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Original poster

Would you write a letter of complaint?

35 replies

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 14/10/2006 11:15

Just wanted to know what people would do in this situation.

DS2 (8) had a very bad cold last weekend. He had asthma when younger, but has had no asthmatic symptoms for 3.5 years.

On Monday his cold got worse. By Monday evening he was coughing badly, and starting to wheeze.

During the early hours of Tuesday morning he was vomiting, coughing almost constantly and wheezing. I put him in the bath at 4am to try and relieve the symptoms with steam, and noticed that his chest was being sucked in as he struggled to breathe.

We took him straight to casualty and told the receptionist that he was having difficulty breathing.

The triage nurse came out after about 7 minutes, didn't even look at DS2, but said to me "why didn't you go the out of hours doctors instead?".

I replied that my son was having difficulty breathing, and that I considered that to be an emergency.

She sighed and said "I suppose I'd better have a look at him then".

Needless to say, once she examined him, she saw how ill he was, he was on oxygen and given steroids within the next few minutes.

Her attitude didn't improve much though, and we were made to feel like we were being a real burden to her. She got cross with me because I asked what medicine they were giving him (the steroids), and when I asked if my DH and DS1 could join us in the room, she said "just do what you like."

The department was empty apart from us - and there was no-one else in the waiting room.

DS2 ended up in the children's ward for three nights, and came home yesterday. He was on continuous oxygen for over 48 hours, plus nebulisers, inhalers and steroids.

DH thinks we should write a letter to the children's ward, saying how great they have been, and commmenting how brilliant they were in comparison to A & E.

My mum thinks we should leave it, as DS2 is now home safe and A & E might have had a very busy and traumatic shift before we arrived.

I want to complain about the A & E nurse; I would have been quite happy to have been given a lecture about using A & E resources if she had examined my child and deemed him well enough to not need hospital treatment. But she hadn't even looked at him when she made her commments.

We were made to feel like time-wasters, and this was not what we needed when we were already so scared and worried about our child.

What would you do?

OP posts:
hunkermunster · 14/10/2006 11:21

I'd complain.

Hope he's better now.

WideWebWitch · 14/10/2006 11:22

I probably would write. They will be obliged to investigate it and she may get some 'feedback' as a result.
Glad he's better, how scary.

SoupDragon · 14/10/2006 11:23

I would probably write to "express my disappointment" at the treatment frm A&E rather than complain IYSWIM.

BATtymumma · 14/10/2006 11:23

i would complain too.

poppiesinaline · 14/10/2006 11:34

I would complain. Regardless of how 'busy' the A&E might have been previous to your turning up and regardless to how 'tired' the nurse felt, she was at work - she should have been professional - she was not. You dont need someone treating you like that when your child is ill. I think the hospital need to know. They will have to look into it and the nurse in question will know of your complaint. Maybe next time someone turns up for help she may be a bit more courteous.

Original poster
HumphreyComfreyCushion · 14/10/2006 12:12

poppiesinaline, that's how I feel too.

I was really shocked by her behaviour TBH, as the other medical staff we have met have all been extremely professional and kind.

This woman didn't do anything to try and reassure us, or our child.

OP posts:
edam · 14/10/2006 12:21

Yes, do complain. I did once and was reassured that they had brought the matter up at a staff meeting. This sort of unprofessional behaviour can only be addressed if you complain.

And even if ds had not required hospital treatment, no-one should lecture you - just give you information about when it's OK to treat at home and when you need to seek medical attention.

edam · 14/10/2006 12:22

Glad poor ds is on the mend though, must have been very frightening for all of you.

SPACEdoutzombieCADET · 14/10/2006 12:48

what an unpleasant experience, there was no need for it and as parents with an ill child, you were looking for reassurance.
write to the hospital concerned outlining what has happened or you can contact the patient advice and liason service(PALS), who may also be able to resolve your complaint or at least give you advoice with regards to making a complaint.

