Do you look after yourselves as well as the kids?

[Nellybird]

I have been thinking about this recently. Do I look after myself? Probably not. Is this why it results in me feeling tired, sad, lonely? I am off work this week due to having stress causing palpitations and anxiety. So that's rubbish. Especially the anxiety bit, I hate it.
I think as Mum's we can dedicate so much of ourselves providing everything our kids need to be happy and fully satisfied people that we neglect ourselves. But what is the answer? How do I do it?
My kids are stimulated intellectually (school), get regular exercise (school and after school clubs), see there friends (school and play dates), eat well and healthily (school and I make sure they have a good and varied diet, not too much fat or sugar, some treats), have the love, hugs and support they need, go to bed at a reasonable time and get a good nights sleep.
The trouble is I don't apply the same rules to myself and I probably feel like crap for it.
But when I am putting so much effort into caring for them, (don't get me wrong as I wouldn't change this for the world), how do I look after myself well to?
Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

Sorry you feel like this, Nelly. I've also recently been feeling like I'm the bottom of my own list of priorities. Like of all the responsibilities and chores I have on my plate, getting off my butt and doing some exercise is just another one to juggle, re prioritize and (mainly) skip. I'm interested to see if anyone has felt like this and come out the other side!

On the whole yes I think I do and I think one wy of achieving it is by making health a family affair. I do the meal planning so we more or less eat the same food. My boys are older now but we early had biscuits, snacks, crisps or junk food in the house. It wasn't banned, we just didn't have it.

With regard to exercise, again it was a family affair. Weekends we would go to the Lake District or Yotkhire Dales hiking and cycling and we would go swimming one night a week. Now that they are 15 and nearly 19 they do their own sports but we still cycle and ski together. I work full time ( always have) but have more free time so I make an effort to see friends and do things I like doing which is good for one mental health.

I can't see why you can't apply the same rules you have for the kids on yourself. Surely if they re eating well why aren't you?

Have you signed up for the change4life programme. That is fmily orientated and can have a lot of good tips.

I do eat what the kids eat, healthy dinner etc, but then I eat crap when they're not about.
I intend on doing some exercise, but then feel too tired or don't have time.
I have friends, but only see them once a month as everyone is always busy.
I work, but it makes me stressed rather than stimulated.
I know what would be good for me, but find hiding away from it easier.
I think I probably need a big life change, to refocus. But am finding it hard to motivate myself and actually do it.
I agree with tropical horse. It would be good to hear how other people have done it.

Thanks, flipchart. xx

Why not just make 1 small change everyone and again rather than feeling that you have to do everything at once.
Eg maybe start with the food and reduce the crap you buy.if its not in the house you can't eat it or maybe one morning at the wend you and the kids go exploring your local area or go geocaching or cycling.

Work onone thing before you introduce the next change.

I have been feeling a little by like that lacking energy and having mood swings but recently changed my diet and started eating healthier There's too many details to go into on the forum but pls email me if u r interested [email protected]

I agree with starting small.

Limit crap to twice a week? Or ditch it and treat yourself to lunch out once a week with the £ you save?

Ask your GP if your NHS trust offers mindfulness courses. I started one to help with anxiety over an impending bereavement and am finding it very good. Just 10-20 minutes a day doing this is very calming and refreshing.

Have one night a week that's reading night? Can be books, magazines or anything you like.

Face the fear-make lists of all the hard stuff, think about how to deal with one thing at a time.