I have been ill for around 18 months. Initially I was very ill and was in hospital and they thought I may die. I have been told if it comes back it will probably kill me. My problem is I am getting so down with my empty life. I can't work. I started volunteering but began to feel to unwell to carry on so had to cut right down. Somedays I wonder what the point of carrying on is and if it wasn't for my children, well. I work really hard at staying cheerful and don't really talk about it and to be honest most of those close to me have struggled with the concept of not getting better and I think they are relieved I don't talk about it! People keep saying well you were better than you were, which I am but my life is still a million miles from where it was. I lost a great career that I will never be able to return to and I feel lost. I am sorry this post is so rambling. I just wondered how do people cope when they are ill for a long time. I try and look at all I have rather than all I have lost but sometimes it's hard and today is one of those times. Thanks.