The Back Pain Emporium, Internet Shopping, Drugs and Dealing with Doctors. Thread 6.

[MatildaTheRedNosedReinCat]

For anyone experiencing back pain it can be a very scary time. What is wrong? Who can help? How long will this last? We,on this thread are here to support you;offer empathy and help to navigate the almost impossible task of getting a diagnosis and the right treatment.We are not doctors but people who have trodden this path slowly and painfully. We also chat a LOT and welcome all newcomers. It is strictly non competetive regarding pain and no niggle is too minor.

Those who have long term back problems know that the best way to help manage back pain is to internet shop for shoes, bags, and back support devices. Those who are new to back pain, these are important lessons to learn. And here within this thread is where you will learn those lessons.

You will also find other helpful advice on pain management, different treatment options from hydrotherapy and physio to surgery, experiences of others navigating the big and scary medical world, both private and NHS (and abroad from the UK) too, as well as issues around work, being a parent while managing pain and disability, and the impact on the relationships around us. Not to mention the pain of dealing with claiming disablity benefits .

Between us all, we have a huge wealth of knowledge and experience, and more than the practical advice, the jargon and information, we know what back pain is like, how much is affects everything around us, and sometimes, all we need is to have people listen who Get It.

We talk painkillers regularly,sometimes drink wine , have hot water bottles and wheat bags galore, and hold hands a lot. It's potentially all very Unmumsnetty as we do actually show some lovin' from time to time, although we Never Ever call each other hun.

If you have advice, need advice, need a hand to hold, want to do some shopping, then come in. We are friendly. We talk a lot. Come in, have a brew and say hello

This is our 6th thread, here is the 5th, which has links too the others:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/a2203923-Back-Pain-and-Internet-Shopping-Thread-Number-5

Hi all, and thanks for your kind words, actually the boys have been quite good, but I have played down how serious it is a bit, as I didn't want them to get too worried. DH, on the other hand has been an arse, and I am already getting fed up with his comments about how I seem to be making a "miraculous" recovery as I had asked for some food after refusing fish and chips 4hrs earlier as the tramadol was making me feel nauseous. All I wanted was some cereal or something light, nothing too much, but you would have thought I was asking the world
Thanks about the advice on the benefits but, since I am the main earner in this house, it's a drop in the ocean compared to my usual earnings.
The boys took down the xmas dec's for me today, and DH has done 3 loads of washing, and he has also found out first hand the frustration I feel when I ask the boys to bring down dirty washing from their room, only to find its the clean clothes I sent up a few days ago which have been thrown on the "floordrobe" and mixed with the dirty so the whole lot gets bought for washing again!

Hello

Just saw this thread and thought I'd have a nosey. Hands up, I've only read the intro. Not sure if I fit in here but I suffer constant lower back pain and generalised back/shoulder pain. The lower pain I know is caused by multiple pelvic/organ prolapses, shoulder pain, no idea.

Anyhow, I'm just passing though and thought I'd say hi

Mail da - I have already done a list of necessary jobs that need completing, especially as the boys return to school this week, and DH has already got his knickers in a twist, saying I have given him too many instructions, the trouble is, despite the fact I also work full time, I have always been the practical one who automatically gets all the other bits done without really giving it another thought, now I am writing it down, I can see the amount of jobs I do actually get sorted each day, even down to checking PE kits, making sure there are enough lunchbox items and that we don't run out of essentials like loo roll and washing powder

Bubby, it is an eye opener to realise the hundreds of things that we usually do each day. Some things can be left or dropped no need too polish the candelabra this week, some are nice to get done ironing, bathing the dog, others essential.

So I guess you decide what is essential, eating, for one ( total arse,surely he wants you to eat?). Then devise up the chores or let them do it. Then retreat to your room and let them get on with it. If they will not or cannot then get help in.

I really feel for you. I've had a rotten time but with a DH who has truly looked after me, just as we would do if it were the other way round. Do you have friends or family who could help with laundry etc?

I'm sorry but I have very limited patience with AS being a reason to be unkind and mean to a sick wife. Is he always like this or is it a reaction to I pleasant change? I'm sure others here will also have ideas how you can motivate the boys to be useful and nice.

