How would you feel if you received this e/mail from a consultant? And how should I react?

[emkana]

The e/mail reads:

"I gather that you have been phoning to find out how referrals etc are progressing for Sebastian. I have not heard from the Radiologist in Bristol and assure you that I will write to you as soon as I do.

As far as the referrals are concerned, you have to understand that unless we feel something is urgent, there is a time lag between you being seen in clinic, me dictating the letter, it being typed, me checking the letter, it being sent and received and an appointment sent out. All this can take several weeks, so please bear with us a little longer.

I do understand your anxiety about Sebastian, but I must urge you to trust us that we will contact you as soon as there is any news on his X-rays and that Bristol will contact you when the letters are received."

I saw the consultant 19 days ago, and phoned up last Friday, yesterday and today to find out what was happening because I hadn't heard a thing.

And that bit where she says "unless something is urgent" - FFS ds has been unwell every single day of his young life with respiratory problems, but oh no it's not urgent to refer him to a lung specialist, not at all.

And he has problems with head control, but no, physiotherapy not urgent either. Take your f*ing time by all means.

I am , can you tell?

Funnily enough she wrote a second e/mail 90 mins later in which she had suddenly read the letter from the radiologist in Bristol. How convenient that it happened to arrive just then, I'm sure it hadn't been lying around somewhere, oh no...

Radiologist unable to make definite diagnosis btw, so no news there.

I also object to the fact that this consultant addresses me by my first name but signs with Dr. X. Probably petty, but still.

I am so f*ing livid, what am I going to do now?

It sounds frustrating to have to wait but it was good that she took the time to email you.

emkana - I'd be annoyed too, I think, but in answer to your question, I don't think you should react at all. sebastian being unwell unfortunatly does not make his case urgent and I really doubt you'll acheive anything other than get yourself even more stressed out. well I say that, can you ask for a second opinion about the physio?

actually emkana she may well have chased the radiologist in bristol, and been sent a letter by email within the hour. Just pointing this out in case you go ballistic on her and this is in fact what happened!

but I agree, it is crap. my ds sees a paediatric endocrinologist every 5 months (as he has a congenital endocrine disorder) and the moment we leave the room she picks up her dictaphone and dictates a letter to my gp, copied to me, confirming what we have just said and including his bloods results for the file, and the letter, plus next appointment time, is received by me in the morning post the next day or the day after.

It is possible, it just requires higher expectations than "oh it takes 3 weeks to get a letter out". My commiserations to you.

I would be angry -- and I'd want to do something about it (mainly bcs, having written a letter, I'd be able to detatch myself from it a bit... ie, I'd feel I'd followed through).
I would certainly put something in writing to the hospital's chief executive saying you are being placed under unwarranted and increasing pressure bcs of the way Sebastian's case is being handled. Mentioning time lags, people not getting back to you until nagged, etc.
I would also make the point about how you are addressed, and how she signed off. That's very telling, IMO.
I complained to a hospital chief exec about some NHS treatment not long ago and was surprised by how much energy went into the investigation. Nothing wrong with having 'bolshy' put on your casenotes, AFAIC. Hopefully it also made the person concerned think again when dealing with the public.
I think occasionally it's good for health professionals who may are up to their eyeballs in stuff like this to be reminded that they are dealing with real people who deserve to be treated with respect and sensitivity.

How can it take sooo long to sort this out?? angry for you. How can they say it's not urgent???

Complain - how come this doc can type emails but not type a letter?

Very of your consultant, QPH!

I just feel very angry and very despondent atm.

Emkana -

Health professionals working in the NHS are public servants. They work for you (as well as thousands of other patents admittedly). Therefore ou have every right to chase up appointments and find out what stage things are at. I'd have been steaming if I got that e-mail, not least because of its patronising tone.

However, I always find that anger doesn't get you far with doctors and it's far better to go in with a smile on your face and a string of questions up your sleeve. Such as: why is there a time lag between letters being dictated? Would it be possible for the consultant to e-mail the X-ray dept or the dept at Bristol or even phone to speed things up? And what should you, as his mother, do if you feel that things are urgent?

I'd reply to the e-mail if I were you and ask some of those things. It sounds like what the doctor is saying is 'stop contacting me, I'm aware of your situation' - but if you could turn it into a dialogue rather than the doctor decreeing from on high that you've got to be a good girl and wait patiently, it's a much more adult way of working together for your son's health and much more effective. Treat your doctor like your equal and try to respect her as much as you can - so she will give you the same back in return (or look like a total idiot!)

Hope you get some satisfaction on this!

OK, I can completely see why you are angry, and I don't really want to be in the position of defending the consultant, but I just want to say that of course there is no reason on earth to think that the consultant typed the email- it is a good bet it was her secretary, and the secretary will have chosen the sign-off. I have to say that I would not go off and send a letter to the chief executive- I know that's cowardly, and maybe if you did it would help get a better service at some point for someone else, but I really think that unless you're somewhere where you have lots of choice of hospitals it would be a mistake to completely alienate and piss off your consultant. Having said that, I would send the X rays to the US- you are clearly not going to get a definitive answer here, and that's what you really need.

I don't mean this to sound harsh; I really do sympathise and I would be furious too if it was me.

Ah, good advice from texasrose there.

Yes, good advice, thank you.

I am very grateful for opinions/advice.