Is DH depressed?

[penelopeparker]

Any advice please....
DH had very bad flu some years back which left him with PV fatigue syndrome. He saw 2 neurologists and they both said the same. He was offered old style ADs- tricyclic ones- to help him with the tiredness but he refused and has worked his way back to fitness by running, gym, lifestyle things. He's been 90% better but recently had some symptoms. These are feelings of tiredness in the early evening, poor sleep and feeling low. I have to admit that things are not great between us - our sex life is non existent but that is because we have drifted apart in many ways and it's a relationship issue not a performance one- he can and does get erections easily and often. I am the one with the 'wobble' re. our relationship and I honestly don't know if his symptoms are the result of him feeling down about us, or if he has an underlying problem. His mother ( no longer alive) suffered from severe depression for many years and so did his father at times. DH is adamant he doesn't want to resort to pills, partly because his mother was on so many,and I feel guilty that our relationship is the cause of him feeling as he does. We are in the throes of deciding whether to separate or have another go, so I can't see the wood for the trees.

Have you discussed counselling? Either as a couple or individually? I can understand the hesitance to use AD's (altho I am a convert now as they made a life saving difference to me) but I think exercise and lifestyle alone might not have been enough. Talking therapy can make a huge difference, in particular addressing why he is feeling low.

Thank you. We have mentioned in off and on. I had some counselling a while back to discuss my own feelings about the marriage and things have kind of tottered on a bit in limbo. I have asked him why he feels low and he's not sure. He seems to find it hard to separate feeling tired by the end of a day and feeling low. He is quite OCD and one of his behaviours he wants to try to change is that because it's something I find very hard to live with. He is a hoarder and a bit obsessive. We thought he might have Aspergers but I don't think he has though he's much more that way than I am. He was thinking about counselling to try to work out how he can 'let go' of certain behaviours- he very much likes routine and has little spontaneity.