**Tamoxigang thread 51**... no more sangria, but maybe some mulled wine!

[MarthaCostello]

Hello all,

The old thread has nearly run out so I hope no one minds me making a new one. And am I allowed to mention the Big C... Christmas?! our last thread was started in July so I reckon this one might take us into December.

In honour of that, I will lay out some mulled wine, mince pies and I have wrapped myself in tinsel.

A warm welcome to jomidmum, but sorry you've had to join us. No one wants to be in this club, but this thread is a rather nice place to be. Wishing you a speedy recovery from your op, and hoping the pain eases soon.

Massive hugs to beccajoh

A big yippee for Marshy, what utterly fantastic news.

Sitting on the paranoia box for ConsiderablyBiggerBuns, I hope your MRI results are good - when will you hear?

Waving and sending love to everyone else.

I wonder if seeing as we are on a new thread, it might be worth just giving a bit of history for new posters? I will put mine anyway, and then others can if they want to. I am coming up to two years since my bowel cancer diagnosis (grade 2, stage 3c, T2N2M0R0). I had major bowel surgery and six months of chemo.

Gilly just wanted to check in and see how it all went today? I hope you are home now and doing something relaxing, thinking of you lots.

I went outside today for the first time since Fri morning - so boring being trapped inside - and I think it did me good. I also got some codeine from my GP which is definitely taking the edge off the bone pain, so fingers crossed for a good nights sleep and feeling more human tomorrow.

Hi Everyone.I have already met some of you on my thread titled I Found a Lump in My Breast.
So I found a lump in my left breast on Halloween morning purley by chance.Over the weekend I had a good look at my breasts and noticed that the nipple on the affected breast was leaning to one side.
Went to see my GP on 3rd Nov and the next day I receive an appointment for the breast screening clinic 50 miles away.
So on the 12th Nov I was examined by a doctor,I then had a mamogramme and an ultra sound followed by a biopsy (which was uncomfortable but not too painful,I did feel quite sore for a few days)The doctor told me the lump wasn't a cyst and I would have to go back a week later for the biopsy results.

So on the 19th Nov I was told that I had breast cancer.The doctor said they couldn't save my nipple due to the location of the golf ball size lump.
I had a choice of three operations.
Full Mastectomy
Partial Mastectomy
Remove the end of my breast and next year have tissue taken from my other breast to make that one smaller too.
I went to a local breast clinic on the 21st Nov and spoke to the surgeon .He went through all the options again and I decided on the last one.

On the 18th Nov I will have my operation at the local hospital and will have to stay in one or two nights.
In Jan I will start radiotherapy.It will be at the Hospital 50 miles away..no motorway so its over an hour each way.I will have to go 15 times on week days.

I cried when I was diagnosed even though I thought I had prepared myself for the worst...and I kept crying for the next 24 hours and I haven't cried since.It took a couple of days for the news to sink in and then I started telling family and friends.
I am dreading the operation and waking up and seeing what they have done to me.

I have had people tell me that I won;t die...hadn't even crossed my mind.
People telling me it doesn't matter what I will look like after cos noone is going to see it...I am going to see it.
Also been told that after my op I will be cancer free and that will be the end of it...I feel like its just the start.

I am so pleased I started my thread all those weeks ago,it helps writing it all down and the support on here is amazing.Thank you x

Hi Whistle, nice to see you over here (well, not nice, but you know what I mean).

Someone who has had an op closer to yours will hopefully be along soon with some advice.

Morning everyone
Whistle glad you have found us though sorry you need to be here. I had a lumpectomy so different op. You must be relieved you don't need chemo. Radiotherapy is a drag with the travelling but at least it doesn't make you feel too bad

Love to all, I only work part time normally but my job share partner is off sick so expecting to be full time until Christmas, not sure when I'll have time to finish shopping,wrapping etc !
Hope everyone has a good day

Welcome aboard whistle, so sorry that you've had to join us here.

I can't advise too much about surgery as I've been down the route of chemo first (just finished last week) and am now awaiting a date for my operation. I had a pretty big tumour which has shrunk to a more manageable size now so will probably have a lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy.

