**Tamoxigang thread 51**... no more sangria, but maybe some mulled wine!

[MarthaCostello]

Hello all,

The old thread has nearly run out so I hope no one minds me making a new one. And am I allowed to mention the Big C... Christmas?! our last thread was started in July so I reckon this one might take us into December.

In honour of that, I will lay out some mulled wine, mince pies and I have wrapped myself in tinsel.

A warm welcome to jomidmum, but sorry you've had to join us. No one wants to be in this club, but this thread is a rather nice place to be. Wishing you a speedy recovery from your op, and hoping the pain eases soon.

Massive hugs to beccajoh

A big yippee for Marshy, what utterly fantastic news.

Sitting on the paranoia box for ConsiderablyBiggerBuns, I hope your MRI results are good - when will you hear?

Waving and sending love to everyone else.

I wonder if seeing as we are on a new thread, it might be worth just giving a bit of history for new posters? I will put mine anyway, and then others can if they want to. I am coming up to two years since my bowel cancer diagnosis (grade 2, stage 3c, T2N2M0R0). I had major bowel surgery and six months of chemo.

hope all goes well minty

Not much to report from me. Back at work 3.5 days now with a view to getting back to full time by end of Feb. Cant say I am enjoying it but the moneys useful

Hope all goes well today minty.
I've finished my first week back at work in 18 months (my mat leave turned into sick leave)! New job but same colleagues and it was fine apart from the usual child juggling!
Re reconstruction - I was told that it couldn't happen right away because I was having rads. I normally don't even wear prostheses as I find them uncomfortable.

Just caught up on all I missed and came back to ask you weebarra how it had been back at work and the answer was there for me! Child juggling: always challenging.

shrew Hi there, think you have a scan date this week? when is it and hope it goes ok.

OK cant read my own writing but someone was asking about having a bilateral. That is what I had although my right breast was completely clear. Just couldn't face the lopsided and as my breasts were pretty huge would have been very lopsided (or impossible to match) I was just quietly insistent all through treatment that that was what I wanted and surgeon agreed. Have not regretted it for one second.

Yes, eye masks would work too. The brain notices how much blue-spectrum light there is at night, and controls its melatonin levels. And those are connected with how fast cancer cells grow. So the darker the better. Using orange lighting rather than white/blue-ish bulbs is a compromise.
Good luck to all those having stuff done at the moment.

Just to let you all know that I have just pm'ed quite a number of you on this thread on something you may be interested in (no sales, marketing etc honest!) If anyone is on a Facebook group of Tamoxigangers, could someone put the message there as well, please?

It was me foofoo, thanks for letting me know it is possible if you have an iron will.

Hope you're ok, minty.

minty hope all has gone according to plan.
lilymaid have tried to message you from 2 different devices with no luck. Basically I am in - please keep me updated.
Had lymphodema clinic today and was issued with both a sleeve and a glove, really quite uncomfortable with both my little finger and my thumb going numb - have taken it off now as so unpleasant and I am not normally a quitter, but will try again tomorrow in the hopes that it will get easier. Thanks for the advice about stress balls, moisturising and raising - all spot on. I started back at work yesterday, physically in the office, another notch on the normality bed post. Waving to all and wishing you well with SEs, ops, returns to work, check ups and basically living in the aftermath.

Lots of us starting back at work!
Survived but tired now, although enjoyed it.

Hope all went well minty.

Any news on your weekend Gilly?

Those who have developed Lymphodema would you still be able to drive ?

Wishing everyone well.

First of all,hope you got through it all ok minty.
I have returned from hospital after having my implants put in on both sides.
Feeling ok,a bit battered and bruised but not as bad as expected.
I'd say 90% free movement in my arms which I hadn't expected so that's great.
So far,so good,just struggling with the 'take it easy' bit....

Hi all. I came home yesterday eve as planned but despite being at home had a pretty dreadful night. I had underestimated how much I rely lying on my surgery side to get me to sleep.

Anyway, it sounds like it all went well. The chemo must have worked so well that the surgeon had difficulty identifying what was left of the tumour to take out but she had a good dig around. Only 1 node removed so hopefully I won't have too many lasting problems under my arm.

I'm sore and tired but gradually losing the 'toilet duck' blue wee :). Taking it easy and trying to remember my exercises!

Nelson, glad to hear things are looking so far for you. Taking it easy isn't easy but I hope you look after yourself.

Lily, I saw your message and am having a think. Will try and drop you a line later.

Buns, better luck with the sleeve today. Do they come in different sizes, I'm guessing it needs to be tight but not to the point of cutting off circulation

Good luck to everyone returning to work. I've certainly benefitted from going in as much as I can over the last few months as it does provide a distraction. Hope you're not too worn out by it all

Hi minty, good to hear from you and great that the op sounds successful. I only had about 3 nodes removed and have no issues other than a bit of tightness still when I raise my arm. I also sleep mostly on my affected side so I can sympathise with not being able to get comfortably to sleep. Considering my op was in May, I still have a slight blue tinge on my breast, it takes months to go. Hope you continue to feel a bit better every day, take it easy.

Buns, so sorry to hear you have developed lymphodema, the sleeve sounds most uncomfortable.

Nelson, good to hear from you too, take it slowly.

Thinking of all those starting back at work.

Hi, I'm not sure if these threads are just for people with breast cancer? I have a very rare cancer in my liver and possibly elsewhere, but don't want to cut across the posts and derail them as I now this is an established group. Please be honest, I won't be offended if Id be out of place :)

baw this thread is for absolutely anyone with any type of cancer. Yes, we are predominately Breast but we also have bowel, leukaemia, melanoma (RIP Becca) and other types.
I saw some of your thread and was shocked by how hard you were having to struggle to get a decent referral ... How are things now?

