My friend has breast cancer, please help me help her.

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A another mum at my DDs has just been told she needs a mastectomy and probably chemotherapy. Does any one have any suggestions about how I ans another 2 mums who have become friends can help her? She has 2 children dd 5 and ds 7. My mum went through this 2 years ago but different home situation so feel a bit lost.

sorry should say at my dds school

So sorry to hear this. If you go on the Breast Cancer Care site there is a friends/relatives forum. I am sure you would get very good advice about how you could help her.

You all sound like lovely friends and i am sure this will be a comfort for her.

Had a friend at dds school who was diagnosed 2 years ago. She appreciated people just being there for her- not shying away, and practical help with kids when treatment had made her tired etc. Also, we all celebrated when she had good news with scans etc, and emphasised those small triumphs to keep her spirits up.

So sorry to hear this. It's such a grim thing for everyone it touches, isn't it? Casts a very long shadow.

Thanks to both of you for answering. I have had a quick look at the site metingpotofgoo and it looks really good - thanks.

Hope your friend is doing well Orlando.

Once again I feel so bloody useless just as when my mum was ill. She's great now by the way.

Helping with kids, cooking and shopping, school runs etc. She won't be able to lift after surgery and will feel sick and exhausted while having chemo. Organise a rota between you, once you know what other help and support she has got. The kids will cope better if they know who is collecting them from school etc on a given day.

Also, (was thinking about this when going round sainsbury's) when you talk to her and ask how she is, tactfully ask if she'd like you to pass on news. I know how difficult my friend found it to have to repeat the same things over and over when all the mums asked how she was. I think it would be easier if someone was making an active effort to keep people informed, so other mums know what to say. (ie, 'Was so pleased to hear that your chemo's going well' or whatever.)

I'm afraid my friend was one of the few didn't make it.