I just don't know how to put this

[Lambstales]

My DF is very old and is sleeping more and more. Feels tired all the time.
However, he is not ill. He is deaf and blind in one eye, the remaining eye is forming a cataract.
Can any nurses or carers give me an insight as to the best care in his last few years?

Are you certain he is not unwell either physically or mentally? Has he been seen by a doctor to rule out ill health? Could catatract surgery be considered to keep some eyesight for him?

How old is he?

He needs to see a GP I think .And have blood tests . The sleeping could be due to a deficiency - iron ? Or his heart might not be working well - medication might help .

Please get him an appointment and go with him if he is ok with that .

Good luck .

Can you give more detail on his health and living arrangements? Yes to GP visit and then look at the options available whether that means care at home or residential. I currently have FIL at home with carers and mil in nursing home. It's a gruelling time.xx

He has recently had a check up with the GP and everything was okay (bar problems mentioned above). He is very nearly 90 years old.

I think the eye problem is weighing on his mind. Last year he had an eye infection in the eye and immediately went privately to the consultant rather than the NHS with a positive result. The cataract is definitely the 'elephant in the room'.
If someone becomes deaf and blind, what care do they need?

DGFil had his cataracts removed at 89 - worth looking in to?

Both my parents have had cataracts removed on the NHS and they are late 80s.

'If', and it's a weighty 'if', the op goes wrong though, he ends up blind. if the cataract develops quickly, he ends up blind.

Ditto both my mum and FIL have had their cataracts done this year with very little fuss or difficulty. He would have to have a consultation to discuss whether he is suitable but the surgery is very successful. They now routinely replace the cataract lens with a prescription lens so my mum is now glasses free for the first time in her life. They only do one eye at a time and I believe the risks are very small.

If you have a look at the RNIB website there are plenty of aids such as magnifying glasses and white light lamps which make reading easier. My mil got her magnifying glass on the nhs. Very few people become absolutely blind or deaf and there are aids for both.

Is he still at home? He may qualify for Attendance Allowance which can be spent on whatever he likes, including carers, shopping taxis or whatever. He may also qualify for social services carers if his health is failing and his savings re small. Age UK have tons of information on their website and are happy to advise in person. They can also help to fill in forms and advise on what's to actually claim for.

Cataract removal is very straightforward these days for older people.

I should have clarified the' blind' in my OP. He only has one eye left. The cataract is forming but not ready/ripe yet. I feel the need to get all the facts at my fingertips for when any decision is necessary. Thank you for all the organisations that you have mentioned. He is still at home.

He needs to discuss it with his doctor and optician. You don't have to wait for cataracts to 'ripen' any more. It can be done as soon as there is a problem with vision. He will need to talk to the doctors as he only has one eye functioning and that will make the whole thing daunting.

FWIW, my mother had it done, reluctantly, since her own mother had the old fashioned experience in the 1970s. She found it amazing and although she had not thought her cataracts at all bad, she was so amazed at what she could see. She had the other one done a few weeks later, even though it was not as bad. She no longer needed glasses for distance, and everything was so much brighter.

Another thought is to get him an alarm to wear around his neck so that he can call for help in an emergency. This has been very reassuring for us and FIL as he has had the occasional fall.

I do like the alarm idea and have no idea why I've overlooked, it apart from the adverts all showing crumpled (having fallen) old ladies.

Some local authorities provide a smart alarm service . It's worth checking your local authority's website to see what is offered for elderly in your father's area.

FWIW my 94 year old mother has very little sight ( is registered blind ) and has other serious health issues ( mostly heart and gout ) . She lives alone with a carer once a day in the week and support from me . She mainly needs social support ( lonely and bored ) and a lot of reassurance ( chronically anxious ) .

You need ( obviously ) to think about what your father wants/will accept as IME this is often very different from what we might think a parent needs .

And agree about cataracts - very straightforward and no longer a question of waiting until they are " ripe " . Perhaps your father's medical advice has not been the best ?

Just wanted to add to all of the good advice above.
The loss of sight/thought of it happening could be on his mind.
The tiredness/sleeping more could be an indication of depression.....

The local NHS ophthalmology service is dire. Which is why he went private to save his eye last year.

I am very grateful for all of the advice and I am trying to look at the whole picture.
Rachael I think you have the right idea. How can one cope with depression in one so old when it is totally justifiable?

My FIL became extremely depressed and anxious after my mil went into a nursing home. Although he saw people every day he constantly complained that he was lonely/ alone. He finally accepted that he was depressed and has responded very well to medication. It hasn't been easy. He was resistant to having carers but actually enjoys their company as well as needing the help.

It isn't easy but depression in the elderly can still be treated.

He also became very demanding of the family in terms of time and attention and this has also improved now he is less anxious. Have you spoken to his GP?

This is all starting to sound like depression? anxiety? He can no longer cope with the slightest blip in everyday life.

GP, what GP? All the ones he used to know have retired. It's just a string of locums now.....:(

Lamb, is there maybe a practice nurse who he could see? If you're suffering locums, then a nurse may have a better history/knowledge of your dad - might be a starting point?

Lamb - my local hospital Kings in SE London has a special outpatient clinic which reviews elderly people and looks at all their conditions . Older Persons' Assessment Unit it's called .
They sort out meds ,depression ,eyesight etc . And have loads of advice on aids ,social services help etc .

It's a long shot but I don't suppose a hospital near you has one ? My mother was referred by GP ,but if you had one I'm sure you could phone and explain re locums and ask how to get referred .

My grandma went to a similar clinic in Newcastle. Her GP did not like old people (she knew this, no idea why she registered with him) and referred her there when he had had enough.

The practice nurse would be an ideal starting point :)
I will investigate the hospital clinics. TBH a hospital visit is very stressful in itself: taxi, waiting, not hearing what (some) of the younger doctors say which in turn makes him seem slow witted etc. It takes few days for him to get over it!
Nurse first :)