TwigTwoolett · 14/10/2006 12:52

complain ... and demand a response too

write to children's ward to praise them separately

write to hospital big-bods about A&E though ... your mother is wrong .. the complaint is to stop them doing it agian

themoon666 · 14/10/2006 13:24

I would write to the Director of Nursing tbh. I bet that nurse's colleagues find her a nightmare to work with. I used to work nights with a nurse who was a right bitch to the patients. I was only a student and too 'green' to complain about her myself. I used to pray the patients or their relatives would name and shame her.

mears · 14/10/2006 13:31

Definitely write and complain. Nurse was out of order and needs her behaviour improved.

beckybraAAARGHstraps · 14/10/2006 13:32

I would write a letter and explain why you felt you were treated badly. When I had a miscarriage I had a very unhappy experience in the day ward of the maternity hospital, but I didn't do anything about it at the time. Three years on I still think about it, and wish I had done something. I agree with SoupDragon. There's complaining and complaining. You should let them know.

Original poster
HumphreyComfreyCushion · 14/10/2006 14:41

Thanks for your comments.

There will be one letter re A & E, and a big box of chocs and a card for the children's ward.

DS2 still very wheezy today though - so will hold off on the letter until he's well.

God knows how Nurse Doom would react if we have to go back AFTER we send the letter!

OP posts:
edam · 14/10/2006 14:53

Becky, it's not too late you know. This obviously still causes you distress - writing a complaint may get rid of it, somehow. Did for me. i think the thing I complained about was not deliberate nastiness, just a lack of thinking on the part of the midwife. The complaint meant that was brought up and she had to think about her behaviour, hopefully making things better for her future patients. Sending the letter, and getting a good response, allowed me to stop worrying about it and get on with the rest of my life.

ProfYaffle · 14/10/2006 15:43

I agree with Becky. We encountered a similar attitude from ambulance men who refused to take my dh to hospital, a few hours later he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. 2.5yrs later I still wish we'd complained if only to make sure that same crew aren't making similar mistakes today. If that nurse carries on with her current attitude who knows what she might fail to diagnose to the future?

Donbean · 14/10/2006 15:52

I would complain.
I feel quite strongly about this because its people like her that give nurses a bad name.
Regardless of what has gone on before you, there is no excuse.

moondog · 14/10/2006 16:09

Hmmmmm.
Doesn't sound good,but you were seen in 'seven minutes'
That's not bad.

They are human.

Original poster
HumphreyComfreyCushion · 14/10/2006 17:02

Moondog, I see your point - seven minutes is an acceptable time scale, but that is not the main issue for me.

I know that if I hadn't been extremely firm in my response to her she would have sent us home to phone the out-of-hours doctor.

If someone less determined (or less sleep-deprived and therefore less bolshy) than me had arrived asking for help, they may have not demanded to be seen once challenged by this nurse.

In this instance, it would have been disastrous.

Hospital staff are only human, but they also have a duty of care.

This nurse was lethargic, rude, grumpy, unprofessional and unwilling to help.

The place for someone with those traits is not as a triage nurse in an accident and emergency department.

I will write and complain, because if this is a one-off, that is bad enough.

If it is a regular occurrence, she is a danger to her patients.

OP posts:
bewilderbeast · 14/10/2006 17:27

I would complain and in my letter of complaint I would request a written explanation of what is being done about this woman's poor attitude and rudeness and give them a timescale to respond in. We are all often pushed for time and find ourselves short tempered but when dealing with the public and in particular where the person you are dealing with is obviously upset frightened and concerned we should show politeness and compassion.

edie123 · 14/10/2006 17:37

Complain. Absolutely. Im a nurse and this is absolutely disgusting. You did the right thing even if nothing was found to be wrong. COMPLAIN NOW!!!

SPACEdoutzombieCADET · 14/10/2006 23:02

im a nurse, although its now 3 years since i worked, but the nurses behaviour was disgusting, there was no excuse for her attitude, even if a nurse beleived that you were a timewaster, you still treat that patient equally to everyone and tbh it should have been obvious that you werent timewasters if your ds was having difficulty breathing.

CountessDracula · 14/10/2006 23:07

God I would complain for a tenth of that

There is NO excuse for that attitude

threelittlepumpkins · 14/10/2006 23:08

Oh I absolutely would, no doubt about it. What a horrible experience for you, hope your ds is feeling better now.

Original poster
HumphreyComfreyCushion · 14/10/2006 23:10

thank you, DS2 is feeling much better now, though still a bit wheezy.

He's now expecting to be waited on hand and foot though, after all the attention he got in hospital!

We'll definitely write to the hospital.

OP posts: