What are you supposed to do when someone threatens suicide every weekend?

[charliecat]

My friends X husband keeps texting her saying things like Im dying, please forgive me, and im in hospital now.
Last night he said he was self harming.
Noone did anything. Hes does it nearly every weekend.
Hes on antidepressants and is seeing someone.
What should she do?

she should ignore him i think, he is her ex husband and she is entitled to move on and take no notice of his rather weak emotional blackmail..he is not being serious by the sound of it and needs to fill the void himself

if she knows who it is he is speaking to she should writte and describe what it is he is saying in his txts.

then she change her phone number and not inform him of what it is.

It is generally accepted that those who discuss suicide are doing it for attention seeking purposes and do not usualy go through with teh act itself.

If he is her ex and therefore not part of her life, she should change her phone number.

If they no longer have a relationship then his attention seeking is not something she should have to deal with.

He needs to sort out his own issues.

Ok, thought ignoring was best, as the more attention he gets for it the more he will do it?
The conversation always turns to him when theres a flurry of texts coming, so it works attention wise even if hes not aware of it.
I said to her that people who kill themselves just do it, they dont go on and on and on about it.
But of course shes worried one day he will do it, and he is the kids dad after all.
Dont think she knows who his pychiatrist (sp?)is.
His texts were perfectly spelt, and i said if he had took any pills they would be mispelt as his brain deterioated(sp? again!)...is that right?

I do disagree though that those who discuss suicide don't go through with they do..a high proportion of successful suicides have talked of it in the previous few months

"It is generally accepted that those who discuss suicide are doing it for attention seeking purposes and do not usualy go through with teh act itself."

This may be generally accepted, but it isn't true.

Hmmm, so if he might one of these days go through with it, is it best left ignored?
We dont know if its just her whos getting the texts.

Harsh - but, ignore him. One, hes an ex... and two, hes clearly not going to do it. Ive been there, and the times ive done anything, ive told no one. THe times I told DH, it was a cry for help. Hes getting help, so, id leave it at that. Giving him attnetion will fuel it... again, if the mental health team or whoever are aware of the situation, she should just ignore it.

this page could help here

but i would hope that he has a community support if he doesn't have friends, family or colleagues as the ex wife she is not responsible for him

Just read a few posts.... mine was based on myself. Ignore the ignore bit...

Zippi just the link I was coming back to post

It includes the info about:

"Things to listen for - does your friend talk about:

feeling suicidal (it's a myth that people who talk about it don't do it)? "

as well as many other pointers to look for

I might well ignore it if I was her, we don't know enough about the circumstances, but I just wanted to point out that "people who talk about it don't go through with it" is not actually correct.

feeling suicidal (it's a myth that people who talk about it don't do it)?

seeing no hope in the future, no point in life?

feeling worthless, a failure?

feeling very isolated and alone?

I would think he would answer yes to these 4 questions.
Im going to give my friend the samaritons number and she can text him it next time.
Thanks

I agree with zippi- it's not her responsibility. Poor her. I think she should ring his nearest Community Mental Health Team and report her concerns and then change her number. When you say he's seeing someone do you mean he's got a new girlfriend/partner or that he's receiving counselling/treatment?

he should also ask his gp or mental health team whether there is a local help line in his area which he can ring overnight...here there is and the gp asks if you would like the number

also mind have drop in centres www.mind.org.uk click local

Seeing a phyciatrist(sp)Scrummy.
I know the mental health team number as my brother is schizophrenic, will pass that on too

Hi Girls,

Horrible position for your mate to be in- I'm with the majority he should be ignored.
His behaviour is so selfish and must be tiring for your friend to deal with constantly.

From personal experience- My Dad and Grandad both killed themselves and they just did it.
The police contacted us both times to tell us and it was totally out of the blue.
Plus my dad was a master at emotional blackmail and he never used that one so.........

Thank god she's got a good mate to help her.
Bet he's normally had a few when he starts.

I would say don't reply to the texts, but contact him on a seperate occasion to say she doesn't want to receive any more messages like this and will not respond in future, but expressing the wish that he will be able to seek help from a more appropriate person. Then stick to her guns and don't reply.

I was in a similat situation last year, my xp was an idiot! I let him because he was awful to me, when he realised id met someone else the phone calls started and I spent a whole two weeks on the phone with him, he was telling me hed taken so many tablets with vodka, i rung his docs, the samaritans and my mum, My mum told me to ignore him, when he couldnt get hold of me he rung hers and she told him to stay away from me and leave me alone.

Hhavnt spoken to him since, he didnt kill himself though I do know that, imo its for attention, he knew he was losing me so turned on the emotional blackmail!

She should just ignore him, and move on x x x

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