I don't know why I'm posting this, I just need to write it down. I finally went to the doctors today to get help for faecal incontinence. I went with a list of things, mostly minor, and I wasn't even sure I was going to mention the incontinence until I blurted it out. The doctor was lovely. I cried, I don't know why. Had to deal with a horrific lubed finger up the bum examination. She's referring me. I know there's much worse to come. I want to run away and hide. I've ignored the problem for 3 years, part of me wants to carry on ignoring it for ever. I'm feeling drained and scared. I've not even told my dh and I don't want to. Sorry for the stream of consciousness, I'm just scared about what comes next (she's referring me, not sure who to) and having to tell my dh at some point.