Thanks foof (love the name!). I've finally managed to get an appointment at the Royal Marsden to see someone who has experience with this disease, but am going to have to pay. I thought I would feel better once I knew I was going to see someone, but I actually feel all panicky and sick. It makes it all the more real and I'm petrified he'll have even worse news (if that's possible!). I've spent the day working out how to get there and have decided to drive up the night before, stay in a hotel and then take the tube in. It's a long way from where I live in Wales and if the train was delayed, I think I'd lose the plot!

That sounds like a good plan. You have to be kind to yourself when going through treatment so make it as easy as possible (I almost put stress free but I know anything to do with cancer cannot be stress free)!

I was surprised how much difficulty you were having and feeling very sorry for you. It's brilliant that you have a date in the diary however terrified it makes you feel. I've found the waiting to be far worse than any actual physical treatment I've had!

Friends have been shocked when I've told them about the difficulties I've had and even the MacMillan helpline I rang couldn't believe it. I have never felt so helpless and ignored. I can't think too much about it or I become enraged and really, there's nothing that I can do about it now. It's meant that I feel defeated before I've even begun to deal with things and I know that's the wrong mindset to have.

cleanasawhistle yes you can still drive with Lymphoedema, in fact you can carry on with your life as normal. It's just you have a joyous sleeve to wear. If you're really unlucky a glove too. Sadly I think I might be heading towards needing a glove, I had very swollen fingers yesterday. BC really does just keep on giving.

BiggerBuns Wearing the sleeve for a few hours each day is fine to begin with. You will slowly get used to it. Just try and make sure you wear it if you are doing anything strenuous with your arm. I've been wearing mine for a few months now and although I would rather not have it, I don't take so much notice of it now or at least I didn't until yesterday when I had swollen fingers. GOOD LUCK xxx

Baw you are very welcome, we tend to have more breast cancer in here just because it's so common but it's for everyone. I'm sorry that you have to be here and that they've been messing you around. Have you got someone to travel with you to your appointment ?

Hi.malt. yes, my partner will be coming with me. It's a strange thing, but I'd actually prefer to go alone. I don't want to hurt his feelings by refusing to let him come, but in the past I've found it more stressful to have him along. It's not that he does anything wrong, it's just that I kind of go in on myself and don't want to speak or interact at all. Plus I feel that I have to worry about him and his reactions, rather than just focusing on myself. I know it sounds odd and I'm probably strange as most people want someone there for support. Never mind, he's coming along anyway and at least it means I don't have to do all the driving!

hi baw and welcome. I'm so sorry you've had to join us but it's a great place to come and share your fears or have a rant. Whatever cancer we have we're all in the same boat and have the same kind of worries.

I read some of your other thread and can't believe what you've had to go through. I hope that now you're seeing someone from the Marsden you can get a better idea of what you're up against.

Depending on how long you've got, there's plenty of restaurants/coffee bars near the tube station (.....and of course the dinosaurs at the natural history museum!) so you could find somewhere to sit down and mull over your appointment before you head home. Although I guess you'll have plenty of time to talk things through on the way back to Wales.

wishing you all the very best and hope you get some answers x

Hi baw, sorry you've had to join us. I completely get where you're coming from with not wanting your partner there. I was in a relationship when I was diagnosed and my boyfriend always wanted to come to appointments, even when other people had offered to take me. I can't drive so I rely on my parents now for lifts, but they're happy to wait outside and come in if needed. I didn't/don't feel the need for any support, and I felt the same about everyone else's reactions, especially as my ex coped so badly with my diagnosis. It was pressure that I didn't really need when I was trying to make decisions about my treatment. But I know how difficult it is to actually say no. Could you ask him to wait outside and then have him come in towards the end of the appointment to sum up?

It's good you've got an appointment finally, but what a nightmare being messed about. I hope the specialist is able to help. Have you been given any idea of what your treatment plan might be yet?

Waving to everyone, I hope you're all OK

Hi minty and martha and thanks for the welcome.
Dinosaurs sound like a good distraction on the day!

Relieved it's not just me who would prefer to attend alone. I just feel a bit claustrophobic at the moment. My mother either rings or calls in every day and I know she's worried, but there is nothing to say at the moment as I haven't even seen a consultant yet. I feel that everybody wants me to say something to make it better for them and I just haven't got it in me at the moment. My partner is very sweet and I just can't tell him to wait outside, he just can't understand my weirdness. He's the type who likes support; he had to have a colonoscopy once and asked the nurse if I could be there for the procedure!

When the consultant from Cardiff phoned, he said I'd need a liver resection. Mind you, he also said it wasn't cancerous yet, which turned out to be a lie, plus a casual mention of spots on the lung that he then said were nothing. As you can imagine, I don't trust a word he's said so far, so the resection might not happen after all. They've asked for a second opinion from Leeds, so at the moment I have no idea. I'll get to see the private consultant on the 14th and am in Cardiff on the 19th. That will be the first time I've been seen in Cardiff since referral in mid Nov.

baw I hated DP coming too. He is a cry baby and would sit there sobbing!! So I stopped him coming.

It's a shame you have so far to travel.
I was possibly going to have a liver resection and still see a marvellous liver specialist at Basingstoke.
But am sure the Marsden is The Best place for you to go.

Baw understand about other people and feeling like you have to reassure them and be strong for them but you do need to just think about yourself and what's best for you. I've had dh with me for every appointment but I'm a cry baby and normally sit there sobbing so he has to listen. I also only tend to hear the bad bits !
Waiting for appointments is the pits I hope it goes quickly for you

Hope everyone's having a nice weekend, mine has been working more than I would like but we are going out for a family meal this evening so looking forward to that