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Original poster

Prominent Ears!!!

8 replies

rockchick · 21/04/2004 18:35

Hello everyone, I only discovered this website last week and this is my first message - here goes......Has anyone had their child's ears pinned back? If so, at what age? My son (sorry don't know the shorthand for that yet) is five and already getting unwanted attention at school from a few older, nasty individuals. He's gone through a lot in his young life and I don't want any of his sunny disposition threatened by bullies. He needs an operation to bring one of his testicles down as well! Any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:

lou33 · 21/04/2004 19:34

Hello Rockchick, welcome to Mumsnet .

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but just wanted to say hello, and that I am sad to hear your ds (son) is having a tough time. Hopefully somoene can come on and advise you.

JJ · 21/04/2004 19:51

Hi rockchick, no advice, but I remembered something on this earlier. There is a thread here and the relevant post is the first one by wickedstepmother (now known as WSM). Go down to the bottom and then scroll up. I think it's the one most relevant to your situation.

Hope that helps and welcome to MN.

ps, shorthand for son is "ds", ie dear son. d-anything is usually dear-(partner,husband,son,daughter..)

Original poster

rockchick · 21/04/2004 21:16

Thanks chaps. I will check out the other thread.

OP posts:

Janh · 21/04/2004 21:42

Oh, rockchick, I noticed your post on jmg1's thread and meant to say something then but got sidetracked and then he disappeared - welcome to mumsnet and I'm so sorry for what you and your ds have been through, I can't imagine how it feels, and the barking ILs can't help - anyway glad you have found us and I hope you'll be happy here!

Can't help re the ears I'm afraid - ds1 who is 15 has a contemporary at primary school who had ears at 90 degrees, he had them fixed surgically, can't remember details but will ask him when he returns (has gone for a run in the rain). Have you spoken to school about bullying?

Can't help about the undescended testicle either...poor lamb, he has had a hard time.

stace · 23/04/2004 15:56

Hi everyone, this is a really odd subject for me as i will explain. a) i have one sticky out ear and was teased mercilously as a child and still have a slight complex about it, ie. never wear hair up without wispy bits to cover it. As a child my mother made me wear my hair tied back tight everyday to school and was of the opinion that it was character building. FWIW IMO that is total utter bullsh*t it merely assisted in encouraging a low self esteem and self image.
b) my dss has really bad sticky out ears that his mothers side of the family have always teased in a very 'loving'(if that is truly possible which i personally doubt!) my dss has developed a big bravado thing about them, he plays with them alot and does nothing to disguise them, he often makes self deprecating remarks and he is now 12 and we have 2 or 3 times over the past 3 years asked gently whether we would like to have them pinned back. He seems to have been completely brainwashed by his mother not to have it done. So we just keep re-iterating that we love him dearly as he is if he ever changes his mind we will support him fully.

c) Now my DS age 4 is developing them and has taken to playing and pulling them like my dss and the quandry is to pin or not to pin!! and i can honestly say that for me, i couldnt do it unless he wanted it and yet i completely understand that if he does want it then the pyscological damage has been done???

So sorry to not give you any real advice but maybe the dialogue here may help

Millie1 · 23/04/2004 21:40

This is an odd subject for me too as I had dreadful sticky out ears, and although I was never bullied I was horribly self-conscious ... and got sick of having my hair in a bob to cover them. I finally got them pinned back at the grand old age of .... 31!!!! It was the best thing I ever did and did my self confidence wonders ... suddenly I could walk down the street in the wind with my hair blowing back and look up instead of keeping my eyes pinned to the ground so as people wouldn't notice!

I am absolutely paranoid about my children inheriting them - so far, so good-ish ... DS1's stick out a wee bit but not much and DS2 is too young to judge but it doesn't stop me worrying about them ... I'd find it a very hard decision to make regarding putting them under anaesthetic but if they asked to have it done, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment.

Good luck and I hope you get the bullies sorted cos that's just beyond horrible.

stace · 26/04/2004 11:46

Well done millie1, i wish i had the guts to get mine done but i think if i started with the ears it wouldnt stop there,

Carys · 17/05/2007 14:26

I too am in the same boat - my son is nearly five and has v prominent ears. He is sensitive and I am worried about him being teased etc. Thing is, although i think he would probably thank me in the future for having them 'pinned back' how can I explain to him why I want him to get it done? Can't bear the thought of the confusion on his face - don't want him to think he's less than perfect (which he obviously is!)

Sorry, this isn't advice just sympathy and a need to discuss this with someone else...are you considering surgery for your son's ears? (i do know that the op for testicles is v simple and common)

Thanks

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