Feeling worried about appt

[sunshine175]

Saw Dr for mix of symptoms. One is not sleeping because I need a wee. Ruled out urine infection and did internal. She referred me urgently for suspected cancer because of what they saw. I have always had ok smears. Im just really scared. Trying to tell self it will be ok. My appt is on xmas eve. I don't know if DH can come with me because we don't have anyone to have kids and they have SEN so only a few people could help, but are away / busy. Just finding it tough at night as not sleeping and I think it will be a long week. Have told a few people in real life but don't want to overshare as it will probably not be cancer. But Im screaming inside so Im oversharing here instead. Looking for reassurance that I know you can't give me. Just got to get through the next week

So sorry you are going through this and most happy to hold your hand. Could your DH at least come to the hospital with you and dc so you aren't completely alone? Also have you actually asked any friends or family to either child sit or come with you? In some circumstances arrangements can be changed to help someone out.

In the meantime, I expect you have plenty to keep you busy. Keep posting and hopefully someone with similar problems will be along.

Thanks for replying. Yes family away for Christmas at other end of country. Nearest other person 3hrs away and they have plans. The two friends who dd /ds would stay with can't help. They have tried to rearrange things but have had to say no (and are distressed at saying no). I just don't want dd to know yet which means we can't take her (teenager, asd and mental health issues). I have thought of one other person who I have asked today but it is a bit of long shot. Had blood tests today and going for scan on Tuesday. Struggling with pain, feeling sick today which I think is psychosomatic as so scared. Thanks for hand holding. Really appreciate it. Will keep posting.

If you can't leave the children could you find somebody to go with you?

If it is bad news you really need somebody with you because you don't take it in (been there, got the T shirt)

If there really is nobody you can take, you could ask one of the clinic nurses to come in with you and support you. Write down all your questions and even more importantly write down the answers. If a nurse does come in with you, you can check at the end that you have heard and understood everything correctly. It's extremely easy to mis-hear or misinterpret things when you are stressed and upset.' This could be x or y' can easily become 'this is x and it's very serious'.

Just ask at the reception desk when you arrive if you could speak to the nurse in charge and I'm sure she will help if she can.

Yes you are both right, I should try and take someone with me as it is looking dh can't be there. I just want him there, it feels ok for him to be there when I have examination etc. and someone not being family feels a bit weird. A friend from work has offered to come and I should say yes so she can come in to listen to what is said if it is bad news. I could see myself not taking anything in otherwise. I guess I'm just wanting dh there but my long shot has said no too as she is working. Just wish it was any day other than Christmas eve. Hoping so much I don't get bad news at Christmas.

If you need any kind of examination, particularly intimate, the couch would almost definitely be curtained off at the very least. If you do take a friend then it could surely not cause any offence to say you are a bit shy and would they mind waiting outside just for that bit?

Good luck. I really hope you don't get any worrying news over Christmas. Depending on what the problem is, I'm pretty sure that you would need further tests or investigations before a diagnosis anyway.

Im hoping for all is fine go away. But worried it might be all is not fine and more tests which will make me worry or xmas. Awake again with discomfort and then my brain starts.

I think it's ok to say to yourself that this is an incredibly stressful time and to be kind to yourself until 24th. It may or may not be serious but everyone is running around like headless chickens in the run up to Christmas so if you can carve out some relaxation time before your appointment, you'll be in a better frame of mind to listen. There are some good ideas upthread to deal with the practicalities of the appointment and it's a good idea to accept help where you can.

Yes you are right. I will make an effort to get some quiet time. Im worried because GP was so concerned but I know I have to focus on looking after myself and keeping as calm as I can.

I think my mum's GP told her recently that something like 19 out of every 20 referrals on the 2 week wait (i.e. suspected cancer) turn out not to be cancer. So the odds are in your favour.

I think you do need to accept that your DH can't come, but if a friend can be with you to write everything down and make sure you're not having to take it all in on your own, that will be a massive help.

I would think the most likely outcome next week is 'inconclusive, need more tests', so do prepare yourself as well for the possibility of not knowing anything definite this year.

Take care of yourself, and I'm keeping fingers crossed for next week.

That really helps. Im going to hold on to that statistic and go and ask my friend to come. Just have to get over my embarrassment at talking about bowel, periods and bladder stuff with someone I work with listening Im hoping that scan on Tuesday is clear and results will help them say all is ok but I suspect you are right that I will get a don't know.

Awake again. Not worrying as such but physically uncomfortable which woke me up. Scan later today. No breakfast or coffee...just clear fluids...really hoping all ok. I just want some good news. Work friend is coming with me on xmas eve to appt so not alone. Just want it over with.

Let us know how you get on? Glad friend is going with you.

Had good news after lots of seeing different people, another scan and more examinations. They are pretty sure it is not cancer. Need some more tests after Xmas and I may need some treatment but I don't mind that. Best Xmas present for me.

That is fantastic news, I'm so glad you got it before Xmas as well. Now, feet up - you need to relax after all that stress! Have a brilliant day tomorrow.

Im so pleased for you. Have a lovely Christmas!