If finances are a real problem do you have a 'Plan B' to tide you over? Family who might lend?

Shakes, hi, we are a mixed bag of knackered backs and all are welcome to join. If you skim through some of the threads there really is tons of info on here. Of course if you have specific questions we are happy to help if we can.

Hello! Welcome to the thread bubby and shakey. Others are much more knowledgeable than I but this thread has saved my sanity more than once.

tickle yes, well meaning people hope you are getting on well regardless, when is your MRI?

ally I am so pleased the egg worked! You should write a recipe book when you're done :)

matilda am very glad the patches continue to work.

I am having a good few days pain wise. Have cut out ibuprofen completely to give my stomach a break and am on full paracetamol and the odd tramadol with nothing more needed. The train yesterday meant I took quite a bit of tramadol but didn't get as desperate I needed ibuprofen so I am hopeful I can get back in the office this week. pavlov I don't have an appointment with Mr S yet as his secretary was away when I emailed and comes back tomorrow. Not sure I can pay for another MRI unless he deems it necessary and then hopefully I can get one on the NHS. If I get a private opinion from him can I transition back to NHS treatment? DP has not been in touch at all since I left yesterday. I am led to believe he genuinely doesn't care, just like he said, which is quite sobering. I have wondered a few times whether he genuinely cares for me or just finds me a nice distraction (I am much younger). I guess this is the answer. To be honest my biggest cause of upset is that I will just disappear out if the lives of my friends children, who I am very close to and adore, without them understanding why. My office is too far away for me to entertain keeping the commute - we only stayed there for community reasons. Bugger. But it doesn't seem to be having an impact on my back, which is great!

The gabapentin isn't quite covering all the tingling but I am not having any side effects, which is brilliant, I will see if I can up the dose with the GP this week. The tingling is very unnerving and annoying as my right hand side feels dead/not there and I can't grip properly.

P'S - what I should add is that if DP and I don't reconcile, I had already bought the wedding booze. So we should all have a very drunken meet up to make the most of it I am currently looking at 3 bottles of whiskey, 1 bottle malibu and six boxes of wine at the end of his bed alone. There's more up north...

I'm in ins

I'm still reading. Mulled hope cold is gone. And sending you best wishes for this week. I brush teeth with a bib. Hand towel tucked into pjs.

Matilda glad patches are working out so far.

Ticklehow annoying.

Bubby My DH has suddenly agreed that long term we are getting a cleaner. I was only in acute pain and in bed and unable to contribute for 6 weeks. For 8 years he's said it was pointless and a waste of money. My sympathies.

My recovery is going all right albeit slowly. I haven't been able to walk as much as I should as there is a lot of snow and ice here. I also very stupidly lowered myself on one knee to reach something on the floor like the physio at hospital showed me. Only I did it on the weak leg which I've not put any weight on since early November. It wobbled badly shuddering my back when I tried to get up and I heard some very ominous cracking. So far no return of pain thank god and everything dropped on the floor stays on the floor.

Funny ins I was thinking that too - "baby food for adults" haha! Sorry your OH is being such a dickhead - you are taking it very well Oh and I am in for the party (will bring own water )

bubby - your OH will just have to learn to do all these things - stand back and let him get on with it - it will do him no harm to see what you actually do in the house, etc!

Ah a bib - genius freedom - careful on the ice! Cracking is ok (well for me anyhoo!) - I'm sure someone will jump in if its not!

Ins, I'm so sorry this has happened to you although it is apparently the time of year for break ups and divorce lawyers practically have a queue outside the door after the winter break. Good news that for whatever reason your back has improved. Maybe save up your pennies and see how you get on before going to Mr S since you've only been on the gabapentin a few days. Transferring is tricky. Basically, if he felt you needed surgery he would write to yor GP and explain his findings, then your GP would have to refer you to be seen. I'm almost certain you can't just be referred onto the nhs surgery waiting list. I mixed up private and nhs a lot there due to the long waits for out patient appointments. Frustratingly he never seemed to quite believe in this ( as in, 'have the scan and see me two weeks later'. Then I would call to get appt and be told no appt available for 8 weeks. He then said 'of course I would see you' but he couldn't get it that the staff can't overbook the clinics like that). So it's not easy. I was already his nhs pt when I started doing private OPA so it worked ok. Hope you get on ok with the return to work.

