Your views on the work/life balance please

[Bewooohooove]

Cba to namechange so will try to not over share.
I have been off work for 3 months and am due to return within the next couple of weeks. It'll be a staged return to work, so probably not back to full time until next year.

Thing is, I love being at home, always have, I feel safe and calm. I'm not an easily sociable person and I've always struggled with chronic shyness and am very uncomfortable in crowds or large groups.
I have worked full time all my life and together with dh, (who adores his work more than his home life and does long hours) we have a comfortable but not rich life.

I am considering requesting permanent 4 days per week next year. This will entail my giving up a fifth of my salary and associated benefits so will affect pension. On balance, Would you do it?

We are all different so really the only person who can answer this is you ... but I was in a similar position and went back part-time a few years ago. I have just recently cut down to 4 part-time days from 5 and so far am loving it. Next stage is full retiral I guess and I am as unsure as you about that lol. I am pretty useless at the sociable thing too so completely get that too.

Good luck whatever you do!

I say go for it. Life's too short to be unhappy and it doesn't have to be permanent change if you find you don't get on with it.

4 full days is not very part time. You would be at work the majority of the time. I would definitely go for it or even more part time.

I do 3 days which in some ways is fab - get to volunteer at the school, go to the gym, juggle work days around to suit me and other things going on.
However I do neither a sahm or ft job so I feel I cut corners on both and could do both better (if I had more time for each). I also do more than my contracted hours, albeit as it's a senior role this is kind of expected anyway. 4 days is possibly more tricky than 3 as they will likely expect you to just do your same ft work in fewer hours - make sure you carve out specific parts of your role and handover if this is a risk in your kind of job.
Regarding losing 1/5 it is likely less than that due to way tax allowances/no thresholds etc work.

What does DH say - presumably it will affect him?
can you do compressed hours- eg work 5 days worth in 4 days?

Thank you all, it's really helpful to hear other views and ideas. I hadn't considered the point that it may be less than a fifth due to tax etc.

Dh, well I'm not sure. As a person motivated by and almost defined by his work who has been lucky so far in his career and LOVES what he does he isn't likely to empathise. But my recent health thing possibly gives me that bargaining chip, although tbh I will probably spend the day off doing the housework or garden anyway. (Which I will enjoy)

Oh, yes compressed hours also a possibility but I'd like to cut down on the hours at work as even my current 8 hours plus travel time leaves me knackered by 9pm. It's not much quality of life to be in bed by 10 every night either.

I would have thought your dh would empathise with you more, not less, if he loves his work. It would be harder to accept, surely, if he hated his job and wanted time out, too, but only one of you could afford to do it.

He kind of thinks everyone loves their work as he does. Being blessed with empathy is not part of his personality. I don't mean to make him out a bad person, he isn't at all. This decision though, I think will be more mine to make.

100% support part time. It gives you a chance to do so much. Even just keeping on top of the house, admin, garden and laundry. Never mind doing a class,swim, lunch, coffee or just reading a book.

Go for it. You DH will probably like the new chilled you. 3-4 days is about right IME.

I work four days a week due to health. I supposed im technically on a phased return but no plans to go to five until the new year because I still get knackered and have occasional weeks where am floored just by working. I so hear you on the ft thing and worry about it quite a lot. I work long hours and I just love Tuesdays knowing I have wednesdays off. I would feel v hard done by to just work, eat and sleep. (I'm a writer too, and have an agent, so at the mo my whole life is consumed by working and writing). It will only get worse when am ft! In some ways for me it's an anxiety/avoidance thing so I think perhaps I should go ft but I do really worry about my happiness levels on doing so

I'm currently on compressed hours: I work an extra hour every day Mon-Thurs, and then leave at lunch on a fri.
I get a couple of hours to myself - lunch with a friend, or a run, or a bit of shopping, and then pick the kids up from school.
Just being at the school gate once a week is amazing.
Highly recommend dropping some hours, or rearranging them, if at all possible. Just don't get caught in the trap of less hours, less pay, and still the same amount of work.

There seems to be a sub-text to your post. The feelings I'm picking up are that you have a kind of social phobia and find work hard for those reasons. was your 3-months off for stress by any chance? genuine question.

Rather than try to avoid work and the social situations you don't feel comfortable with, could you access CBT to help overcome this- or think about a career change so that you actually enjoy work?

You give the impression work is something that people have to endure- rather than something that can give pleasure.

I work 4 days (day off tomorrow!) and love it. Mind you, I really love my job anyway. The day off gives me a chance to do whatever I want or nothing. Definitely don't commit yourself to volunteering at school etc. It's your well earned time.

Can you negotiate working from home at all? I used to work 4 days, 1 of which was at home. It cuts the hassle with the commute. It made so much difference.