worried sick about my dh

[Blandmum]

he was ill in the summer, a gastic bug, a really nasty one. He lost a load of weight, and now moths down the line he still isn't 100% right. He sufferes from indigestion, his tummy is still a bit swolen, and he just looks so thin.

I'm worried sick that his leukemia has something to do with it.

He has seen 2 different gps and they say it is OK, he even got checked out my the hospital. It is crazy, but I can't shift the worry that he is really ill and this is the srt of him getting sicker.

I al him a douzen times a day if he is OK, it must be driving him mad, it is driving me mad.

i just don't know what to do

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, MB, it must be horrible to be so worried all the time. You say your dh has been to Africa - has he been seen by a Dr experienced in Tropical Medicine? Ime, ordinary GP's are not au fait with illnesses picked up abroad. Best wsihes.

his GP refered him to the hospital, and he was checked out there by the GI team.

For a while they thought he might aslo have malaria, but all the etsts came back negative

martianbishop - I absolutely understand your fear of patient groups, my mum wouldn't join one for the same reason. However you could ring them and tell them your problem and say you don't want to join a patient group and see if they can suggest anything else.

Thank you for all the kind words ladies. I think I will contact my GP next week and get a referal by for some more CBT.

this can't go on.

mb- I do think you need an outlet- somewhere to get rid of all your worry etc to kind of splurge regularly. It can't be your dh for obvious reasons, would be lovely to find someone in the same situation as you. Internet groups???- (with a view to finding a friend- I met my friend who lives just round the corner, who is in a similar situation on the internet- we ring each other almost every day - often a weekends as well, and often its just to offload). I really think that someone you can phone immediately and just say everything that is on your mind- and you know they understand because they're living it too- can be sanity saving, but counsellors can be good as well.

oh cross posted. CBT sounds good! In the meantime the Scottish NHS provide a free CBT website (not sure of the address but it will be googleable). Meant to be good. open to anyone to use.

MB,sorry you have these concerns.It is inevitable that you are anxious if dh has had these previous health worries.

I assume your dh is still being followed by his Haematology consultants? I am sure they must do regular profiles and full blood counts to keep a check on his counts?If you are concerned it may be worth ringing and getting a clinic appointment to recheck his bloods again,to set your mind at rest,if your dh wishes .Or contact the nurse specialists and talk to them.

Might also be worth chasing up GP and asking for a repeat gastro referral,if you feel this would help and are still concerned.

I have nursed a number of patients who have lived with CLL for MANY MANY years.I can fully understand at times it must feel like living on a timebomb,but treatments are continually improving.

I am sure the consultants will not mind re- checking his bloods, even if he is not due to have them done for a bit ,if they are lovely people like the ones I work for.

Hope your dh is feeling better soon.

he sees them every 6 months....was every 3 but they think he is on a slow progression so they moved it to every 6 months.

He has a marrow match in his younger brother. But he is subclinical atm

MB - try and talk your fears through with someone and if CBT helps then do contact someone ASAP. MIL has non-Hodgkins and one of the first signs was a persistent cough - I worry every time she has a cold that it is not a cold. She has her bloods taken evry fortnight and I am on tenterhooks until we have the results. You are in my thoughts.

If you are really worried I'm sure they would see him in clinic,does he have a nurse specialist?They may be a point of contact.Ours will see and counsel relatives too.

You sound well informed,sure you have come across the Luekaemia Research Fund website.This can be helpful,but sometimes,I agree,support groups and websites can provide too much information to worry about!

Leukaemia,even,sorry,typo!

mb, do agree with you and others about it being helpful to get some counselling in order to live with the chronic worry that goes with chronic illness: I had chronic liver disease for years, and it helped both of us when my dh went for counselling about it. I was so relieved he was getting some support, and not just giving it, IYSWIM.

But also, in case it helps at all...just wanted to tell you that my neice came back from Africa a couple of months ago with some sort of (so the docs decided) virus: runs to the point of dystentery and malnutrition. She's been checked out for everything from amoebic infection to colonoscopy for Crohns (she has spina bifida, so they tend to be extra careful) and NOTHING has shown up. But she is thin, pale, and still has the runs two months later - something isn't 100% right there, either.

I don't put her condition together with something in the past, because there isn't anything in the past - but if she'd had leukaemia, I'm sure I'd be finding it very difficult not to link the two, emotionally if not logically.

As it is, maybe your dh really has picked up something similar...which has nothing at all to do with his medical history...? Sounds like its not long till his next consultant appointment anyway, and dreadful as those weeks must be, hopefully you will get some reassurance out of it this time.

One of my close friends has had hairy cell leukaemia, and is in remission, but knows it will come back and need re-treating. Living with chronic illness is no picnic, and in some ways I think her partner has had a harder time of it than she has - you really are entitled to some support for yourself, hope you get it. xxx