Ally, how about 'Gastronomic Gloop', or Sensational Slop?? glad you will no longer need the book very soon.

Bub, I know what you mean about not upsetting your dc but my experience is this: boys/ young men are not very perceptive or observant. If you say 'I'm ok' then lie in bed looking ill, they will wonder why (or not) and not feel very sympathetic. If you tell them that yes, it's a nasty and very painful injury and to need a lot of help and are in pain they will be far more responsive. Tell them, of course, that you will be better within x weeks or months and you are not dying but do be plain about what's going on and then keep well out of their rooms. My boys are older and sort of kind and concerned but definitely not lying awake worried about me. Then be absolutely clear about exactly what you want them to do rather than 'please can you help out'. They will have not the slightest idea of what you mean. Good luck and keep firm with DH, he can do it! it's just so much easier if you do it all..

Thanks so much Mulled, I know I would be advising people to stay at home for a bit but I've had so much time off work so have decided to go in at 10 and if it gets too painful I will work from home this PM. Really appreciate your lovely post which made me slap myself a bit for feeling guilty. I actually thought my back was better when I got the new job but they have been amazing despite this.
Well meaning friends can be so frustrating but I will try to remember she's just trying to help. My DH's aunt told me that with the NHS people just expect to be treated whereas before they would just have to live with it. Twathead.
Hi and welcome Shakey
Ins I am in quite a lot of pain still since the lovely lady wiggled my coccyx and should have the MRI in 4 weeks or so I think, just waiting for the appointment letter. I'm so so sorry that you DP is being such a twat, I'm sending unmumsnetty hugs to you (((()))) I am definitely up for helping you with that booze I've had terrible pain on my right side too so very interested to see how you get on with increasing your dose. Glad they're working.

Definitely agree about lists of jobs for family. Mine have a list today because the other side of my chest at the back has spasmed. It wasn't so dramatic / retch making this time but it blooming hurts and I can't do a lot.
Unfortunately they need to locate and pack P.E. kits and school bags, find school uniform, hoover the floor in the conservatory because the piano teacher is coming tonight (not been done since before Christmas!), make some lunch...
I might have to have some tramadol because the P.E. kit is going to be a biiiig problem!
Have an appointment with GP about agoraphobia next week so will ask about diazepam then.

Where oh where are DS's P.E. shorts. Does any one know? They should be in his uniform drawer but apparently they are not...nor in DD's uniform drawer.
"But you did put all the ironed and folded clothes carefully back didn't you?" as reminded on the bleeding list
Cue Kevin the teenager tone - "How am I supposed to know how to do things like that?"
Sigh...need to drag myself upstairs then and find shorts and save ironed clothes.
Oh and I exploded my heat pack in the microwave.

How is he supposed to know?! Because he's a grown up?! God, so sorry you are having to do all this with such a horrific injury

Oh sorry was it your ds? In which case I guess he's not a grown up !

Just a quick one, Berrie what are the consequences if no PE shorts? Doing it in skanky borrowed ones? Would teach him a lesson. Please don't drag yourself up the stairs or he won't understand that you really are too ill to be doing this. Speaking as a child who was a teenager not so long ago children are bloody selfish where parents are concerned until they hit about 25 and realise what their parents have done for them. HeAt pack solution: barley/lentils in a big sock or wool glove, with dried lavender or nice essential oils dropped on it you have them to hand. Heat it up tentatively as I can't remember how long it's meant to go in for.

Tee hee Tickle
They were not in the uniform drawer but they were in his socks and pants drawer which I made him sort out only yesterday . Rubbish! he's a lot like his father!
Tramadol. Good isn't it! I think I've been a bit tentative with it in the past but I'm a bit more bugger it - get it down my neck now. I think I used it only when pain was super severe and then it really wasn't going to get me walking easily anyway.
No way I'm hoovering the conservatory though...it's covered in muddy dog prints. Dh will have to do it quick before the piano teacher gets here. The hoover is a bit too heavy for DC. Am afraid I will not be ironing DH's shirts either which I do feel bad about...
Any ideas about why my back is prone to spasm right now and what I can do to make the muscles less sensitive?
Hmmm Ins have some lentils...there is some sage in the front garden but that might make me hungry...love a bit of sage in my stuffing!

