Hi all, I've come on here as I would like some advice - never posted before - and also wanted to keep anonymous as you'll understand when you read on..
I have been married to my lovely and caring wife for over 10 years, she is 45 and I am 37 and we have three great kids - all at school age. Throughout our relationship alcohol has played a big part. When I say that I mean we both enjoyed consuming alcohol although this became an almost nightly habit. On average we would between us get through three bottles of red wine every other if not every weekday night. At the weekend it would be a bottle of whiskey or gin on a Saturday and visa versa on a Sunday.. Then the cycle starts again on Monday. Over the last two years I have come to realise that this is a major problem not only on our finances but also our health.. We both put on a lot of weight but recently lost a great deal too through vlcd diets. Of course these diets have been strictly no alcohol so that's been fine - stuck to it no problem. Infact I get a sense of relief when the diets begin as there's no drinking. I really don't want to drink , I'm happier with a cup of tea than a glass of wine!! My wife however seems to put 'pressure' on me to drink. She says she doesn't but to me it feels like it. About a year ago I took myself to the docs to try and get some help but to be honest was embarrassed about the whole thing. I now don't look forward to weekends away or holidays because I know it will be all about drinking in the evenings to excess - much more than at home and then feeling pretty guilty every morning for not being strong. I am at the moment trying to say no but I am always getting 'do you want a drink tonight?' And being asked why I don't want to. To be honest it's becoming quite hard to cope with. I know people will say 'just say no!' But I'm sure there are others who have been in a similar situation too who find it so difficult when it's all the time. I have had discussions with her on a number of occasions about health and 'we really should stop drinking' but everything seems to slip back to where it was :/ any words of advice ? I know all about AA and all that stuff but she would never admit she has a problem. Thank you for reading :)