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Friend with OCD.Help........

3 replies

mum2oliver · 30/09/2006 21:27

A newish friend of mine has OCD but I dont know much about it.She said she had it when her son was born she couldnt go out of the house with out leaving a certain way,things would have to be tiday and in their place.
Iv started picking up her son from school I am a childminder.We have agreed that its just a casual arrangement ie she wont pay me if she doesnt need me any day and Im charging her a slightly cheaper rate.
I asked her if she could set up a standing order so the money can be paid in my account.She told me that she pays her mum a standing order and that on ONE occassion it was a few days late but it has only happened once.I was fine with that.I even though it was such a good idea I asked an excisting parent if she could also set up a sstadning order so all my money could go in on a Friday.It was the first week last week and there was no wages in my account on the Friday.I approached my friend by an msn message quite casualy and politely saying that the money hasnt gone in yet.She replied that she did say it would take a few days.This is not true-she said on one occasion it was late with her mums-this led me to believe that it would most of the time go in on the day requested.I said this to her and replied quite bluntly that she was going bed as tired-night.I asked if she was ok and she just said hshe was tired.
The next day we hooked up on msn and I asked her what days she wants me to have her son in the half term.She said she would ffind out.I didnt mention ot again but she kept saying to me that she would find out.I was laid back about it as its a little while.Just wanted to know as surely anyone would!!??
A few days later she told me it was just the one day (on msn) She then gradually brought up that she thought that all I was concernded about was the money and nothing else.
Pleasse someone tell me how she has come to this conclusion?!
I explained that I was a little offended that she thought this and that it was purely so I could ake sure that I can look after him and so I could plan things as childminders do ie days out,food etc.
Iv looked after her ds since schools went back and nearly every week there had been a day where she hasnt needed me but has inly managed to let me know that morning.Admittedly some of the days have been not known about but the resst she has been aware but has just left it to tell me on the morning.
I would like to approach her and aas her if she could give more notice (if she knows about it) if she doeant need me.I really dont feel like I can.I feel that she will just go really over the top about it.
My dh and her dh are playing golf tomorrow so myds,her ds and me and her have arranged to go out and I thought it would be really nice if I asked my best freinds dd along.I told friend this and it seems she has gone in a mood over it.She has not replied to my messages very ploitely and my dh says this is just what she is like.
Is this behaviour ok?Is it normal?Is it the OCD? Have I been out of order asking my bestfreinds dd along with consulting my friend?Please advice.Sorry if loads of mistakes.

OP posts:
mum2oliver · 30/09/2006 22:02

bumpety bumpety bump.Anyone help?

OP posts:
HonorMatopoeia · 30/09/2006 22:08

IME this does not sound like her OCD, if anything it sounds more like depression. The feeling that everyone is getting at you, taking everything to heart etc. She'll have dwelt on everything you said and built it up to a much larger thing iyswim. However, I'm not sure i know how to deal with it. I have friends with OCD and depression but have never been in such a situation with them. I too have an OCD and can be prone to mild depression, maybe they go hand in hand? Sorry that is just a ramble and probably not very helpful.

mum2oliver · 30/09/2006 22:35

No thats great.If I do ever feel like I can approach her at least I can make a suggestion about depression.She doesnt have many friends at all as they wont put up wiht what Im going thru with her now.Its mu dh and her dh that have know each other for years but have only just started hanging around properly again.She is on antidepressants.Thanku for your inout.
Anyone else please?

OP posts:
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