Can you help me to make the most of the doctor's appointment for my DH on Thursday, by suggesting what to do / not to do during the appointment, which questions to ask etc.
The most recent events leading up to this appointment is an incident where my DH nearly fainted and experienced unexplained extreme weakness. GP suggested a blood test, followed by another two blood tests, which revealed high lymphocyte count and high serum TSH (potential underactive thyroid). The appointment is to talk about blood test results.
DH doesn't feel well for a while now (years rather than months) - persistent tiredness, headaches, depression. I found the knock-on effect of his depression particularly hard last year, and I'm not sure I have it in me to cope with this level of moodiness, blame and anger again, should it return in the future.
DH is highly skeptical of doctors and refuses medication. If not me insisting on him seeing the doctor, he wouldn't go at all. He believes in alternative medicine, practically to the exclusion of traditional medicine. He is highly intelligent but can't always communicate clearly and can be very impatient when people disagree with him. Last year he was offered anti-depressants which he refused, and CBT counselling which he started to attend but dropped out after 2 sessions. We did some private counselling together (my initiative) which he was very negative about, and so that hasn't worked either. Generally speaking he is not planning to take medication this time either, and believes that me being present at the appointment will create further tension between us, as I will be in support of doctor's recommendations, and he won't. Still he says it's ok for me to go, if I want, so I have his (reluctant) green light.
The reasons I would like to attend are: 1) To have first-hand information about the results, next steps, and diagnosis (when it's possible to establish one). When I previously asked DH to tell me what the doctor said, he huffs and puffs, makes sarcastic comments mixed with criticism about GPs and general negativity, and I find it difficult to understand what the doctor actually said; 2) To understand the prognosis (again, maybe too early at this point, we'll see); 3) Highlight symptoms, family history and other important information to the doctor that was potentially missed out. For example, DH is vegeterian, previously vegan, so diet might have played a role; he feels lack of fresh air far earlier than most people do and gets headaches as a result. His dad died in his forties from cancer. I'm really not sure any of this was ever mentioned to the doctor.
So, what's my best bet at this stage? A friend of mine suggested to push for diagnosis, further tests (scan and biopsy), and maybe a referral to a specialist. Makes sense. What else? Any tips? I want to be supportive to the best of my ability.
(I'm in my 30s, DH in his 40s, two primary school age DCs).
Thanks for reading.