Although you haven't mentioned it I assume you will be having a biopsy too? This helps the team 'stage' the cancer and confirm the most appropriate treatment. For ladies not having a full mastectomy I understand the lymph node biopsy is done through a separate incision nearer the armpit and seems to be the scar that is more sore after the operation.

But, as I say I'm not (yet) able to speak from experience but I'm sure others will be able to give better advice.

As to things people say, I've had a few. People on here will remember my boss's words when I said to him after my diagnosis that it felt very strange to feel so well but know I had something inside that could potentially kill me "well we all get in cars every day". I've also had other women say that if I'd had to have a mastectomy it would be no big deal "just whip it off".

you will probably also be told many times over the coming weeks how well you're looking despite feeling that you're falling apart inside. But I think it's just the way other people handle things and they don't mean to be unkind, you just have to learn to grin and bear it.

you've come to the right place here though. There are some wonderful ladies who have been through all sorts of treatment and give great advice and support.

elporto, I hope you had a better nights sleep and the SEs are beginning to fade.

smiles and waves good morning to everyone else :)

Welcome whistle. Sorry you find yourself here. There are times when people say things and you just want to punch them on the nose! As minty said they are usually just trying to help.
Am afraid I don't know too much about your type of op(I had a bilateral mastectomy a few weeks ago) but hopefully somebody else might. I now don't have any nipples and it's not quite as bad as I thought it would be. I found imagining what it would look like was worse than reality. I had the opportunity to look at some photographs with my breast care nurse. Have you been allocated someone? If so it might be worth asking if they have photos.

Have achieved ironing while waiting for hairdresser to phone. She is checking some hair dyes for me. Does anyone have any good recommendations for dye- am so fed up with the grey!

Speedy
I started dyeing my hair again about 6-7 months after chemo. First of all I used Daniel Field (only online/mail order), then another organic dye that my hairdresser found but since then I've progressed back to the usual salon stuff. What I have found is that the dye really takes to the hair ... last dye was "dark blonde" and turned my hair dark brown. I've also still got frizzy "chemo" hair and despite copious amounts of all sorts of anti-frizz products, it still remains frizzy!

Thank you for the warm welcome everyone.
I should have put my op is on 18th DEC and not nov.
I haven't really taken offence by what gaffs people have said to me,they just don't know what to say and they did take time out to visit me.I probably would have come out with some corkers if the roles were reversed lol.
So what happens after my op ??
Will I wake up all bandaged and wired up ?
Do I go back to hospital to have stitches out or a check up ?
...maybe I should read my breast cancer care pack :-/

Hi whistle I'm not sure I have heard anyone in this thread describe their op quite the same way as you, I am thinking it is different to a lumpectomy, is it? Like speedy I had both mine removed, it really isn't too bad an operation, up and about very quickly but you do have drains attached for a day or two which are unsightly and a bit of a nuisance. The node clearance that was done at the same time was worse, doesn't sound like you will have this if they haven't recommended chemo. The travelling sounds grim. I am in the middle of rads now - absolutely no side effects ( I am quite olive skinned) and the appointments are very efficient but it is such a drag getting there and parking every day - I live about 50 mins away so I feel your pain.
elporto hope the aches are getting better, I had 6 tax and had aches really bad the first time but they got easier each cycle so hope this is the case for you too.
Quick question, has anybody else suffered from really bad stiffness on the tamoxifen? My hands are so bad when I first wake up that I can't hold a cup but it soon passes - sound familiar to anyone?
Just had no 6 of 15 rads, so looking forward not to have to fit that in on top of everything else. Role on 2015. Those of you with frizzy/curly hair since chemo - when could you tell. Mine is a few mms long now, very soft but appears to be dead straight, is it lulling me into a false sense of security?!
Hi to everyone and hope you are all coping at this busy time of year.

Morning all.
Just a quickie cos late for school! CBB, I also have stiffness on the tamoxifen, but in my feet more than my hands. I hobble about first thing in the morning and if I've been sitting too long! They do seem to loosen up so I'm just ignoring it!!

