Looking for done stern / kind words which will stop me from drinking

[potatofactory]

Every single night. Last night me & dh shared a bottle of wine - ostensibly no problem, but I had a couple of swigs of gin from the bottle too argh! Hate myself so much and sadly this sort of behaviour has become a pattern for me. So sick of waking up with resolve, then battling with myself as evening approaches, and then fucking up again every single day.

I've given up fags before, so I know I have done reserves of willpower somewhere...

Swigging from a bottle on the sly shows that you're hiding it, which shows that you're ashamed of doing it, which shows you've got a problem.

Here's my advice:

No one can help you.

Carrying on drinking will keep you carrying on drinking. Fact.

Alcohol has absolutely no benefits AT All. It doesn't relieve stress. It doesn't solve problems. Fact.

Don't 'give up' drinking. 'Stop' drinking. There's a difference. 'Giving up' suggests having to 'deny' or 'deprive' yourself. 'Stop' is otoh a positive suggestion.

I won't say good luck because luck has fuck all to do with it however I will think of you.

Thanks - a good mix of stern and kind ... I appreciate your words.

Someone once said the same to me

Stop drinking completely.
DH and I used to drink every night. A bottle if wine here, some cans of lager for him, we'd had a stressful day, week, month, we'd had a good day, week, month, just been paid, fed up of waiting for payday etcetera. Both working, functioning adults, didn't have a drinking problem because people with drinking problems start drinking as soon as they get up don't they? Would resolve to cut down, have alcohol free days etc, but there was always a reason it didn't last. DH started doing things like following up his cans of lager with some glugs of vodka or similar and once or twice started drinking on the afternoon of his day off when he has the kids. But lots of our friends drink during the day so....
Then one day DH decided to have a drink before work and got sacked. It has had a massive impact on our family and it has taken us 3 years to get past it.
No one in our social circle would have said that DH had a problem with alcohol. It is amazing how once you've stopped and got over the first few weeks that a. You realise how much better things are and b. how normalised excessive drinking is in our society.
You have recognised that you need to do something and that is the most important first step. You can and will do it.

There's been another thread like this recently, and I suggested there finding something non-alcoholic that is a treat to drink. I don't know how it is for you, for often, it's the 'I deserve this' sort of thinking that gets us drinking. Expensive tasty juice will still be cheaper than wine. Put some ice in a glass, make the drink look appetising and 'treat-like'.

Do you have children?

I am the child of an alcoholic father. He has battled it my entire life. For the past year he has stopped drinking and I am so so happy to have my dad back.

The amount of stress and anxiety having a heavy drinker for a parent causes cannot be underestimated, it literally screws you up in one way or another.

I'm not saying you are an alcoholic yet, by the way. But most alcoholics start of with a social drink every night - nobody thinks they will be the old wino making the 8am booze run at the local offy.

You can do it. You gave up cigs and that's bloody hard I am struggling with that myself, there's absolutely no reason why you can't stop the habit of a drink every night. Prove it to yourself.

You are all so kind - I think I am an alcoholic, though the label scares me. I agree that stopping completely is the only choice - shouldn't be a big deal but it feels like one.

I desperately want not to have this problem and I don't want it to affect my children - I don't think it has yet apart from the odd irritable day...

My DM has just spent several weeks in hospital as her liver had started failing some time ago, leading to all her muscles becoming wasted, an inability to digest food and malnutritioned. She is out of hospital now but she will be unlikely to walk without a mobility aid for at least a couple of years, if ever. She is 60 years old.

Purely down to daily alcohol consumption over 30 odd years. It could have been avoided if she'd even stopped drinking a couple of years ago. It's never too late to stop - your liver is an amzing organ that can heal itself well as long as alcohol is not consumed daily. At the very least, give yourself a target of having 2 complete days off booze a week to allow your body some time to heal.

I've stopped.. Well it's early days yet, but I'm proving to myself it can be done. Label or no labeIl, if you're thinking this much about alcohol it's taking up too much room in your life, and I garantee it's not giving you anything. Maybe take up some form of exercise (or do more if you already do) - if nothing else it fills the time, and in my case gives me something else to obsess over. Also I'm the daughter of an alcoholic mother, one of my main reasons for wanting to be free of alcohol.

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/

defintely not tryying to 'label' you
AA will offer advice and support about any drinking

I see from the AA website, that you can communicate with them via email. I was always terrified of the idea of meetings, so I might try this... Feeling really scared. But a bit optimistic! I might set up another email account though as I can't risk my DH seeing anything - I'm not ready / willing to tell him anything at the moment.

I'm really grateful for all comments

Sorry to hear your mum has been so unwell, hercomers

How about "You're killing yourself"? Will that stop it?

Do you want to see your grandchildren?

I just want to say, further to my earlier reply, well done for recognising that you may have a problem. It's a very brave first step and it must be pretty daunting. I wish you lots of courage and strength and I'm sure you will get plenty of support on here from others that have been where you are

Stop drinking for a month.

In that month read anything you can get your hands on, sobriety blogs, sobriety books, chat forums like brighteyescouncelling.

Then reappraise the situation.

A total step back from drinking, and inspiration from others helped me a lot when I decided I was drinking too much.

My dad used to drink every night. He would have a rule that it would have to be after 7pm but that time became earlier and earlier. He did eventually give up with help from AA but sadly passed away from liver problems caused by the alcohol a year later. He was 55 and never met his grandchildren.

I'm sorry to hear that mynameis.. Also terrified to hear.

I will stop. The people who I know who don't drink look amazing, and happy.