**Tamoxigang thread 51**... no more sangria, but maybe some mulled wine!

[MarthaCostello]

Hello all,

The old thread has nearly run out so I hope no one minds me making a new one. And am I allowed to mention the Big C... Christmas?! our last thread was started in July so I reckon this one might take us into December.

In honour of that, I will lay out some mulled wine, mince pies and I have wrapped myself in tinsel.

A warm welcome to jomidmum, but sorry you've had to join us. No one wants to be in this club, but this thread is a rather nice place to be. Wishing you a speedy recovery from your op, and hoping the pain eases soon.

Massive hugs to beccajoh

A big yippee for Marshy, what utterly fantastic news.

Sitting on the paranoia box for ConsiderablyBiggerBuns, I hope your MRI results are good - when will you hear?

Waving and sending love to everyone else.

I wonder if seeing as we are on a new thread, it might be worth just giving a bit of history for new posters? I will put mine anyway, and then others can if they want to. I am coming up to two years since my bowel cancer diagnosis (grade 2, stage 3c, T2N2M0R0). I had major bowel surgery and six months of chemo.

My (supposedly) last chemo was due on Christmas eve last year, but they agreed for me to move it to after Christmas so I had it on new Years Eve instead!

Speedy do take it easy when you go back, looking back I could have done with a few more weeks to recover really but I was desperate to be back and feel normal again.

Thanks Malt. I feel exactly like that; I just want some normality but am also scared I won't manage it. Am only going in for a half day and possibly another the first week, depending on how I feel and I won't have to do any planning or anything. After Christmas I may do two days for a few weeks before going back to three. And then I'll have my next op coming up of course!

Hope everyone has had a good day.

I'm glad you're going to go back gradually speedy,you'll be fine and will soon get into the swing of it again I'm sure. I found it really good to have something else to occupy my mind

Hoping the quietness on here means everyone is ok !

I had my ultrasound this morning on the lump at the edge of my armpit. Like last time it is an enlarged lymph node and today they were happy to leave it at that, so no biopsy. They're going to check it again in two months. I should be feeling relieved, but actually feel very flat and a bit uncertain. I think part of my problem is the radiologist, who doesn't have the best bedside manner and gives off " don't ask me any questions" vibes, so I never feel very reassured by her.

It's fairly quiet here, hope everyone is ok. Still wondering about becca.

Hi mrs
Good to hear you've got the scan out of the way. I can understand your unease at not having a definite outcome but you know that they would be all over it if they thought there was anything to be concerned about. It is a pain to have it at the back of your mind though. I feel for you.

I saw my surgeon for a boob check yesterday. She was pleased with the outcome and said that I don't need to see her now for 12 months. I felt quite elated at that prospect. I decided not to bring up my recent path results which went from 'needs chemo' to 'doesn't need chemo' over the course of a very long week as I didn't think it would be anything other than worrying.

She's referring me for 'stick on nipples' as she called them. Thought I'd try them before considering anything more permanent. Quite looking forward to that. All in all it was quite a jolly appt.

I had a few quiet moments sitting in her consultation room before she and the BCN breezed in and was reflecting on how many times I'd been in that room in the last 18 months, all the difficult conversations I'd had and what a long way I've come... It still seems unreal.

My sciatica is slowly improving. Am getting quite a few side effects from the antidepressants but I understand they wear off after a couple of weeks. Am sleeping better and less tearful than a while ago so all good.

Hope everyone is ok. I love reading everybody's updates.

Thinking of becca still

Marshy, how lovely to be signed off for a year, that must be a good feeling. After your recent hiccup with the chemo/not chemo week it must be quite overwhelming. I'm pleased to hear you're sleeping better and you are less tearful. Stick on nipples sound interesting.

I hate the little consulting room where I was told the worst news of my life. It's grotty and windowless and feels so depressing and where I was again last week. It's where the surgeon works, the oncologists have a swish new building next door. Goodness knows why the surgeons can't use it too, it's a specialist cancer unit. I know the radiologist would have taken a biopsy if she was worried. She just has a knack of saying she is not at all worried, while her face is saying the opposite. Very disconcerting. But I shouldn't grumble, tomorrow will be a better day when I don't have to be a cancer patient again.

Hi there, I've been quiet the last few days thanks to the wonderful SEs of taxol :(. Despite them reducing the dose by 20% last week the SEs have been exactly the same as before - aching, throbbing legs and arms and numb/stinging fingers and toes. Oh and the toothache! Today I went in for my second herceptin injection which went fine but then I wandered around town for a bit afterwards to get some bits and bobs to fill DDs homemade advent calendar and now I feel like I have a completely dead left leg around where the needle went in. Hope it's all back to normal tomorrow otherwise I can see a phone call coming on.

