PMS - has ruined the last 15 years of my life...How do I stop it ruining the next 20 years?????

[smellymelly]

Since being with my (wonderfully supportive) DP, I have become increasingly aware that my seriously bad moods which sometimes start as early as 2 days after I have ovulated, have ruined the last 15 years of my life, because most people I have known have never taken the time to understand what the hell was going on with me - that includes my Mother!!

I have tried the usual suppliments, of evening primrose, the B vitamins etc...which don't help at all.

I become 'evil', really no other word for it, completely irrational and at the time I do not care what the consequences are of the arguements that I pick with people (hope that makes sense).

Really need some help now...

We are talking about both of us seeing my GP but

1 - How do we get him to take us seriously, and
2- what can he do for me?

I also suffer from really bad stomach pains for the 2 weeks of every month between ovulation and my AF, this started about 10 years ago, and is definitely 'hormone related'. My mum and sister have also suffered with this, and we all got different responses from our GP's.

Mine has said it is probably Irritable Bowel, but how likely is this to be showing such a sure pattern. I never get it when I'm pregnant, and it doesn't come back till AF does.

Is there any link ??

Not convinced about IBS, but there may be a connection as I used to find that there were certain foods that I couldn't tolerate at certain times of the month, and that 9 times out of 10 I would get 'an upset tummy' during my period. Since having children that has changed, so I'm certain that it was hormonal.

Definitely both of you see your GP. If you're both aware of and convinced by the connection, then your GP is far more likely to be too. You could ask for referal to a gyne.

You could also ask, and I'm being quite serious here, for referal for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. You know (and I know, because I've been in similar situation to you) that your behaviour is caused by your hormones, by a physical condition and not by your mind, but by changing your automatic response to things you could modify your behaviour and make it more tolerable - for yourself, not just for others!

For example, I know that I cannot make any emotional decisions when I'm expecting my period, so I defer them, and I won't get drawn into any emotive discussions during 'the week before'. Even if I'm not due on, if I recognise my response to particular issues as being 'typical' then I back off. And when that happens I invariably come on within a week.

It's a learned response. It doesn't take away the PMS, but it makes it easier to live with. That's why I suggested CBT.

I have also heard women talking about a particular diet that they do for PCOS, and saying that it can help with PMS, but I don't know anything else about it, sorry.

Smellymelly - this is something Im just trying to tackle now. I had PND and after coming through that Ive been left with severe PMT for at least half the month. Good luck with your GP but if you dont get any joy try the Womens Nutritional Service based in Brighton. They specialise in PMT and menopause problems. There is a website and if you dont live anywhere near Brighton they do phone consultations. Have you also tried the association for PMS - again has a website.
If you cant find them from a search on google let me know and I'll find the addresses for you.
Kizziex

i own a health food shop and have a lot of customers sat the following have changed their lives!! the first one i'd try is called Agnus Castus or Chaste Tree and is great for balancing hormones, recommend getting a good brand such as Bioforce, Quest or Solgar...ask in your local health shop.

Jan de Vries Female Essence also good.

Can I just add something else in here. My PMT goes on well after my period has actually started (think Ive mentioned this before.)
Does anyone else find this or does it improve as soon as your period starts?
Kizziex

thats how it is for me, sometimes takes until a day after it's finished for me to feel better

Hi Linzoid - glad im not the only one.

Really interested to read about the CBT. how does everyone else cope with the totally irrational irritability. Any practical things that make it better?

Sorry smellymelly - dont mean to hijack your thread Hopefully we'll both get help from the answers. How are you the rest of the month?
Kizziex

I heard about CBT when I had PND. I was getting counselling through various sources, including a few very expensive sessions with an NLP counsellor, and I realised that CBT might be exactly what I need. Unfortunately, by the time I was asking for it, I was no longer ill enough to get it on NHS, and couldn't possibly afford it privately.

What I learned from the NLP was to choose the outcome that I want, not what I don't want, and to decide what I can do to reach that outcome. I think that's quite similar to what CBT does. Of course first you have to recognise what your instinctive response is to a particular situation or stimulus, and decide whether or not it is a response that you want. Then, when you're not in that situation and can think easily, you decide how you will respond next time it happens. You may need to rehearse the response, or to write it down, or to have someone you trust coach you or remind you at first. It helps to have an un-patronising reminder!

Also

You are not to blame

PMS is like PND, is like a broken leg.

Of course you feel guilty when PMS takes over your (otherwise loving and exemplary ) behaviour, and apologies are usually needed at some point, but there really is no need to feel that way. Especially when you are trying to do something about it.

I used to reassure myself that as soon as my period started I would feel better within hours. Unfortunately that is no longer the case since I started up again after dd's birth. I can no longer rely on when Princess Bitch Witch will melt - and that really mucks me up! So I'm going to follow up Kizzie and Irishmammy's suggestions.

IM, do you know whether I can take Agnus Castus while breastfeeding?

Sorry 'there really is no need' sounds a bit patronising. Truly not meant to be! A clumsy choice of words, but well-meant.

Just to say that Now magazine (the one on sale this week for 50p special offer) has an article in it re. PMT symptoms. Thats why I bought it. Includes details of agnus castus and other supplements.
Kizziex

(i was irishmammy)
sorry can't take it while breastfeeding...it a hormonal remedy and will either alter your supply of milk or be passed on to your baby

forgot to mention, if any of you do try agnus castus it will probably take 2 or 3 months before it starts to work, so stick with it

grrr