Tell it to me straight about lung cancer

[sarahbanshee]

My older brother aged 51 has just been diagnosed with lung cancer. He had been feeling rubbish and breathless for a few weeks, his doctor was 85% sure it was sarcoidosis but he had a biopsy and the results came through a few days ago and no, fuck, it is lung cancer.

He said it is not smoking related (although he was an occasional smoker, until about fifteen eyes ago) but is just " very bad luck" in his doctor's words. He described it to me as " small and all over" rather than one big tumour and therefore no operation, no radiotherapy, just chemo which he starts soon.

After talking to him I looked it up on Cancer Research UK and I'm not quite sure how to relate what he said about what type of cancer it is to the information there. I get however that if it's inoperable then it's bad. Fuck again.

Can anyone help me get my head round what we're probably dealing with here? I don't want to bombard him with questions but I'd like to understand what we are most likely talking about and what it means so I can be helpful and also be prepared for what is coming.

He is being treated at Ipswich hospital - I know where you're being treated is v important, are they any good??

Oh balls. This is not good at all is it? He's married and he's got a son who turns 18 in January. They are fab and will be so brave and treat everything with loads of black humour. I love them and I'm so sad and worried.

Sorry to ramble. Any advice very very welcome.

Sarah I can't answer your questions. I think I'd really want to know the answers, if I was you, but only your brother and family are going to get this sort of info and are probably processing it. Regurgitating it for family will come but later. You sound like you know this and sound a lovely sister

What you could do is ask him what can you do to support the family. Head down that route. It's probable that he will have lots of hosp appts and managing those can be tricky. Can you be their taxi?

Thanks FrontForward. We are about two hours from them and I work FT so my practical fetch and carry help may be limited, but we will try and work out what we can do - nephew is a mountain biking champ and races a lot of weekends so maybe we can help out accompanying him and cheering him on while my brother is too poorly to travel.

Bit calmer today since having the time to process it but still trying to understand and cope with it. My mum (not his mum, we are half-siblings, but she is very fond of him) keeps saying how good it is that the hospital are not hanging round and getting him started on the chemo and I am smiling and nodding but inside thinking is it?!? Isn't it a very bad sign that he is straight to the front of the queue?!?

so sorry to hear this . Terrible shock .

Think it's normal to start chemo so quickly ,I had upper GI cancer and started chemo 2 weeks after diagnosis . Think protocol not jumping the queue .

Could you ring MacMillan for more info ?

Good luck to you all x

I am so sorry to hear this - sadly we have had a fair bit of cancer in our family, so I have an idea of how you are feeling. Two were lung cancer. Both inoperable, treated with chemo. One quite quickly, one delayed treatment.

It is a shitty, shitty thing for everyone.
x

Where you are treated in cancer terms is actually not very important - everywhere follows the sames rules and policies, all oncologists work in big centres (even those in smaller hospitals will also be at the big centres)

The most important thing is that it's close to home, friendly and that he likes his oncologist and the nurses.

Best wishes, it's awful news.

You could be the person they all bitch to about stuff;my brother lives in Sweden & takes that role,I bitch to him,my dad bitches to him - it protects my mum (who bitches at everyone but no-one bitches at her)

My dad has small cell lung cancer - he started chemo within the week & radio unexpectedly 6 weeks later, it was supposed to be 18 weeks later

Good luck - it isn't a battle it's an illness; it doesn't matter how hard he 'fights' it matters how well he lives each day

Thanks for all the replies and suggestions. It was my son's 6th birthday party today which helped take our minds off it all for today at least. So sad and scared for him but trying to feel positive about taking on whatever comes next.

Sarah, not sure I can offer advice but perhaps some hand-holding? I've just learnt over the weekend that my mum has lung cancer. At the moment we don't know type or prognosis but I feel it's not good (how can it ever be?!). I'm 3.5 hours away and she only has me which is making this even more unbearable.

Thoughts are with you....

Thanks Linus33 - you too. Some hand holding sounds good to me.