Then to cap it all I got home to a letter from another hospital asking me to contact them to arrange the 2 yearly endoscopy I have to have to monitor a pre cancerous duodenal polyp.... The cancer team have told me to wait until I've had my surgery in January before having the endoscopy so that's another thing to look forward to in 2015!

The party on Saturday was really good though and I managed to last to the end although I didn't get as far as the dance floor! It was so nice to go all made up although it reminded me just how naked my face looks now.

Marshy, all in all it sounds like you've had a fairly positive day. Glad to hear you don't have to see the surgeon again for another year and I'm pleased that the back pain is easing and you're getting more sleep.

Mrs, great news about your lump, shame you have such a lousy radiologist. Their manner can have such an influence on how we feel when we walk out a consulting room.

Hi to everyone else, hope all is ok

Waves to everyone.

Feeling a bit peed off, went to Docs to get repeat tamoxifen prescription and my blood pressure is high again (was sky high when I was on the chemo but came off the BP tablets back in July). She's given me a monitor and I've got to take my BP overthe next 10 days but if it's high, I'll be back on them again.

Its knocked me for 6 and I'm not sure why it's upset me so much. Maybe because I hate taking tablets or having anyone wrong with me (don't we all) - I can justify the tamoxifen in my head as its preventative but I just want to be healthy again.

Ok, winge over , good news about the lump mrs and sorry the taxol is being such a pain minty but gold you enjoyed your party.

Hope everyone doing ok and hugs to all, especially becca

Oh hi there wine that's a bit of a bugger about the BP. I can understand how you feel. You think things are getting back to 'normal' and something else comes along.

'Stick on nipples!!' That's something else to ask about. I had another expander inflation done today. They look quite good. But area under my arms looks awful.

Thanks all for the bra recommendations. I got sorted in the end. The fitter recommended maternity non-wired bras as they come in bigger sizes. I'll see if they are up to the job.

Mrs glad you had your scan and hopefully you are beginning to feel a bit more reassured, despite your radiographer!

Marshy good news that you don't have to go back for a year and am glad you are feeling less tearful.

Minty I hope your SE are lessening as the days go on and you got the feeling back in your leg?

Wine sorry about your BP. What a pain for you! Hope you are feeling a bit better about it.

Foo hope expanding is still going ok and too uncomfy.

I had my second lot of expanding today and after she took the needle out I started leaking fluid (she said the needle must have passed through a pocket of seroma). It wouldn't stop leaking though and I had to stay for ages which cost me loads as I had taken the car (first day of driving after op). I came home with lots of gauze and dressings and antibiotics. It was still going an hour ago but beginning to slow down. My boobs do look good though, despite the leaky one. Maybe it could be some sort of party trick .

Foo- that meant to say 'not too uncomfy'!

Oh speedy that's not good news about the leaking but good to hear the boobs are looking good :).

I braved it up to London today for a team workshop and drinks, am sat on the train home now. Unfortunately the SEs seem to be getting worse not better. my thumbs and first two fingers on each hand feel like they are permanently stuck in boiling water and the soles of my feet are on fire. its going to be one very painful walk home from the station. I've also got a faint 15x5cm bruise on my leg where I had the herceptin jab and it's still a bit sore. who knows what the Dr's will say about my next dose of tax on which I'm meant to be having on the 4th.

I rang my BCN team at 9.30 yesterday morning to try and get a bit more of an idea of timescales etc for surgery in January so I can arrange my endoscopy. I had to leave a message and I've still not had anyone call me back. I know they're really busy and will probably be sat in clinics all day but I'm not overly impressed with the service. hopefully someone will call on Monday.

anyway enough moaning DH is getting a curry for us when I get home so I'm looking forward to that! hope everyone else has a good weekend

I went to a homeopath's talk at the other day, she helps cancer patients. I have no idea if this is all woo but I'll share the notes I took in case it helps someone. Apologies for the spellings!!!

Arnica bruises
Hypercal for cuts

Arnica for shock
Ignatia for emotional trauma eg divorce, calms you down and makes trauma more manageable
Pulsatilla to stop tears on a daily basis

Surgery:
Arnica or bellis perennis. BP goes deeper

Staphis agrea for my body has been violated

Anxiety: eg routine mammogram, arsenicum, gilsenium?

Feeling like you're dying: aconite
Chemo: cadmium sulphate is great, reduces side effects. No nausea amongst patients on it during chemo.

Radiotherapy: harder to treat. Radium Bromide and the homeopathic remedy X-ray (trying it out). And campatharis for burns

Long term chemo side effects. Stiffness and tingling remedies available. Hot flushes: pulsatilla and calcarb, sepia, lachesis (snake remedy) and it also remedies odemas and swelling. Sulphur is also good for hot flushes and glonoine (gun powder).

Silver nitrate is good for anxiety eg checking the door is locked (driving back to check). Gensenium also.

Need x200 times strength preferably. She buys them from a shop in London who sell online (Ainsworths).

