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I can't sleep and I'm sad.

9 replies

ktab · 06/01/2015 03:05

Baby (he is 9 months) is amazing but I'm struggling to sleep and it's making me really unhappy. Breastfed/baby-led. Any advice?

OP posts:
Millionairerow · 06/01/2015 19:08

Do some expressing and try and get hubby to take over for a night or two. In fact, moving onto a bottle might not be a bad idea now. your baby is getting on - it'll be harder to stop if you don't. I ended up BF till 11 months and I literally had to go away for a few day son business for the baby to stop BF. Good luck.

walkardaniel · 07/01/2015 07:26

I think you are affected by Isomnia and this problem is increasing in most people these days. You should follow sleep therapies and you should go to bed only when you're sleepy, if you can't sleep then get out of bed.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 07/01/2015 08:37

OP I have exactly the same issue and it's really ruining my life at the moment. DD is 14 months and now only wakes once or twice in the night but I only manage 2-3 hours sleep a night. I follow all the online advice for good sleep habits, it makes absolutely no difference at all. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in 24 since I was around 6 months pregnant. My DH keeps trying to get me to go to the Dr but I've been around 8 times in the past with the same issue and just get given print outs from google with advice like 'don't use screens in bed' and 'have a warm milky drink'. No use at all!

MatildaTheCat · 07/01/2015 08:43

OP, you don't give much detail but poor sleep can also be a sign of depression and could, of course make you sad. Worth having a chat with your GP or HV. Nine months isn't too late for pnd.

Hope you feel better soon.

SashaKerr · 07/01/2015 08:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SashaKerr · 07/01/2015 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DougalTheCheshireCat · 07/01/2015 09:57

I've had this. it was really starting to kill me but just in the last few weeks we've managed to consolodate a period of good health and night weaning to produce a properly sleeping through DD (she's 18 months). It still took several weeks for me to be able to go back to sleep if I woke (whether woken by her, or on my own).

Things I've learned:

My insomnia is a manifestation of chronic overtiredness. So taking action as soon as i can to break that cycle really helps.

i follow the recommendations in the back of the No Cry Sleep Solutions book. Doing the recommended stuff, especially sleep cramming (going to bed early, napping during the day whenever possible) does really help.

For me, so too do some sleep remedies. At the moment i take a valerian tinicture every night as i go to bed (got it from Holland and barret, I follow the instrucitons on the bottle). It helps me to sleep well, it is also helping to dial down my nerves which were starting to feel like they were permanently set on red alert after a stressful year of becoming a mum / moving house / being very ill ( a week in hospital when DD was 4 months) / going back to work in a new job when DD was 7 months. So when i did wake up it was almost always with a panicky jump.

In the last few months, i've also taken the Boots over the counter sleep drug, I think they call it Sleep-eze or something to help break the cycle. it comes in two strengths, I have the lower one, and only take one pill, sometimes. At the height of my insomnia I have once or twice taken a second pill in the middle of the night (which is within the dosage recommendations). Every now and then I've taken it several nights in a row but I have learned that if I have an insomnia bout (my problem isn't going to sleep, but that if I wake in the night I don't go back to sleep) if I take it as soon as that starts, just the once or perhaps a couple of nights of it breaks the vicious cycle of over tiredness. And then I stop (the worry with all sleep inducing drugs is that they can be addictive).

I am still breastfeeding DD. The leftlets for all these things will say do not use while breastfeeding. After a week in hospital when was on hard core antibiotics and we carried on feeding, I've got much more relaxed about those recommendations which in general mean 'we've done no testing so don't blame us if you have problems'. You must make your own decision, but I can report DD is fine.

Just this last week I have started sleeping seven hours stretches with just the valerian. This is the first time this has happened since I was pregant, so getting on for two years ago.

OP, you don't necessarily have to stop breast feeding. if you want to carry on, you could consider night weaning (we started this at a year, but looking back maybe could have done it more easily a bit earlier - about hte stage that you are now).

On the other hand, a well rested mum is happier and much more able to be a better mum. So if moving on from breast feeding would help you achieve that, do it.

Also bear in mind almost all young children go through periods of night waking. DD has only just started sleeping through now, but then has almost all her teeth. So from age 8 months to now she has been teething (and so night waking) more often than not, so that really drove my insomnia. it won't necessarily be that way for you - you might get a few months of good sleeping soon, if so use that to try and recharge and restore yourself, so you can get through if another period of night time distruption comes a long.

GeorgeTheGiraffe · 07/01/2015 19:22

You're not alone OP. I've not been told I have insomnia but I reckon I have it. Sometimes takes me ages to get to sleep, and most nights I wake a few times, sometimes taking over an hour to get back off again.
I too have bouts of feeling really low and have linked it to sleep deprivation. My mood is so much better (normal) if I've had decent sleep for a few nights.
The only solution I've found (and it's a temporary one) is to sleep in a separate room to my dh. Not ideal but I just don't seem to be able to bed share and unfortunately our room isn't big enough for 2 single beds :( not sure what's going to happen long term

ktab · 17/01/2015 22:38

Thank you for the kind advice, everyone! I hadn't realised I had received any replies until now. Since my post I have tried taking Kalms and improving my bedtime routine. I didn't mention it but I have a really horrid problem with teeth grinding/gritting and this wasn't helping the situation, it has literally caused numerous infections and so much pain but I am in the process of sorting this, at a cost of 5 teeth out and £2000 for braces to correct my bite. After explaining to the doctor about my teeth he suggested seeing a psychiatrist... Obviously the teeth grinding is connected to stress, stress that causes sleep deprivation, sleep deprivation which causes stress (cycle)! So, in short, those of you who suggested stress, I think you might have been right, haha. Here's hoping I get some help/answers!

Thank you again! Thanks

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