general illnesses like colds, flus and viruses and actually use them as legitimate reasons to cancel things like social events and even a rowing race - I'm starting to feel a bit soft! I was wondering what do you consider to be a legitimate level of illness for say leaving the washing up til next day to taking sick leave from work to cancelling something big like a friends birthday or wedding?

I have a rule of thumb.
If I am obv infectious (d and v) I stay at home.
If carrying on would make me more ill/worse I stay at home.
If it's just a cold/headache/back pain I crack on.

Tricky. I tried cracking on and wound up very ill CFS type thing.

Washing up often gets left at the mo.

I was getting very frequent illnesses and should have seen it as a message really. In the end I lost an awful lot of muscle and became very physically weak. I ignored the crippling pain in my back and wrist. I carried on working with tonsillitis. I went back too soon after chest infections and viruses. Then had awful issues regaining the lost muscle as became anaemic. By this time I was signed off work long term. I had thyroid medication issues too though and possible low Vit d and I actually think vit c became an issue as I kept bruising a lot, bleeding gums etc.

I've developed a range of bench marks of how physically strong I am and how long I last till I'm tired. I adjust what I do to these. But I'm setting goals too in order to be able to swim further etc. Mainly to get back to work as it's been 6 months.

Haven't caught a single cold since oct. When my thyroid meds were upped and I started the iron and vit c plus berrocca.

Sometimes it's wise to pace/ pull back/ rest a bit and then slowly start building up again. I was so bad I couldn't actually lift a plate never mind worry over if dishes were done. I won't let things ever get like that again.

Well, you know your body - why ask other people? If you are giving in "more easily" than you used to, perhaps it's because you know you recover less easily than you used to. Only an idiot carries on because someone else's body could cope with it.

Without meaning to sound rude - perhaps you are just older and your body is less able to recover quickly now and as a result you are making the perfectly sensible choice to not push yourself, but instead choosing to stick your feet up and rest.

I've never understood people who seem to take pride in pushing themselves to breaking point when they are ill.... you know, the kind that have major surgery and then boast about being back at work 2 days later. Why is that seen as a good thing?!

You only have to read MN to realise how many of these types of personalities burn out and end up with chronic fatigue, fibromylagia, post viral fatigue or just plain old depression from doing too much.

Forever you probably describe what I felt I had to do thinking I was the same as others when I do have a chronic health condition which isn't always easy to treat. Yep, for a while it looked like I was going to be told I had fibro - still might except I think I'm recovering. To remeber to listen to my body.

Iirc our bodies are only really designed to last (at top notch capacity) till aged 40.

Rabbit stew - "only an idiot carries on..." Sometimes it's very difficult to let others down ie work, family. Sometimes you have to carry on. ( though clearly not going out partying and boat racing)

Yes, Clarella, that is true and often people do feel they HAVE to push themselves beyond what they know is good for them. However, clearly that isn't the OP's problem... you don't row badly in a rowing race whilst feeling ill because you HAVE to; you don't force yourself to go out to a social event because you HAVE to, even if then pass on whatever you've got and make all your friends ill, too - you are not the centre of everyone's universe in that respect. Yes, you keep getting up to look after your children, to earn money, to care for you elderly parents who actually NEED you. That's different. That's people really needing you...

I dont really get colds much or D & V. I think it is since being a mum. you know you cant put your feet up, plus workign part time. Plus If i took time off work when they were younger I would still have dc at home - more hard work than going out to work!
speaking as someone who has legitimately been off sick for months, but prior to that no sick leave was taken, bar one day for a cold

OP I think you are makign excuses to not attending events,

man up

It can be so annoying when people turn up to social events with hideous colds that they then pass on to everyone else... They should save their manning up for when the benefit of their presence outweighs the disadvantages...

Rabbitstew I do agree with you - but I think sometimes there's a subtle social anxiety / social pressure to keep up with the super fit I-had-a -section-yesterday-and-look-at me with- baby-and-three-kids-doing-the- school-run- joneses.

The rheum I saw when very ill and diagnosing hypermobility syndrome (though really it's mostly thyroid) did say the number of people who do the whole work and job and kids thing who actually have a lot of background support is more than you realise.

I also work with a couple of martyrs - who are good at their job and I admire - but who almost boast about how poorly they are and how they struggle in. It gets hard to judge what you should do yourself.

Yes, I guess you're right, Clarella. I've always been quite thick skinned when it comes to social pressure!

I hope you manage to get a good equilibrium back, soon, and can return to work and start enjoying life without worrying too much about getting ill again.