Tips on dealing with the 3am mind churn please

[TheGirlOnTheLanding]

I'm putting this in general health as I'm not sure whether it should be in mental health or menopause!

I've never considered myself an especially anxious person, but on the occasions something is playing on my mind, usually work-related, I get that wide awake at 3am, worries churning round my head, that I'm sure is quite common.

Lately though it's happening a lot, and it's worry over stuff that seems perfectly manageable in daylight, yet I just can't seem to get perspective on it at night. The same anxious panicky thoughts go round and round and won't shift. I'm also waking earlier and earlier, and getting physical symptoms (stomach pain, and shivery panic) that I've never had before. I've tried visualising them swept away on a wave, and relaxing each part of my body, but this doesn't work.

I'm mid forties and pretty sure I'm perimenopausal, so it may be related to that, but with the tummy symptoms I also wondered about IBS (I know that's anxiety related, or can be.) However, as I am currently getting as little sleep as I did when my children were small babies I really need practical solutions to help me switch off the brain churn and get some rest! Any takers?

Work seems to be a trigger/cause/focus for many of us.

Am I more demanding of myself? Are clients and employers less tolerant of mistakes?

When I'm awake I also plan what I'll do with a lottery win. First thing: pay for a locus, soon don't have to work my notice. I do feel if I didn't have to work, particularly in this industry, I could cope

I do A to Z. Of absolutely fucking everything.

Last night it was :-

Fruit
Veg
Capital cities
Countries
Birds
African animals
Olympic sports
Areas of Manchester
Towns in England
Girls names

It was a baaaad night.

And I don't work.

My strategy for dealing with the middle of the night brain fuzz is, I imagine myself standing on a platform at a train station, when a train comes I put all my thoughts onto the train and wave goodbye to them. If the thoughts try to come back, I imagine the train coming back and just speeding past. The thoughts are not allowed off the train.

My other strategy is to pick up my phone or iPad and try to read a kindle book.

My sleep is dreadful when I am on call. I often dream that my work phone is ringing and sit bolt upright in bed on high alert. It takes ages to fall asleep again.

I think my 'strategies' have probably already been mentioned but on the off chance this helps:

1. Write stuff down. If you keep being jolted awake with 'what about' thoughts, writing them down and promising yourself that you'll deal with the issue in the morning can sometimes help.

1. Find the most boring podcast/audiobook you can and listen to it. For me, quite a lot of 19th century fiction is a good incentive to fall asleep rather than keep listening.

1. Accept that things are going to be tough for a while. Nevermind whether what you are worrying about is rationally worth fretting over. if you can accept that, for now, you are going through a rough patch, and give yourself a break, that may mean you are still fretting, but at least you avoid the additional pressure of beating yourself up about it. Hope this helps helps.

I do sympathise, it's so horrible waking up and enduring mind churn about stuff that's quite manageable during the day. PPs have given loads of good tips. Mindfulness is great in all sorts of ways, not least because it allows you to understand that thoughts are just thoughts - a surprisingly new concept to me when I was first introduced to it! The body scan is a great way to relax and can often lull you off to sleep.

Getting up and writing a list can help - then you've unloaded the thoughts into a safe place and you can look at them in the morning.

You can tell your mind that you will think about this stuff at 0830 or 0900 or whenever you start work, and that now is not the time.

Boring lists and podcasts are good - also walking yourself down your high street or somewhere else you know really well - remembering the exact layout of the shops etc, the pillar boxes, the lamp posts - it's surprisingly absorbing!

"What would I do with a million pounds?" is always good - go into excruciatingly fine detail about exactly which holiday you would go on and how many bikinis you would need!

I suffer dreadfully with night wakings. I honestly can't remember the last time I 'slept through' podcasts are the way forward for me, I have loads downloaded, and just put the headphone in one side.
Earlier in the year I had a really good 'sleep hygiene' thing going on. So I would get up at 7am regardless of how much sleep I had.
Drink lots of water
Eat no processed food
No caffeine/alcohol
Don't get into bed before 10pm
(I'm a big bed lounger )
No eating after 6pm
Yoga for 10 mins before bed
No screens/tv/phone/iPod in bed.
Listen to meditation podcast in bed

I had nearly 4 glorious weeks of 7/8 hours sleep at a time, but the booze/crap food/lying in bed at 8pm crept back in again!

