Booked an abortion and now very nervous

[sm2012]

I've just rebooked a surgical abortion (awake) appointment for next week and am so scared that I'll not go through with it again and it'll be too late - I'll be approx 9 weeks. I definitely don't want another child, already have two dd's who would be 8 and 6, but am just anxious about the procedure. If anyone has any positive experiences that would help me through this difficult time I'd appreciate it. I also feel guilty about my decision but feel it is better to not continue with an unwanted pregnancy and ultimately be resentful.

No expirience but happy to hand hold and bump till someone with more knowledge comes along

Thank you Matildasmam22. Keep feeling like I'll be completely fine and then suddenly a wave of panic will hit me. Appt isn't until next Thurs which is good as it gives me time to prepare mentally and make doubly sure I am certain but is also not good as obviously the sooner the better and it's almost too much time to think and dwell on it.

No experience but hand holding.
What's the main worry , is it the actual procedure? Can you ask for a light sedation?

Huge decision to make and your mind will most likely be made up and unmade a million times before next week.
I'm Pro Choice , I took the MAP many years ago, the turmoil that swirls round your brain is immense.
But , years later, I made the right choice.
And you will too.
(( hand))

I had a surgical termination at 9 weeks, but I was under sedation. He worst bit for me was arriving at hospital, on my own on a bus, and sitting outside waiting for my appointment time. I too had dc, and was sure of my decision. But oh, that half hour was a lonely time. I went in, and was convinced there'd be a sea of terrified faces in the waiting room and judgemental nurses. I fact, I was in the day surgery unit and it was full of people there for all sorts of reasons, no one would have had a clue why I was there. The staff were all genuinely lovely too. So much so that I hugged them on my way out, I was so grateful for their total support and lack of judgement. I got there, put my gown on and had to have two pessaries put in. That was the worst bit tbh, and it was over in a few seconds, and done with a bit of gentle humour by the nurse to get me to relax. Then I waited an hour or so to be taken to surgery. Was put under by a pair of lovely guys who again chatted to me and made me feel at ease. Woke up about 15 minutes later. No pain, and tbh no real blood loss. I was worried about the anaesthetic but I needn't have been. If it's an option, do consider it. I think it helped a great deal emotionally to wake up and it was over iykwim. I knew being scared of the procedure was no reason to carry on a pregnancy that would negatively impact my existing dc, and I've not regretted it or felt guilty. It's still a big taboo, but lots of women who are already mothers have terminations. I felt nothing but relief once it was over. Ask about contraception at the same time, you can have a coil put in at the same time if you want, it's something to consider.
Practically, I took a funny book to pass the time and my phone and some headphones to listen to music. I didn't need half the crap I took in my hospital bag, and I was up and about after a few hours, and felt normal the next day. The one thing that worries me is that you say you feel guilty about your decision. You really do have to be sure. It was made very clear to me on the day that nice the pessaries are in place, there's no going back. I was very sure. But, you can change your mind any time before then. If you do, please do call to cancel the appointment so someone else can have it. I had to wait 4 weeks for my termination and the wait was awful, especially as I had very obvious pg symptoms, nausea and tiredness. I'd have been so grateful to have been fitted in earlier. Good luck with whatever you decide x

Hi, thank you so much for your replies. It's helping to put my mind at ease about the whole procedure. When I said I feel guilty about my decision I think I just never thought I'd be in this position and have to decide one way or the other. I don't feel guilty as such about having an abortion I think it's just because it's such a taboo topic. Knowing that the staff I'll meet next week will more than likely be sympathetic and understanding puts me more at ease.

I had one a good 7 or 8 years ago, although mine was under GA.
Like PPs I just felt enormous relief when it was done - I knew I didn't want a child at that point. I've never regretted it for a minute.

I am sure the staff will be sympathetic - the clinic will feel a bit wierd but you shouldn't be in there long and then you can go home and rest up. I think I felt rotten for 1 or 2 days and that was it. SIL had one recently too and she had a similar experience.

Hi OP. I too felt relief! Was nervous before of course, but I think that was more to do with the surgery aspect.

I think there is a taboo and even many pro lifers seem to think it's a decision to be agonised over, and one to feel bad about. But don't - if you've made your decision, that's good enough. You don't have to feel guilt or anguish or anything. You're doing the right thing.

I had a general anaesthetic and was pleased I did. I would perhaps ask about sedation, I'm sure they can at least give you something you calm your nerves.

I had the same procedure 10 years later when I had a missed miscarriage and the procedures were the same and the kindness and helpfulness the same. There's no judgement from anyone at the clinic/hospital.

I promise you'll be fine.

Thank you everyone for your replies, means a lot to me and is helping me get through the week until Thursday. I think that's one of the hardest bits now, the wait.

I had it done with no anaesthetic a few years ago, it does hurt (not as much as childbirth) and i had a big drop in blood pressure afterwards leading to a very dizzy spell. All over quite quickly and no physical after effects really. The guilt didn't totally go away for me but does ease as time passes, never an easy decision for anyone (was 8 weeks)

I keep switching between feeling very anxious about the procedure and feeling relieved that it'll soon be done and I can start getting back to a sense of normality. It has totally taken over my life for the past few weeks as I'm sure you can imagine and I'm still unsure how I'll really feel come Thursday evening when it's all over, probably relief mixed with guilt and sadness.

Thinking of you today op x hope it goes well

Hope today went smoothly and you are now home resting sm2012

I've been wondering how you are too. Hope you are ok.