Sporners advice needed. My bollock has burst, what now?

[o0]

Giant bartholin cyst. GIANT. GIANT.

It burst earlier today all of it's own accord. I swear it must be a Tardis Cyst as there was so much pus and blood it couldn't all have fitted in. Gross but oh so satisfying. It was a river.

Well there's still a hard lump there. Before it was small plum sized but now it's pea sized. Does that mean there's still more to come out?

While the oozing part was fun I'd quite like it to go away now. My poor lumpy fanny.

Do we not get a picture

Oh, just realised that the cyst was not in an appropriate place for a picture

you're almost there, now go for the core.

And you know, we've all seen a fanny before...

I did actually think that I could have shot it close up and no one would have been able to tell what part of my body it was!

What letter said

I doubt your name is tattoed on your fanjo so Id is protected :o

I'm sure that we have all seen a fanny before but we don't want to be attracting the wrong type of person to mumsnet. It would be just like penis beaker all over again.....

There's nothing in the world more satisfying than a burst bartholins cyst. It's like a mega chin spot magnified.

If you don't get the rest it will just grow back (that's what cysts do). So get it popped.

Earlier on I was actually thinking that as fanjos go mine is rather nice.

It's all neat and tidy and symmetrical. Well, usually.

Now tell me what to do! I can't film anything if you don't tell me what to do next!

How do I pop it, weegiemum?

Not a needle.

Do I just squeeze hard?

I've just jiggled my profile so you can see the year I joined. Just in case anyone thinks I'm a Lady Garden Troll. This is a new name change recently so might have looked suspicious. I really really don't want you all to share any pics.

How on earth did you get it to pop?!
I currently have one too and am in agony every time I sit down. The worst part is it's come up 4 times in the last 7 months and just won't fuck off and I can't wear my jeans as I'd need the next size up!
Am I destined to have a lumpy fanny for all of eternity?

It was actually a really old thread on here that gave me the tip, Surf. It said sit in a hot, salty bath. Really salty. It took only 2 baths and then today POP.

Depends how comfortable you are rummaging around. You might use your fingers to just keep squeezing it out, but it's possible a needle or even tweezers (depending on how it is, if the core part seems grippable) could get it out. Make sure you have scrubbed clean hands and sterilized implements!

I'm putting my money on a curled up hair in there, all calcified and pus covered.

The core part is easily gripped but seems quite far in now.

I'll try some proper hard core squeezing first as I'm rummage friendly but not needle friendly.

I had a bit of a squeeze just a little while ago and it's all stingy now. Sob.

Sorry you're in pain OP but get yourself a pair of pointed tweezers and get rummaging.

Something like sm33 (mouth ulcer) gel would help I would think as it numbs and disinfects at the same time?

Also you need these, I love my needle nose tweezers for annoying ingrown hair removal, it seems like they'd be quite handy in a more surgical situation if appropriately sterilised...

Oh dear GOD, those tweezers look like an instrument of torture. They make me feel funny just looking at them.

I'm looking at Sporners in a whole new light!

I'm not sure if I'd have the intestinal fortitude to dig around in my own nether regions with them mind you!