nerve damage from childbirth

[esthome]

Hi
I gave birth around 9months ago to my second child. What should have been a happy time for me is actually the worst time of my life. I have been suffering from immense rectal pressure, pain and vaginal pain. Consultant has told me I'm an unusual case which doesn't make me feel any better. He believes I have pudendal nerve damage causing my symptoms. It literally feels like my bottom has a weight in there. Unfortunately I had some vaginal scar tissue removed and this has aggravated me even more. I am on amitriptyline which has taken the edge of the pain but not the dull ache in my bottom.

I can't find anyone who has been through this or similar. I'm just putting this out there to see if anyone has been through this, what helped and if things did improve. I am never comfortable and I am so miserable. I bottle everything up as I have to be active, happy for my children but inside I am so sad. I haven't had sex with my other half as it would be too tender. I have been told nerves take a long time to heal but I'm worried that this is how I'm going to feel forever more and I will never be happy again.

I had nerve damage too but not like yours. In my case I had a 3 day labour, back to back with excruciating agony instead of contractions (I know the difference now that I've had a second vaginally birth). I suffered complete incontinence for many months pp (full on adult nappies, unwilling to leave the house) . It took a long time to heal (about 7 months) , so by 9 months pp you should have an improvement, I'd have thought.

That feeling of a lead weight in your bottom, I had that for several months pp too but went as my pelvic floor strengthened (I saw a women's physio because of my incontinence which, after 7 months improved to just common or garden stress incontinence). I have a prolapse or two which also contributes to painful feeling in the nethers, now only when when I'm on my period and I have to stand for any length of time.

Have you been checked out by a gynaecologist or seen physio for your pelvic floor? During my assessment I was pleased to notice that quality of life affected by sexual problems was considered, for example. The physio should be able to measure your pelvic floor function. Improvement there did reduce the heavy pain for me. Maybe it holds your insides up better.

I do hope things get better for you, OP. It's bloody awful to have to deal with this on top of the pressures of a baby. It makes me want to shake those naive first timers who worry about whether they might poo during delivery. If only they knew how much worse there is to worry about. How some women have a terrible aftermath with birth injuries but can't really talk about it. How you're just supposed to smile and say that as long as the baby is healthy, that's the main thing. Like the mother's wellbeing is now not important.

All I can say is for me, nerves did heal very slowly and a stronger pelvic floor helped with the pain. I hope it does for you, too.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I absolutely cannot stand the heaviness in my bottom. I did see a women's health physio who said I was a weak 1, 5 being the strongest. I have seen a gynacologist and colorectal consultant as I'm at my wits end. I do have a small rectocele but so they both tell me, many women do and are not troubled in the same way I am. That's why the colorectal consultant believes the pudendal nerve problem is aggravating things. I regret having the vaginal procedure to remove scar tissue as it has made things worse but I just wanted to feel normal in one area. I was not told it could exacerbate anything but the gynacologist says he has never had anybody react in the way I have. I just have a bad feeling with all this but I have to keep positive for the sake of my children. I know nerves can take up to two years to heal so here is hoping there is still room for improvement.

Hi,
Did things ever improve for you OP? @esthome
I’m having similar issues - constant pain in the pelvic area, concentrated near my epi scar. I’m convinced it’s nerve damage. Had an awful forceps delivery.
Looking for some hope things will improve.
Thanks x