I had terrible aches in my legs on Tamoxifen which started one week in to starting it. I took ibuprofen/paracetemol but had bad nights as once the effects of these had worn off, I couldn't sleep properly. Aching limbs are a common SE.
Now back on oral chemo for my secondary cancer and the SEs are easier to deal with (and much less tiring) though it means I am stuck in the UK whilst on this drug, whereas with Tamoxifen I could travel.
Win some, lose some!

Hi Consider,
My op is more than a lumpectomy.That wasn't an option for me.
My golf ball size lump is in my left breast and positioned to the left of the nipple,it then spreads up behind the nipple.My nipple is tilted to the left and ...lets say when I am cold it stings.
So in my op I will lose the nipple and a chunk of breast on the left side.
Aparently they can not do a reconstruction because they are only taking part of my breast away. They said I have this option because I have large breast so thats why they will make my other breast smaller to match.

I have never read this op mentioned in all the forums I have looked at.

And in answer to your hair question, you obviously have mine . I had dead straight hair which is now curly and much frizzier than before!

I've just had a call from the hospital asking me to come in and meet the surgeon this Friday. They only had their MDT meeting yesterday so the speed with which they've set something up suggests that they might want to push forward with surgery before Christmas. What do you think?

Sorry to hear of everyone suffering aches and pains, this cold weather can't be helping.

Elporto, hope you are starting to feel a bit more human. I was reading the breast cancer care forum the other day and people there were saying that the first dose of tax after FEC can be the worst because you still have FEC in your body getting hit hard by another drug. Apparently oncologists says this is the case too.

Hi whistle, totally coincidentally my MIL was over today and was telling me about her friend who is having a similar operation to you - lumpectomy on the affected side and then effectively a reduction on the non-affected side to make them match. She said she was having it done over 3 separate operations spread over 6 months, have they indicated to you if they will do it in stages?

Thanks all for the good wishes, my SEs eased off yesterday and today I have been up and about, Xmas shopping and even went to yoga so I must be better . Minty, the person on the chemo hotline also suggested that it might ease up on the following 2 cycles, fingers crossed! I guess it's just the first time on a new drug is always going to be tough. I am now well stocked up on codeine and special mouthwash for my throat so hopefully I will be better prepared for next time!

Minty, how do you feel about possible surgery before Xmas? I'm guessing it will all be a lot clearer when you have met your surgeon and discussed it but I am glad they are moving swiftly and I hope whatever they propose doesn't mess to much with you and your family having a lovely restful Xmas together.

Waving to everyone else and hope you're all having a nice week and not too affected by the crazy weather heading our way.

Hi all, I'm Beccajoh's husband.

I know a lot of you have been asking after Becca.
Sadly she passed away yesterday.

Not long after her last post on this thread she went into hospital, she was very unwell, but she was improving under the care of the dr's and nurses. She received her next 2 doses of chemo in hospital which didn't really agree with her. So she was due to have a brand new drug tomorrow. She was doing really well and we had some hope that her new chemo would work for her.

Sadly, last Friday she developed a terrible headache and a scan revealed 2 brain tumours, one of which had bled heavily. She deteriorated very quickly. But she was comfortable, and passed away peacefully with her family with her.

x

Am so so sorry to hear that news, I was only thinking about Becca this morning. Am sending you and your family all my love and thoughts at this very difficult time. Xx

fire, I am so so sorry to hear your news. Like everyone here I've been thinking lots about becca over the last few weeks hoping that she'd been able to turn the corner.

my thoughts and love go out to you and your family at this terrible time. x

Thinking of you all, and of dear becca

fire thank you so much for taking the time to let us know, as you were aware we were all concerned and thinking of her. Now our thoughts will be with you and all her loved ones. Please take care of yourself. Very sad.

firethornuk
Thank you for coming here to let us know your sad news.
Very best wishes to you and your family.

firethorn oh I am so sad and sorry. I think we were all worried when we had not heard from Becca for so long.

Sending love to you and your family.

Firethorn, I am so very sorry to hear the news about Becca. My thoughts are with you and her family.

firethorn I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your babies, and all who loved becca xx

Firethorn, I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and your children. Beccajoh was a much-loved presence on these threads and I know a lot of us will be thinking of her and of you over the coming weeks. Thank you for taking the time to come here and let us all know xx