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Helping someone with hypothyroidism

7 replies

frazmum · 22/10/2014 09:30

DH was diagnosed almost a year ago and is on meds but still not up to the level the GP thought he'd need yet. He has a blood test and GP visit over the next week to discuss this as he seems to have gone backwards over the last month. His health has greatly improved but there are still symptons like fatigue, muscle soreness and mental health that aren't right. I try to offer support by ensuring he gets lots of rest, especially at the weekends and when he gets frustrated/angry at us I generally try to ignore as I know it's caused by his condition.

However I'm feeling that I'm not providing the support he needs and would like some help from either those with the condition or supporting someone with the disease. We'd agreed that if I felt his moods were getting out of control that I'd gently say something - he tends to lash out at myself or the teenage DC's (not the younger ones). But when I did that last night he got really angry and accused me of blaming his condition and that it was actually my fault he was upset.

When he's tired it's easy, we just take some of the load off him and ensure he gets more rest, afternoon naps seem to help. But it's a lot harder with the anxiety and frustration he's struggling with. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

OP posts:
RockinD · 22/10/2014 15:02

You may have answered your own question OP. Your DH should be much better once his medication reaches an optimal level, provided he is not deficient in iron, ferritin, vitamin B12, folate and vitamin D. If these have not been tested, he should ask his GP to do so as deficiencies in these vitamins and minerals go hand in hand with underactive thyroid.

frazmum · 22/10/2014 15:45

Thanks - I'm not sure if the others are checked. I'll ask him to check with the nurse tomorrow, if he's speaking to me yet.

I guess I'm just worried I'm not supporting as well as I could. Unfortunately I've no-one in RL to ask as his family don't want to know about this.

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 22/10/2014 15:55

I think until hen stabalises you're going to have to agree a phrase or code word that tells him that he's put of order. Sit down together and agree that you're not blaming him, but its not helpful behaiour either. (You may need to remind him of this a few times to ensure he doesn't take it personally) Perhaps a gentle "why don't you go [insert hobby here] for half an hour or so whilst I do this?" Kind of thing, whixh you imply you do already. Smile Never a "stop shouting\calm down" etc, as even when you know you are being irrational its hard to hear. However, your partner is an adult and does need to be accountable for the results of his mood swings. Perhaps walk away at the time and afterwards reiterate that it is not the mood swing you are upset with, but his difficulty understanding that he isn't annoyed with YOU.

And yes, check out vitamin deficiencies. I have quite bad hypo but never had such bad tempers when I was uncontrolled. Just unending fatigue. Sad

honeysucklejasmine · 22/10/2014 15:56

I hope that makes sense. I started rambling a bit. Blush

frazmum · 22/10/2014 16:16

That did help thanks.

OP posts:
Theboulderhascaughtupwithme · 22/10/2014 21:48

Hi Frazmum

Am interested in why your DP isn't up to a stable level after nearly a year of treatment. What does his Gp say about his levels and has he been referred to an endocrinologist if the GP is struggling? Yes it can be a bit hit and miss trying to get the levels right for the first few weeks/ months but a year seems a bit ridiculous.

Am speaking as someone who has hypothyroidism ( hashimotos) , and also has two close relatives with the same condition, but in all honesty I am a bit shocked that your DH is 'lashing out' and you are attributing it to his hypothyroidism. Yes people with underrated hypothyroidism can suffer from a range of symptoms, depression, fatigue mental slowing etc but generally once it is treated with an appropriate dose of T4 there is no reason he should be so unstable. I often feel very fatigued but have never thought to blame my general bad moods on the hypos!!

Do you think there may be some truth in what he says re you blaming his symptoms on the hypo, could he in fact be suffering from depression ( unrelated to his thyroid) is he stressed or are you having relationship issues in general?

Just asking as it seems an unusually big leap to blame it all on his under active thyroid.

sanfairyanne · 22/10/2014 21:56

if only i had realised i could be grumpy and get away with blaming my hypothyroidism!!

he needs to get his blood test results and get his tsh low, say under 1, and t4 high in range
if he gets a print out you can check those plus his vitamin levels

but the grumpiness is not excusable

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