Low and lost

[Nalanoo]

This year I had a public meltdown and had to sell my business. I was admitted to a mental hosp. I am on the bipolar spectrum. I was well for a couple of months and have crashed again last week. I have 2 beautiful children and a patient husband. I feel I am a burden on them as long as I am like this. I honestly feel they would be better without me. I just can't seem to get out of the dark. Am due to start lithium next week. Has anyone out there recovered after taking lithium? I don't know who I am anymore my head is so messed up and crazy. I am at the docs Tom again to see my specialist who is looking after me well. I feel like I just can't explain to people what is going on for me. My mum doesn't get it - she thinks I'm a drama queen. Maybe I am! X what can I do to make it go away?

Anyone?

Hi. Just wanted to send love and hugs.

I suffer from some mental health issues and long term Heath problems. I'm reliant on my husband to help look after me, and have struggled at times to look after my children. There have been times when I've felt in a very dark place like you.

Try to keep remembering that you are ill. It is not your fault. You did not chose to be like this. Hopefully with the right treatment you will slowly start to feel better than you do now.

As my husband keeps reminding me, he said in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, when we got married, and that one day in might be the other way round.

You said that you have 2 beautiful children. I'm sure that they love you for who you are. To them you are the best mum they will even have. Mums come in all shapes and sizes, you don't have to be super mum, just a good enough mum. They will not be better off without you.

There isn't any miracle cure, but slowly things can get better. Keep going.

It have a close friend whom I have known for five plus years. She works as a teacher, has two dd, gardens, dog walks and has a good life.she very recently confided that she has bipolar. She responds extremely well to lithium and hardly anyone knows she even has this diagnosis. It's hugely important to recognise that recovery won't be overnight and you won't be cured but as to living a full and happy life, absolutely.

Use all the support you can get and take it very, very slowly. The world would not be better without you, let alone your dc. If you have such dark thoughts please, please seek urgent help. You can get well.

Al the best.x

Thankyou so much to both of you for taking the time to reply. I do need to accept I am unwell and need to get myself better for my family and me. Hopefully I will get the right treatment now and I can move forward. You have both helped me today sort out my jumbled head and made me realise that it will pass. Thankyou

Be kind to yourself. Your illness is just as real as a physical one. Your husband sounds wonderful and will be there for you when you need support. Medication takes time to work, but it will and you will be well again. Try to take it a day at a time and not look for all the answers at once. Keep posting here and you will get lots of support from those who have been where you are just now. Best wishes x