Two more remedies to support the breast: pulsatilla and vita laca?

Mets to the lung: lycopodium. Remarkable.

Lackarsis for odema. Aurum for bones or bone pain

Homeopathic opium for pain. Can reduce morphine intake.

Just as a note, our local day hospice offer all cancer patients free complementary therapies including homeopathy, head massages, etc. I didn't think I was ill enough to be referred but I was encouraged to try out these treatments. I'm really looking forward trying them out after I've healed in a few weeks.

Hi, new to this thread. Haven't read back too far I'm afraid. My mind is a bit all over the place.

Got an appointment tomorrow for the results of my biopsys and mamograms etc and to discuss options. They've already told me it is more than likely to be breast cancer though.

The letter that went to my Dr and copied to me says lots of things that mean nothing to me. But I see similar words being used in this thread so must be in the right place. I did start to google but I am quite scared now having found what P5 means. Think it's best to leave that well alone today and see what they say tomorrow.

Will start reading back some more once I get my head together. But just saying hi for now. It's nice to have somewhere to come and support each other through this.

Hello gilly. You have come to the right place and I'm really sorry you find yourself here, but please don't despair. If you do get a positive diagnosis tomorrow you will, most likely, get a full action plan of the treatments to get you well again. You are at the worst point right now, waiting for test results is terrifying. Once you have more knowledge, hopefully you will feel more in control. Whatever you do, do not google, but if you must stick to the main breast cancer websites which are more likely to be up to date, but read with care. Dont get ahead of yourself.

You will get to learn a lot of the terms, whatever is relevant to your care and there will be someone on here who has seen it, had it, going through it. It's the place to ask any question at all.

Are you taking someone with you tomorrow, two pairs of ears are very useful when getting difficult news and a lot of information? One thing to hold on to, there are ladies on here who were treated years ago and are now leading normal, healthy lives again, who pop up to say hello. It is scary initially, but there are loads of excellent treatments.

I was diagnosed in May, had my lump removed, radiotherapy and now take Tamoxifen every day. I feel perfectly normal. Good luck tomorrow, listen carefully and we will be here afterwards to help if we can.

Hi all
Gillybean, welcome from me also. Avoid Google. The info on it is at least five years out of date, as a rule. And nearly all breast cancer treatments have been changed in the last couple of years. So you might as well be reading stuff from medieval England. If it's any consolation at all, the success rate is about 90% now (in other words, people living as long as they would have done anyway, with no sign of the cancer). Lots of the other 10% find that the brand new treatments mean they just live with the cancer long-term. Annoying, but not fatal. So it's very different now to Ye Olden Days of five to ten years ago. I'm not about to say that treatments are easy, but there's good people here to chat to about whatever may be ahead. The waiting time is indeed definitely the worst bit for most of us. Oddly, it's far more doable once we knew what they were going to do and when. Have a
(I'm one of the oldies - diagnosed nearly four years ago, and worked through chemo and radiotherapy etc, which shows that even that's possible for a few. All depends on how individual bodies react to stuff. Fewer and fewer need chemo these days, too - the modern treatments are tending to be different).

Welcome gilly (although sorry you have possibly joined us).

I hope the news is good for you tomorrow, but if not, as mrs and amber have said, treatments aren't fun but are certainly do-able. I was diagnosed with breast cancer oct 13 and chemo, surgery and radiotherapy later, I'm back to 'normal' and at work again.

Whatever your Doctor says tomorrow there is someone on here who will have been through the same and will be able to help.

Best of luck to tomorrow and hugs to you (this thread has an exemption on the MN ban on hugs )

Gilly I'm sorry if you have to join us but welcome. Do come back and tell us how you get on tomorrow and we can help you out with advice and support. This thread was a lifeline for me last year when I went through treatment and still is really even though I'm now back at work and busy with kids and christmas and everything else !
Try not to google, do ask for help sleeping if you're finding yourself fretting in the dark hours of the night and do ask us anything x

Welcome Gilly. Very good advice above. I was diagnosed in March and the wonderful people on this thread have helped me through with their support and advice. The waiting for results was the worst bit and as has been said further up once there is a plan you feel more in control.
The bits I found very important to start with were not 'googling' as that just panicked me and being told on here that there were lots of options for treatment so not to automatically assume the worst.

will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Welcome to the thread Gilly. You will be reeling from hearing the news. Let us help to hold you steady. We have all weathered the storm in one way or another.

Hi gilly welcome from me too. I was diagnosed in March, had surgery for BMX, chemotherapy and will be starting radiotherapy tomorrow so all finished by Christmas - woohoo. Mentally, this really is the worst bit, please come back and let us know how you get on.

Hi gilly, just a quick wave from me as I need some sleep.

Saveme .... That homeopathic info looks interesting, will look at it more tomorrow