anxiety worries

[welshmum77]

Hi there, im not sure this is the correct place to write but I have a few issues which I feel are affecting my general health. Im mummy to 3 dcs age 11, 12 and 1. My partner works away during the week which im finding pretty difficult. My little one goes to bed brilliantly but its hard keeping him there, especially around 1-4am. I have tried co-sleeping which doesnt work, he doesnt settle. I always make sure he is warm and dry, all the usual. He isnt hungry. Im currently using controlled crying for about the 4th time which is working but im just so exhausted. I work 3 days a week and I feel like im spending all my days worrying. My anxiety seems to be getting worse as the days go on. I worry about my little one's health, my health, is he being looked after properly when im at work. We are going on holiday shortly as a family and im already panicking about the baby and the pools and will he be safe. I feel like im driving myself mad. Im close to tears a lot of the time, but feel like this is a lot due to tiredness. Im not normally an anxious person but feel like its taking over my life. I used to exercise but feel like I dont have the time or the energy but I know it would do me good. Any advice would be appreciated. My dp is brilliant when he is home on weekends but through the week i feel like a wreck. Im taking Kalms at the moment to see if they help but not sure if maybe i need something a little stronger just to help me deal with the anxiety. Thanks for listening

Hi there. You aren't alone. I'm exactly the same, usually very level headed and calm but in the last two months anxiety has taken a hold and I can't shake it off. I tried calms, which took the edge off , but not permanent. I tried an app called, headspace and end anxiety, they helped to, but this last week I've cried a river so went to see GP on Monday and he prescribed something. I'm devastated I've come to this but couldn't carry on the way I was. Hope u find some relief hun xxxx

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate and of course it will always seem worse when you're tired.

My DH works away in the week too and I hate it so I sympathise on that one. I have two dcs aged 10 and 6. I have felt all the worries you have about your dcs - for me when we're going away it's balconies - im terrified my dcs will somehow throw themselves off!! I know it can be irrational but I think that's partly being a parent.

That said, it's so easy to let things get on top of you. This happened to me and I spiralled into severe depression. It was awful and took months to recover from. Thankfully I'm fine now. So don't let things get out of control, maybe see your gp to discuss your anxiety, you don't need to put up with this.

Thank you it helps to know im not the only one feeling like this. I got home from work last night and was in tears until I went to bed. I hate the dcs seeing me in this state. I think its time I went to docs to see what they recommend. I have suffered mild depression before but this time I cant seem to pick myself back up. Im a very sociable person and just dont feel like seeing anyone or doing anything. I know I expect a lot from myself, I like to have the house etc tidy before I go to bed, make sure the kids are all sorted which i know is what most mums do, try to get everything clear for the weekend so we can have family time. I feel guilty that im not spending enough time with my older 2 a lot of the time. Im in work now with puffy eyes and a headache from crying. I feel like im going mad. I know it will pass and everyone has these life issues at some point but this is the worst I have ever felt

You're coping with a lot and you're also putting pressure on yourself.

As I said previously, I had depression a couple of years ago. I hah anxiety issues for a while but suddenly I was consumed with anxiety. I just couldn't cope anymore. It took several visits to my gp over around six months to get a diagnosis of severe depression. I was put on anti depressants and thankfully I'm on now.

I didn't see it coming and I can say it was one of the worst times in
my life.

You're not at this point by the sound of it but you need to nip this in the bud before it escalates. See your gp, it can't do any harm. You don't need to live like this :)

I'm the same as you. I don't think I've ever been depressed, but I'm certainly a sufferer of anxiety. It comes and goes and if I'm tired, it's a lot worse. I have to really take care of myself and rest if i feel tired instead of pushing that little bit more to get the house perfect or whatever. I don't feel bad if I have to cancel arrangements in favour of a rest.
We have a holiday planned too and I worry most nights about the pool and dd's safety, whereas it wouldn't have even crossed my DH's mind!
My dd doesn't sleep either, every night since she was born 4 years ago, she's woken in the night. I now have an ill ds aswell and i'm up looking after him too!
It's hard work being a mum and not having any help in the week is really tough. You really need that holiday. You will probably come back with a clearer head, once you've all had a break and realised that nothing will go wrong and it'll actually be really fun and good for you.
The best thing to do (after telling your dp how you're feeling so that you can get some support) is talk to the doctor. It doesn't always lead straight to medication. Your gp can put you in touch with a local support group, arrange CBT..just opening up and telling someone how hard you're finding it is a huge relief.
What I do, is just focus on good things, no matter how small they are. I really appreciate that small amount of time when everything's quiet at night, I look forward to that! Really look after yourself and realise that you are really important. You are constantly looking after everyone else, so you need to look after you now!
If you are prescribed anti depressants, then why not. Thousands of people take them and they work.