Berrie, I would think that your upper back is very irritable and the muscles are intermittently seizing up as a result (grumpy Gorilla). Can you call your GP and get a three day course of diazepam? A few weeks ago my back was twitching continuously and it was horrid. I did three days of diazepam 2mgs plus usual drugs and it worked really well. I think it should possibly be a higher dose but it makes me even more stupid so I stuck to a lower dose.

I've recently got the Dyson Animal Wand or whatever it's called. It's absolutely brilliant for having a quickish scoot round when the house is disgusting and light and easy enough for me to use if I absolutely have to. Re laundry and sports kits, could essential stuff be kept in small piles downstairs or immediately packed into kit bags to minimise work? Would probably only work if you have space and a tumble dryer.

In the meantime, keep those kids at it. As my grandma would have said 'I was working at 14'. We really do let them off too easily. It is true that if they have to suffer the consequences of behaviour a few times they should learn. still waiting for this to apply to ds2 age 22.

Patches are odd. I feel ok in the morning, like as in don't need codeine but after actually doing things like taking down decorations and some essential desk work I was desperate for a lie down and cocodamol. Then sudden invite for lunch with SIL just a bowl of soup but more sitting. Intended to go for a gentle swim but in fact had to come back and lie down. So although my codeine intake has reduced ( replaced by the buprenorphine), I'm not yet any more mobile and still having spikes of pain. Early days.

What about the itching Matilda any better?
The P.E kits have only been a problem because we are out of the routine due to Christmas and things have been washed and put away for a fortnight rather than out of the tumble drier back into the bag. Once we get into the swing of things I'm sure it'll be fine. I have not checked their bags though so any errors they will have to suffer!
Sorry all this laundry stuff is very dull but you know how it is when a spike of pain reduces your world somewhat!
The tramadol seems to have only lasted 3 hours though I took paracetamol some time before so it's perhaps that which is wearing off. Can't remember what time though so better not have any more just yet.
I've been feeling a bit stampy footy today - as in- this is not who I want to be. But it could be so much worse and I know am am one of the more lucky of us on here. Bastard gorilla. I don't think he is actually here here rather just poking me with a sharp stick through the bars and spitting at me. at least that is what I am hoping

I don't think the tramadol will do much to ease the spasms, more like killing the pain off rather than sorting out the problem IYSWIM?

Laundry etc is indeed dull but it's the kind of everyday stuff that ends up making us worse because it's 10 times up and down stairs and getting stressed as opposed to your dc saying 'PE tomorrow DM, but no need for you to lift a finger, it's all sorted'. sharing all tips for housework avoidance is most valuable if you are as lazy as me.

Still quite itchy. I don't notice it as much in the day but do keep half waking as I scratch much in the manner of Mrs Gorilla. It's not a deal breaker so far.

Itchy is horrible.

Hmm both the co-codamol and tramadol make me itchy but not with one dose so worth the itch if I need more if you get me lol

I've only ever had the one major spasm berrie and with me it was stress (bereavement and long car journey) but with you I think you are still trying to do too much - let them manage - as matilda said - it will make them more thoughtful and useful (eventually/hopefully)

My OH does the vaccuming/vacuuming? ummm hoovering as its heavy and he picked it lol

Tramadol used to make me mega itchy. I've been taking it so long now it doesn't have any side effects other than a lovely drug taste in my mouth and it take the edge off the pain.

BTW wine is ok with tramadol right? I need some self medication!

hi girls. We've just got back from the hospital, I have done a real number on my back . I have to go to the area spinal unit tomorrow do they can decide if I am just going to stay in the brace they put me in today, (I look like a soldier in full body armour! ) or if they are going to operate. TBH, operating would be better for me as the recovery time is shorter, and I don't get paid sick pay at work. The good thing is that DH saw the x-ray and cut scan, and it was very obvious what I have damaged, so he is a bit more sympathetic.

Glad you are being sorted.
Do you have to sleep in the brace?
Poor you. What a horrible thing to happen.

Go for it tickle