Radio 4 or audiobooks works for me - I like the archers myself.
You can lie and rest and listen to something outside of the mind churn
Also writing down the stuff that is bothering you in to a to do/to think about list (david allen GTD VG for this - usual HQ disclaimers apply)

OP, it would be good to rule out a physical cause first. Have you had your thyroid function checked ever? some of the symptoms you are describing could be caused by an over active thyroid. Perhaps soak to your gp.

Another vote here for podcasts or BBC world sevice/Radio 5 live - just loud enough to hear.

@TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet

Radio 4 or audiobooks works for me - I like the archers myself. You can lie and rest and listen to something outside of the mind churn Also writing down the stuff that is bothering you in to a to do/to think about list (david allen GTD VG for this - usual HQ disclaimers apply)

that I hadn't RTFT as clearly other people have suggested all of this.

Wishing you rest OP

Reading through the description the first thing I thought of was hormones. I realised when I was pregnant first time that whenever I was having a hormone spike I'd be lying awake thinking of stupid small stuff that never bothered me in daylight. After that I'd notice it when PMSing and now im very conscious of the effects hormones have on my feelings, particularly anxiety. It was one of the early symptoms that I was pregnant again.
I find it helps me to repeat to myself that it's probably just hormones - but then I'm tired all the time and once I've managed to persuade myself that's what it is I find it easier to let go and I can fall asleep more easily.

Just come back on the thread and realised there's been a flurry of new posts since I looked at it. Thanks for all these great suggestions, it sounds like there's a lot of us lying awake in the small hours trying to get our mind chatter under control. I'm definitely going to try to get back into mindfulness meditation, but I shall look for the night remedy stuff too. Rescue remedy got me through my driving test so I'm willing to give it a shot! However, the visualisation of shutting my worries in a box to deal with in the daylight did actually work for me last night - it may not always work, but I feel so much better having had a relatively unbroken sleep, and you've all given me lots of other ideas to try if that approach doesn't work next time. Thank you, and I hope Ubik and the others who have posted here with similar issues get some undisturbed rest soon.

Wishing everyone a peaceful night. I am lying here with a brain full of mush that will not settle down. My head is not big enough for all the stuff it is trying to contain. I will try to evict some of it.

Goodnight and sweet dreams.

Exit - I do lists too
Perfume, lush products, vegetables, fruits....

This happens to me quite a lot, I've always had trouble dropping off to sleep and have sometimes had really bad problems with it.

The thing that's dramatically helped me recently is earplugs! Partly I guess they must be shutting out sounds I wasn't aware of but which were disturbing my sleep, but what they also do is amplify the sound of my own breathing, which I've been finding really helpful for dropping off to sleep.

I've done "mindfulness of breathing" meditation practice in the past although haven't actively practiced for a while, but I seem to have retained the ability to make it work well enough to get me to sleep if all other background noise is eliminated and the sound of my own breathing is the only thing I can hear.

The best earplugs I've found (I tried loads) are really cheap too - they are called Hush Plugz and I've found them on Ebay and in I think Wilkos. They're narrow enough not to be uncomfortable and to go in easily, they block external noise really well (they almost completely eliminate DP's crazy snoring!), and they're only £2 or 3 for four pairs*.

Only trouble is I can't hear my alarm now when it goes off in the morning...

*I promise I don't work for the company or anything!

I go through all the characters in Pride and Prejudice (31 people inc the odd servant with a one liner), sometimes chronologically, sometimes by family group. If that doesn't work I go through the whole plot and if I miss a bit go back to the beginning.

Grrrr I've been awake on and off most nights for months thanks to lots going on at work and home. It's all made worse by the walrus snoring happily in my ear. How dare DH sleep when I can't.

Going to try these suggestions. Thanks for starting this thread.

Mind churn and I are old acquaintances. I've tried a lot of stuff suggested, although not podcasts. I've kind of resigned myself to living on 2 or 3 hrs sleep a night and a lot of caffeine and carbs.

Oooh - I've not done perfume.